I'm a mom in a blended family. Maybe I have low standards. But we see each other regularly (my step kids are adults), and we don't fight. I won't say they love me, but they don't hate me. I think this is pretty good, personally. I act more like an aunt who cares about them and wants to see them happy and successful.

However, I also don't post stuff about them on facebook. That's for them to post, if they want.

I was engaged to a woman with two teenagers and I had sole custody of my two pre-teens. She was beautiful, smart and my kids really liked her. But as the engagement went on and we were trying to blend the families I could see how nasty her kids were to her and to my kids. They weren't nasty to me, just cold. I finally cancelled the engagement when it was clear the blended family would be a train wreck. If we are both still single when she becomes an empty nester I wouldn't mind rekindling the relationship. I think blending families can be truly challenging and unless it clicks very early on there is a lot of downside.

I hate when people assume that Facebook posts are fake. When I post happy pictures of our blended family on vacation or candid moments of the kids laughing together, I'm not trying to "prove" anything. This is my family, and I share our moments like an intact family would. I'm sorry that you assume our life is perfect, because it is not, but I don't share any problems on Facebook, no matter what it is.

Anonymous wrote:How do you know any family's happiness on Facebook is genuine? There is a lot of total bullshit on Facebook. Period.

that's true, but there's the whiff of reaction formation when people post "look at our blended family NO PROBLEMS HERE AT ALLLLL!!!"