Anonymous
06/05/2017 22:08
Subject: How do I undo a stupid mistake
Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and and divorced female with a high level job in a large company. At a company event last week I was chatting with a very nice early 30's guy in IT and I told him my home computer was so infected it was running like slow molasses. He offered to help me but since it was an old desk top he offered to come by after work to help me. He was charming and we quickly fell into very light banter that quickly got very flirty. To make a long story short we ended up in bed. I'm now back at work and know that sometime soon we will run into each other. This is not a relationship I want to pursue despite the fact that the sex was great. When we parted we didn't talk about getting together again or anything like that. I'm praying that he won't tell anyone but I can't be sure. Do I say anything to him or just keep my mouth shut? I'm definitely not a one night stand person so I don't know what the rules are or if there are any. I know there would be HR issues if this got out even though we work in very different parts of the company. I know I'm an idiot for doing this so no need to pile on. Just advice, please.
Of course you are. You just did.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 22:06
Subject: How do I undo a stupid mistake
Did you use virus protection?
Anonymous
06/05/2017 22:03
Subject: How do I undo a stupid mistake
I wouldn't worry, OP. It's not like he is someone you supervise-he's in a different department. Hopefully he's a nice guy and will keep his mouth shut. I agree with the PP who advised you to be friendly and professional when you see him-as the PP said, if he mentions anything you can say it was a one time thing, that aside from this incident you've never hooked up with a co-worker and that you hope that he keeps it private.
On a lighter note, the situation sounds kind of hot! As a 44 year old woman, I say good for you
Don't beat yourself up over this-sounds like a fun time overall.
On a lighter note, the situation sounds kind of hot! As a 44 year old woman, I say good for you
Don't beat yourself up over this-sounds like a fun time overall.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 21:35
Subject: Re:How do I undo a stupid mistake
Anonymous wrote:I had to read this several times to see what the problem is.
You had sex with him, it was consensual. He is much younger than you. He isn't interested in a relationship, neither are you. Chances are, he is happy, you are happy, no reason to speak of this. He will go his way, you will go yours. This is really common. Enjoy the memory.
Yeah maybe I'm missing something but I'm not really seeing the issue here, or why HR would even care about two unconnected employees having consensual sex off the clock.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 20:50
Subject: Re:How do I undo a stupid mistake
I had to read this several times to see what the problem is.
You had sex with him, it was consensual. He is much younger than you. He isn't interested in a relationship, neither are you. Chances are, he is happy, you are happy, no reason to speak of this. He will go his way, you will go yours. This is really common. Enjoy the memory.
You had sex with him, it was consensual. He is much younger than you. He isn't interested in a relationship, neither are you. Chances are, he is happy, you are happy, no reason to speak of this. He will go his way, you will go yours. This is really common. Enjoy the memory.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 20:39
Subject: How do I undo a stupid mistake
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and and divorced female with a high level job in a large company. At a company event last week I was chatting with a very nice early 30's guy in IT and I told him my home computer was so infected it was running like slow molasses. He offered to help me but since it was an old desk top he offered to come by after work to help me. He was charming and we quickly fell into very light banter that quickly got very flirty. To make a long story short we ended up in bed. I'm now back at work and know that sometime soon we will run into each other. This is not a relationship I want to pursue despite the fact that the sex was great. When we parted we didn't talk about getting together again or anything like that. I'm praying that he won't tell anyone but I can't be sure. Do I say anything to him or just keep my mouth shut? I'm definitely not a one night stand person so I don't know what the rules are or if there are any. I know there would be HR issues if this got out even though we work in very different parts of the company. I know I'm an idiot for doing this so no need to pile on. Just advice, please.
OP: "I'm definitely not a one night stand person "
The facts would suggest otherwise
OP here - I've only been divorced three months after a 17 year marriage and I hadn't had sex in well over a year. The guy was cute and charming and I was horny. That's not an excuse, just the facts. I'm sure other women have felt the same way.
you do not need to apologize OP. You are single, he is single. You wanted sex and you had consensual and good sex. Good for you!!
Anonymous
06/05/2017 18:38
Subject: How do I undo a stupid mistake
Where is that poster who was inisting that men should never approach or speak to women they don't know and women could just meet and date coworkers easy peasy.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 18:27
Subject: Re:How do I undo a stupid mistake
You can't undo, only resolve to handle it in a certain way in the present as well as how you will handle it in the future.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 18:23
Subject: Re:How do I undo a stupid mistake
Unless the guy is a complete jerk and incredibly stupid he is not going to tell anyone in your company because he could get caught up in a shit storm. Make it business as usual and you should be ok. Yes, you were an idiot to bang the guy but after a long dry period it's understandable. Whatever, it's time you start dating.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 15:25
Subject: Re:How do I undo a stupid mistake
LOL! This reminds me of my own IT story. About 15 years ago when I was single I was in my office and couldn't open a file that had been sent to me. I could barely spell IT so I was clueless on how to open it. I called our service desk and they sent over this really pretty technician to help me out. She leaned over my shoulder and looked at the computer screen and said matter of factly "Oh, you need to unzip!" I looked up at her and said "Isn't that sexual harassment?" She said, "I'm talking about your zip file you idiot, you need to unlock it". We ended up dating for a few months until she took another job in a different city. I did have fun asking her to unzip me on many occasions. We were both single and fairly junior so we never were at risk.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 15:12
Subject: How do I undo a stupid mistake
Anonymous wrote:As a guy who has worked in IT for about 15 years I doubt anyone would even believe him if he started blabbing. The closest I've come to anything related is finding really nasty porn on someone's system.
I actually don't think was a mistake. you were lonely and he was available and willing, chalk it up to a fun experience and move on.
Or do it again.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 15:10
Subject: How do I undo a stupid mistake
As a guy who has worked in IT for about 15 years I doubt anyone would even believe him if he started blabbing. The closest I've come to anything related is finding really nasty porn on someone's system.
I actually don't think was a mistake. you were lonely and he was available and willing, chalk it up to a fun experience and move on.
I actually don't think was a mistake. you were lonely and he was available and willing, chalk it up to a fun experience and move on.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 15:08
Subject: Re:How do I undo a stupid mistake
If the IT guy is anywhere within your chain of command or if you have any direct or even indirect input on his career advancement you could have a real HR problem. If not your only real problem will be embarrassment if people find out about it. That could effect your career prospects from a purely lack of good judgement perspective. Don't communicate with him at all unless it is just business. If you are still horny there are plenty of guys in the area who would be more than willing to help you out.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 14:56
Subject: Re:How do I undo a stupid mistake
Since you will likely run into him at work I would suggest you be friendly but business like the same as you are with other people. Don't be cold, don't be too friendly. Act as though nothing happened. If he brings it up say it was a crazy one time thing that you hope will just be between the two of you. Don't say it was a mistake because that's almost insulting.
Anonymous
06/05/2017 14:47
Subject: How do I undo a stupid mistake
Anonymous wrote:Totally irrelevant but I need to know....how good looking/fit are you?
I would guess she must be good looking and fit enough to attract a 30 year old guy!