Anonymous wrote:I know lots of men are willing to get snipped, but my DH is not one of them. He would prefer for me to have a tubal ligation after I have our final child in a couple of months. My OB says that I 100% should not have more children due to the health risks, and that our only two safe options are tubal ligation and vasectomy. Between these, the OB doesn't understand why DH would ever want to put my body through anything else since tube "tying" is more invasive than a vasectomy, etc.

I shared all of this with DH, who said that my female OB and I "just don't understand how men feel about these things." He then started in on how the incisions wouldn't even be that big for me, etc., so I said we should just talk about it in a couple of weeks. Short of withholding his beloved oral, how can I get him to come around? Have others had success with logic when dealing with so-called "manly men"?

Great idea. Withhold sex to force he to make a life changing decision. Your OB said YOU shouldn't have more kids; not that HE shouldn't have more. Great idea just withhold sex until he leaves you.

Wow - he sounds like a MAJOR asshole!! This would be a HUGE issue for me. Possibly a deal breaker.

Maybe try to find out if any of his friends have had one. Maybe his fears can be calmed if he gets input from another guy. The other guy should say "man up" or something manly like that.

Why are some guys such big f-ing pussies?!?

OP, if you get your tubes tied, your recovery should be followed by a week long vacation, alone, to the destination of your choice.

Anonymous wrote:I would go ahead and get my tubes tied.

And your DH is an ass.

OP here. That is what it is looking like. I brought it up again this morning, and DH pretty much blamed me for even raising it and not being eligible for "easier birth control options." I am pretty annoyed, since it wasn't exactly my idea to have permanent health problems (three vascular surgeries, an above average blood clot risk, and the need to take blood thinners) from bearing our children.

I also think that, putting those issues aside entirely, I did 10+ years of switching from brand to brand of the pill for one that didn't lead to breakthrough bleeding, followed by 5 years that involved 6 IUIs, 3 IVF cycles, and a bunch of FETs. When I said as much, he said "you don't even understand how selfish you sound right now."

If you have to convince him, then he's being a selfish jerk IMO. I am almost on board with the PP who said she would divorce over it.

DH and I had this discussion during my second and final pregnancy. It was looking like I might need a c-section, so it made sense that I would just get the tubal ligation at that time. I was feeling emotional about it though (thanks pregnancy hormones). DH decided to just go ahead and get the vasectomy so I could make my own decision without feeling pressured, considering I had already endured IVF for our first child, a c-section, a second pregnancy, and possibly a second c-section.

I ended up needing to schedule a c-section, so went ahead and authorized the tubal. I went into a labor before the scheduled c-section, so had it earlier, and the doctor forgot to do the tubal.

Needless to say, I'm glad my DH went ahead with the vasectomy because I'm definitely not going back for another procedure.

It doesn't sound like you're even having a c-section, though, so your DH is putting the burden on you to go back and have another procedure postpartum. That is a majorly self-centered, thoughtless move. Wow. I'd be pissed.

Tubal ligation is performed under general anesthesia which even in the healthiest people can lead to stroke, heart attack and any number of complications that will leave your foolish and childish clown without a wife.

Vasectomy is performed with a local anesthetic during a procedure that takes less than five minutes, recovery consists of a weekend on the couch.

Your husband has very weak character, I would seek alternate male influences for your children.

Why would any man not do it? I wanted to be sure we weren't having any more kids so I'm the one that brought it up. Incredibly easy procedure. Had mine done on a Friday, took it easy all weekend, ran a half marathon on Monday. Not one problem, absolutely no swelling and no tenderness.

I would go ahead and get my tubes tied.

And your DH is an ass.

After a vasectomy, there needs to be lots and lots of ejaculations to get to the point where the semen is formally tested. Eyes on the prize, men, eyes on the prize.

I just don't see what the big deal is. In other news, though, there may be a better male form of birth control:

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/men-dont-have-reversible-contraceptive-iud-soon-they-could-180962089/

had one child with wife at age 25. at 27 got snipped. Was not covered by health care. best $700 I ever spent.

I drove home a stick shift pickup truck from my vasectomy. I did it on a Friday on memorial day weekend.

I was in and out of the office in about an hour.

back to work on Tuesday.

yeas i was tender for about a week. After 2 months I was shooting blanks.

bought many brownie points with DW Sex is fairly spontaneous the only reason to wear a condom now is just to contain the mess

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:jesus some of you ladies really are married to selfish dicks. Cut of sex, cold turkey. All sexual activity. His choice.

+1. Options are vasectomy or no sex. His choice.

You mean no sex with her. Sex can be had other places

Anonymous wrote:jesus some of you ladies really are married to selfish dicks. Cut of sex, cold turkey. All sexual activity. His choice.

I assume they are heading their bets in case their second wife wants to have kids. They are such pricks you should give them the chance to find out and leave them. This is unfathomable how selfish they are. DH here who had no problem with it after seeing all wife went thru.

Convince him?? No convincing needed. I pushed babies out of my vagina for God's sake! I shot myself up with fertility drugs, had my blood taken sometimes 2-3 times a week for monitoring...all after taking hormonal birth control for 15 years. He realized all on his own that it was his turn to do something for our family planning.

My brother however, is a total dick and refusing to get one for his wife. I think she should divorce him.

Anonymous wrote:jesus some of you ladies really are married to selfish dicks. Cut of sex, cold turkey. All sexual activity. His choice.

+1. Options are vasectomy or no sex. His choice.