Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tacky. When my grandmother died, my cousin posted it on FB before my dad could tell me.

I'm sorry, pp, that's awful. A cousin did that when a shared uncle passed away. Facebook is not how one should find out about the death of a family member.

When my dad died we made all the calls we needed to, and then a few days later my sister and I put it on Facebook at the same time by linking to the published obituary. I didn't want anyone close to him finding out online.

But how do you stop someone from doing this, especially someone younger who doesnt understand how tagging works? The younger generations are growing up with fb and social media so this is the norm for them while it is weird for the older crowd. It's how they communicate.

I do think it seems insensitive, is it that important to comment?

Anonymous wrote:Tacky. When my grandmother died, my cousin posted it on FB before my dad could tell me.

I'm sorry, pp, that's awful. A cousin did that when a shared uncle passed away. Facebook is not how one should find out about the death of a family member.

When my dad died we made all the calls we needed to, and then a few days later my sister and I put it on Facebook at the same time by linking to the published obituary. I didn't want anyone close to him finding out online.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow that's awful. She's obviously an idiot.

+ 100

People like you are such judgmental dicks.

No, she's not an idiot. She said something that she probably didn't realize how it sounded. Insensitive but unintentionally so. People often say stupid things like this, knowing not what to say or reacting out of emotion.

You've never put your foot in your mouth?

The grossest FB "loss" comment was when a coworker announced how shocked and sad she was to hear of the sudden passing of a colleague and she TAGGED him so it ended up in his newsfeed. She hardly knew him and it seemed very attention seeking, as well as wildly inappropriate because his family had not made an announcement on Facebook. She had no way of knowing if they had successfully contacted family and close friends before she did it. It was so self centered and thoughtless.

In my experience, there's one key phrase that helps deal with all the well-wishers during your grief: "people mean well." People say the strangest things when someone dies. A member of my immediate family committed suicide, and people said the most widly inappropriate things, almost always from a place of good intentions. People mean well.

Tacky. When my grandmother died, my cousin posted it on FB before my dad could tell me.

Anonymous wrote:1. Facebook is not an appropriate place for messages of grief like this

2. the comment is a very young person's comment - self referential.

3. Getting bent out of shape about comments like this is just misdirected grief.

Maybe 20 years ago fb would've been an inappropriate place for expressing grief but it is 2017. There are apps for funeral home guest books. Get with the times.

It's insensitive. The person sounds rather clueless.

Perhaps the person who commented will one day learn to rephrase things such as 06:42 phrased it.