Anonymous wrote:Okay, let me get this straight.

Here are your problems: You have a toddler daughter and your SIL is willing to spend a lot of time with her. Specifically, your SIL wanted to sit next to your daughter. And she wanted to keep holding her. Did you pay her for all this?

Are you being purposefully obtuse?

Okay, let me get this straight.

Here are your problems: You have a toddler daughter and your SIL is willing to spend a lot of time with her. Specifically, your SIL wanted to sit next to your daughter. And she wanted to keep holding her. Did you pay her for all this?

She sounds like an aunt who loves her niece and has a sense of humor.

You sound like you need to go to the spa for a day, go get drunk, do something wield and crazy and gain perspective.

If these are the things you are fuming about, you are going to hav ea heart attack or stroke in the net 5 years.

Relax, Stop looking for trouble. Enjoy life a little more.

1. Time to abandon the weekly visit.
2. Time to say no to SIL.

I would feel quite stressed about this.

If you're going to have that much scheduled togetherness there is always going to be stress - if not this, it will be something else or someone else. The real problem is the visiting schedule.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many bored people, looking for a fight. Also, she is rude because she can't have any more kids and you are going to adopt? If all this is OP, you have issues, seek help. If different pps, so many crazies here.

No she's rude to announce to everyone that I won't be having any more children. No one asked her.

Ok, I didn't get that part, I thought it was something everybody knew. She does sound a bit off, probably having some issues of her own, and your and your DD are caught in it. She does seem to care about your child, and cares a lot, just comes off a bit weird. I think you are way too sensitive though, many people would not even notice all the little things, like who is sitting where, saying this and that. I would have been happy if my sister or SIL decided to sit and help feed my kids when they were that age, so I could eat in peace. Do you think she is saying these things loudly and on purpose to hurt you? Is this how her whole family is, blabber mouths with no censor? If so, maybe you need to decide what you are comfortable with? Playing the game they are playing or letting them know that this game is not ok with you. Clearly even your FIL knows she is a bit over the top with her words, so they might support you if you are more assertive. Good luck.

That's really shitty of her to announce to whomever is around that you won't be able to have any more kids. She sounds like a piece of work.

Yea, you're gonna have to throw an elbow OP.

+1 Step on her feet. Whatever it takes OP

So you act cautious around your SIL from now on. And you don't volunteer one-on-one time with your daughter And you don't discuss with family because you don't further the tendency for drama.

Anonymous wrote:Not to mention, anytime SIL has DD in her arms she will pass her to anyone BUT me if there is someone else around..It's the strangest thing. When she does hand her to me she will ask me if I mind watching her for a moment. I've replied "well she's my kid so umm yes"

I think that you are way way way way overthinking this and sound super defensive for some reason. Do you have some sort of history with her? Are you jealous of her for whatever reason? Your comments sound like things people say when they feel someone is a threat to them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her comment about you not having more kids when she knows you are adopting was definitely rude. The other things I would let slide. She should know better given she already has kid(s) but not worth being upset about, especially if you don't see her very often.

They're Italian. I see DH's family every Sunday.

Oh, Jesus. Some of my extended IL family are like this. You have to stand up for yourself. It doesn't work otherwise.

Yea, you're gonna have to throw an elbow OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her comment about you not having more kids when she knows you are adopting was definitely rude. The other things I would let slide. She should know better given she already has kid(s) but not worth being upset about, especially if you don't see her very often.

They're Italian. I see DH's family every Sunday.

Oh, Jesus. Some of my extended IL family are like this. You have to stand up for yourself. It doesn't work otherwise.

Your SIL has some issues--and you need to stand up for yourself.

"SIL, hand me my daughter." If she protests, "I'm not kidding, now."

"SIL, I'm going to sit next to my daughter." To any protests, "No, I'm going to parent my own child, thanks."

Such BS on your SIL's part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she's jealous you have a little girl. I would try and let this go, nothing she is doing is malicious, its just annoying

And she made such a big deal out of it when DD didn't want to come to me. She told her whole family "She prefers me over Jane". FIL just said "Larla be nice".. I guess I just got my feelings hurt and have been holding on to that. Plus it's recent that I've found out we're not having another bio child so I'm probably just over sensitive.

I'm sorry, op. I dealt with infertility, so I get where you're coming from. I'm also from NY, so I get the whole Italian family, dinner every Sunday thing too. She sounds really annoying, but I think all you can do here is let it go. Soon enough your dd will just want to be off and running with her cousins, and this will settle down. Hugs.

Anonymous wrote:she's jealous you have a little girl. I would try and let this go, nothing she is doing is malicious, its just annoying

And she made such a big deal out of it when DD didn't want to come to me. She told her whole family "She prefers me over Jane". FIL just said "Larla be nice".. I guess I just got my feelings hurt and have been holding on to that. Plus it's recent that I've found out we're not having another bio child so I'm probably just over sensitive.