Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH?

Yeah, everything else sounds fine for going for a third, but your ages are a big factor here.

I'm the pp who is 39 (husband is 6 months younger so basically same age). Out of curiosity what would you think would be the cutoff? I feel like we are on the brink (not having another for other additional reasons).

I would avoid being AMA. I would still get pregnant at 34 and deliver at 35, but I can't imagine going beyond that. That's just me, though, I know a lot of people feel differently.

I hear that the day you turn 35, your uterus either spontaneously explodes OR if you're lucky enough that doesn't happen, you give birth to an exploding baby.

Very, very dangerous situation. Avoid at all costs.

You seem awfully defensive about someone else's choice that has nothing to do with you. Too many people mistaking you for the grandma or something?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH?

Yeah, everything else sounds fine for going for a third, but your ages are a big factor here.

I'm the pp who is 39 (husband is 6 months younger so basically same age). Out of curiosity what would you think would be the cutoff? I feel like we are on the brink (not having another for other additional reasons).

I would avoid being AMA. I would still get pregnant at 34 and deliver at 35, but I can't imagine going beyond that. That's just me, though, I know a lot of people feel differently.

I hear that the day you turn 35, your uterus either spontaneously explodes OR if you're lucky enough that doesn't happen, you give birth to an exploding baby.

Very, very dangerous situation. Avoid at all costs.

It's fine if you're comfortable with being AMA and having kids in college when you become eligible for Medicare - I am not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH?

Yeah, everything else sounds fine for going for a third, but your ages are a big factor here.

I'm the pp who is 39 (husband is 6 months younger so basically same age). Out of curiosity what would you think would be the cutoff? I feel like we are on the brink (not having another for other additional reasons).

I would avoid being AMA. I would still get pregnant at 34 and deliver at 35, but I can't imagine going beyond that. That's just me, though, I know a lot of people feel differently.

I hear that the day you turn 35, your uterus either spontaneously explodes OR if you're lucky enough that doesn't happen, you give birth to an exploding baby.

Very, very dangerous situation. Avoid at all costs.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am 34, husband is 33.

And I know we can travel with a baby. Its more that it would be a totally different kind of vacation and I'm not sure I WANT to do that

Then go for it now.

My best friend is the youngest of 3. Her siblings are 6 and 10 years older than she is. She is very close to both of them, but she and her sister (6 years older) are honestly the closest sisters I know outside of twins.

The age gap doesn't matter as much as the personality of the kids.

All the other reasons (being quiet at nap time, can't go to the same movie) seem really silly. If you want a 3rd kid, none of that matters.

In 10 years will you be glad you did it? In 20? In 30?

I'd love to have a 3rd but we can't really afford it. So the choice is made for me in that regard.

OP here. I am 34, husband is 33.

And I know we can travel with a baby. Its more that it would be a totally different kind of vacation and I'm not sure I WANT to do that

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH?

Yeah, everything else sounds fine for going for a third, but your ages are a big factor here.

I'm the pp who is 39 (husband is 6 months younger so basically same age). Out of curiosity what would you think would be the cutoff? I feel like we are on the brink (not having another for other additional reasons).

I would avoid being AMA. I would still get pregnant at 34 and deliver at 35, but I can't imagine going beyond that. That's just me, though, I know a lot of people feel differently.

I used to think that way too (I'm the pp who's 39, my kids were born at 33 and 35). That said, 35 is SO arbitrary. As my OB said when we were debating spacing between kids - "you won't be 25 with your next kid, and you won't be 45. 33 vs 35 vs 37 isn't really that big a deal."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH?

Yeah, everything else sounds fine for going for a third, but your ages are a big factor here.

I'm the pp who is 39 (husband is 6 months younger so basically same age). Out of curiosity what would you think would be the cutoff? I feel like we are on the brink (not having another for other additional reasons).

I would avoid being AMA. I would still get pregnant at 34 and deliver at 35, but I can't imagine going beyond that. That's just me, though, I know a lot of people feel differently.

Anonymous wrote:So we have two boys who are 5 and 7. My husband and I have a great marriage. We are financially stable. Part of me is so glad to be out of the baby/toddler stage but the other part of me can't shake he feeling that we need one more.

I was looking forward to making some bigger trips in the next couple years as a family (maybe Europe) but obviously we couldn't do that type of stuff with a baby.

This feeling just won't go away and I feel like if we don't have one we are going to regret it.

For the record, my husband wants another one even more than me I think.

I just really don't know if I can do the baby stage again. My children were terrible sleepers and didn't sleep through the night until around two years old.

Thoughts? Is it too large of an age gap?

First of all, I traveled a fair amount with a baby. She was a decent sleeper, and it definitely changed the way we traveled, but you can still go to Europe with a baby. I did at 4, 12 and 17 months!

If you feel like you'll regret not having a 3rd child, game out what life looks like for you with a 3rd child. Imagine scenarios in which your child is a good sleeper and scenarios in which your child is a terrible sleeper.

I am pregnant with my second. My first is 7. There have definitely been times during this pregnancy when I've thought that I must be crazy to dive into the rabbit hole again, since DD1 is now at the point where she can do things like deal with her own toilet stuff, get dressed for school on her own, and even to an extent acquire/make her own food. Yesterday for Mother's Day, for example, I took a bath and she reheated something for herself for lunch in the microwave. That would never have happened 2 years ago, and I would not even have been able to imagine it 4 years ago. When I feel overwhelmed by the newborn phase coming back, I remind myself that, at the very least, I have an older child who CAN take care of her own business in a lot of ways, so it's not like I'm doubling my already too-heavy workload.

At the end of the day, if you want it, then go for it!

Anonymous wrote:As the friend of several families with three children, I'd say don't do it. It will be an 8-9 year gap between the oldest & youngest making it virtually impossible to find activities that work well for everyone. For example, (kids are 12, 10, 5) can't even all go to the same movie. They generally spend the weekends split up, one parent with older kids, one with the younger.

That's a pretty limiting view of family life. My two kids are 6 years apart. Are there challenges for us as parents? Yes, but probably no more than if they were 2 years apart (which always struck me as very difficult, at least early on). Will it matter when they're adults? No! My siblings are 3, 7, and 10 years older than I am. As adults, I'm closest to the 2 oldest ones. As children, we had many all-family experiences and many split-into-2-groups experiences. I also loved when my older siblings babysat for us. Think outside the 2-kids-2-years-apart box and do what sounds best for your family, OP.

Yes, I would do it if you both want a third. Age gaps are perfect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH?

Yeah, everything else sounds fine for going for a third, but your ages are a big factor here.

I'm the pp who is 39 (husband is 6 months younger so basically same age). Out of curiosity what would you think would be the cutoff? I feel like we are on the brink (not having another for other additional reasons).

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH?

Yeah, everything else sounds fine for going for a third, but your ages are a big factor here.

How old are you and DH?

No