Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here - and he would be on the registry had anyone caught him.

They didn't have sex and I believe them. This won't make anyone decide to love him but here I how I know. SIL gave me a phone she had from when she was 17. On it were a bunch of texts of her now husband threatening to break up with her because they had been together 4 years and she wouldn't have sex with him.

That doesn't make it any better. He was bullying his girlfriend who was 13 when they started dating. She's never had a normal relationship - and he's probably abusive.

Yeah, that kind of makes it worse, actually. I wouldn't feel bad about hurting his feelings. He's a jerk and a creep.

There is no reason to pursue this conversation in any shape or form, OP. No apologies, you did nothing wrong. They were borderline as teens, but that's all water under the bridge and can't be undone.

Everybody should move on.

Umm, I would have said "yeah I'm glad it worked out, but that's creepy AF too"

Your family sounds seriously trashy.

You didn't put your foot in your mouth. You stated your opinion on the inappropriateness of adults dating underage teens, which is a perfectly normal and healthy perspective that most of us share in this culture. If your in-laws don't understand this or like it, that's their problem.

Anonymous wrote:When someone says "watch it", you STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

You sound like a brainless sheep.

You clearly know you are right, you only should regret not telling your SIL and and BIL to stop being insane and making excuse for something wrong, wrong that they did and that somebody in their family is doing. They were being rude by telling you to "watch it." Clearly that family is full of bullies and sec offenders. I hope you don't think you were really putting your foot in your mouth, but rather that you are posting knowing you are right and seeing just criticism of your ILS?

What the OP said was fine. Her BIL's reaction was out of line. Nothing to fix here.

I would only be concerned with one thing: Does your own DH hang out with this BIL? Does he see this guy as a buddy? Because the "watch it" stuff, plus what you know from those old messages to SIL, add up to a pretty questionable guy who might be at a minimum controlling. I know my DH would find this guy distasteful at best and skeevy at worst and would not want to be around him except in groups at family functions of limited duration.

Was your DH present when BIL told you to watch it? Did he react?

If your DH doesn't see why BIL is creepy -- not just then, now as well -- you might need to give DH a "come to Jesus" talk about a woman's perspective on this.

Someone being offended doesn't make you wrong. Your assessment of the situation was correct and they were just offended because their own relationship was disgusting.

I'm sorry but your whole family sounds creepy

So gross. Don't give it another thought, OP. I wouldn't bring it up again but I also would not apologize. Just yuck.

Yes, you did put your foot in your mouth. No one in the family needed you to weigh in on an old story.

Not sure how you fix it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here - and he would be on the registry had anyone caught him.

They didn't have sex and I believe them. This won't make anyone decide to love him but here I how I know. SIL gave me a phone she had from when she was 17. On it were a bunch of texts of her now husband threatening to break up with her because they had been together 4 years and she wouldn't have sex with him.

That doesn't make it any better. He was bullying his girlfriend who was 13 when they started dating. She's never had a normal relationship - and he's probably abusive.

OP, I'd just leave it alone.