Anonymous
Post 05/09/2017 17:27     Subject: Which would you choose ?
Anonymous wrote:We currently own a home which is slightly too small for our family as the kids are getting older. We're considering buying a slightly larger home which is significantly more expensive but our dream house of sorts. We'd still be able to save for retirement and college for the kids. We wouldn't be able to do private school, country club, or trust funds for the kids. I realize we're very lucky and this is a good problem to have but still a difficult decision. Middle of the road option is to buy a less expensive house but there isn't any great ones on the market and we risk having to change our kids elementary schools.
Any thoughts or words of wisdom ?


I personally would drop the country club and maybe get the middle of the road house. Is your house too small in that it doesn't have enough bedrooms or is the square footage just not to your liking? I don't think the dream home is worth losing the flexibility to deal with other things that may come up as your children age. What if one of your kids turns out to be a tennis prodigy and needs to go to one of those tennis schools in Florida? What if one of them gets bullied in public school? Wouldn't having the flexibility to send them to private school be better than having a bigger yard?
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2017 14:05     Subject: Which would you choose ?
Anonymous wrote:Where are you looking at houses around here where you can't get what you want for less than 2.5 million and a 1.6 million dollar house would need to be "gutted" to make it livable. I just don't understand at all.


Op here - it's not the D.C. Real estate market. Suburb of nyc
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2017 11:57     Subject: Re:Which would you choose ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stay put. Definitely. I don't understand 45 year olds taking on massive 30 year mortgages. It just doesn't make financial sense. By that age you should be halfway through a mortgage not starting a 30 year.


45 isn't exactly old. If you bought your home 15 or 20 years ago, you likely have equity that you can use as a down payment. That's how people wind up "moving up" into a more roomy house while keeping expenses roughly the same. You can also make extra mortgage payments to pay your home off early.

When we bought our bigger house we anticipated having kids in the house (or at least coming home from college for summers and breaks) for the next 10 years or so. As long as you see yourself in the house for a while and really could use the extra space I would consider it. Of course, weigh the pros and cons of your own situation. What works well for some may not work so well for you.


Hmm I think it is pretty old. I'm 40 and there is no way I would want to take on a new mortgage in 5 years even though we have about $1 million in equity I could put towards it. I'd rather retire comfortably and early enough to actually enjoy it.


Well if the only people who can "afford" the larger houses are people under 40 then maybe you just do not believe in ever owning a larger home. That's you and that's fine.

Personally, I am enjoying having a little extra space now.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2017 11:21     Subject: Which would you choose ?
Where are you looking at houses around here where you can't get what you want for less than 2.5 million and a 1.6 million dollar house would need to be "gutted" to make it livable. I just don't understand at all.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2017 10:53     Subject: Re:Which would you choose ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stay put. Definitely. I don't understand 45 year olds taking on massive 30 year mortgages. It just doesn't make financial sense. By that age you should be halfway through a mortgage not starting a 30 year.


45 isn't exactly old. If you bought your home 15 or 20 years ago, you likely have equity that you can use as a down payment. That's how people wind up "moving up" into a more roomy house while keeping expenses roughly the same. You can also make extra mortgage payments to pay your home off early.

When we bought our bigger house we anticipated having kids in the house (or at least coming home from college for summers and breaks) for the next 10 years or so. As long as you see yourself in the house for a while and really could use the extra space I would consider it. Of course, weigh the pros and cons of your own situation. What works well for some may not work so well for you.


Hmm I think it is pretty old. I'm 40 and there is no way I would want to take on a new mortgage in 5 years even though we have about $1 million in equity I could put towards it. I'd rather retire comfortably and early enough to actually enjoy it.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2017 08:06     Subject: Re:Which would you choose ?
Anonymous wrote:I was fortunate that my parents paid for my college. I took out loans for grad school, which is normal. My parents could have paid for my entire education if they didn't buy their "deem" home later in life. I would have really appreciated that boost and wouldn't have felt sad to have them still living in the house I grew up in even though it was smaller and not as nice. If you're able to and willing to help your kids in the way you said, stay in the current house.


So you resent them for living their life and spending their own money? Even though they were already generous and paid for your undergraduate degree?? Yeesh
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2017 07:44     Subject: Re:Which would you choose ?
Anonymous wrote:Stay put. Definitely. I don't understand 45 year olds taking on massive 30 year mortgages. It just doesn't make financial sense. By that age you should be halfway through a mortgage not starting a 30 year.


45 isn't exactly old. If you bought your home 15 or 20 years ago, you likely have equity that you can use as a down payment. That's how people wind up "moving up" into a more roomy house while keeping expenses roughly the same. You can also make extra mortgage payments to pay your home off early.

When we bought our bigger house we anticipated having kids in the house (or at least coming home from college for summers and breaks) for the next 10 years or so. As long as you see yourself in the house for a while and really could use the extra space I would consider it. Of course, weigh the pros and cons of your own situation. What works well for some may not work so well for you.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2017 07:27     Subject: Which would you choose ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We currently own a home which is slightly too small for our family as the kids are getting older. We're considering buying a slightly larger home which is significantly more expensive but our dream house of sorts. We'd still be able to save for retirement and college for the kids. We wouldn't be able to do private school, country club, or trust funds for the kids. I realize we're very lucky and this is a good problem to have but still a difficult decision. Middle of the road option is to buy a less expensive house but there isn't any great ones on the market and we risk having to change our kids elementary schools.
Any thoughts or words of wisdom ?


I'm confused. Are your kids in private or public schools?


Op - They're in public but there are several different elementary schools in our district. Middle of the road options are houses that aren't updated - typically need new kitchen and sooner rather than later will need new roof/heating/cooling etc..


Okay but a new kitchen, roof, HVAC, even "etc" doesn't add up to 1.5M. I would never in a million years do what you're considering, but it's pretty inexplicable so the real reason you want to do it must be something you're not sharing. The difference between not worrying about money at all, under any circumstances (private schools, country club[!], trust funds[!!!]) to possibly stressing about your kids' education if you think they'd do better in private once you hit MS/HS, just for a bigger house and/or to avoid renovating a kitchen at a different house ... I just can't understand the reasoning. Which makes me think there's more to this decision than we at DCUM are privy to.


Op here - sorry, I should have clarified. A house on a nice lot will around cost 1.6 million if it needs to be gutted (new systems, bathrooms, kitchen, roof, siding). A house that only needs maybe a new kitchen and sooner rather than later roof etc is in the 2mil range. For 2.5m we could get the nice lot with a house all done and energy efficient.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 21:19     Subject: Which would you choose ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We currently own a home which is slightly too small for our family as the kids are getting older. We're considering buying a slightly larger home which is significantly more expensive but our dream house of sorts. We'd still be able to save for retirement and college for the kids. We wouldn't be able to do private school, country club, or trust funds for the kids. I realize we're very lucky and this is a good problem to have but still a difficult decision. Middle of the road option is to buy a less expensive house but there isn't any great ones on the market and we risk having to change our kids elementary schools.
Any thoughts or words of wisdom ?


I'm confused. Are your kids in private or public schools?


Op - They're in public but there are several different elementary schools in our district. Middle of the road options are houses that aren't updated - typically need new kitchen and sooner rather than later will need new roof/heating/cooling etc..


Okay but a new kitchen, roof, HVAC, even "etc" doesn't add up to 1.5M. I would never in a million years do what you're considering, but it's pretty inexplicable so the real reason you want to do it must be something you're not sharing. The difference between not worrying about money at all, under any circumstances (private schools, country club[!], trust funds[!!!]) to possibly stressing about your kids' education if you think they'd do better in private once you hit MS/HS, just for a bigger house and/or to avoid renovating a kitchen at a different house ... I just can't understand the reasoning. Which makes me think there's more to this decision than we at DCUM are privy to.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 21:15     Subject: Re:Which would you choose ?
Stay put. Definitely. I don't understand 45 year olds taking on massive 30 year mortgages. It just doesn't make financial sense. By that age you should be halfway through a mortgage not starting a 30 year.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 21:06     Subject: Re:Which would you choose ?
"Dream"
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 21:05     Subject: Re:Which would you choose ?
I was fortunate that my parents paid for my college. I took out loans for grad school, which is normal. My parents could have paid for my entire education if they didn't buy their "deem" home later in life. I would have really appreciated that boost and wouldn't have felt sad to have them still living in the house I grew up in even though it was smaller and not as nice. If you're able to and willing to help your kids in the way you said, stay in the current house.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 20:05     Subject: Which would you choose ?
I would never give up the family home in Italy, a exemplary education for my children, or the family trust.
We don't waste money on a club.
If eliminating the membership gets you into a better home, I say go for it.
The rest wouldn't be negotiable for me.
froggymom
Post 05/08/2017 19:40     Subject: Re:Which would you choose ?
Sorry, I can't advise you on this. I might suggest you make a pro and con list for the options. I will say a prayer for you that God give you the guidance you seek.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 17:49     Subject: Which would you choose ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We currently own a home which is slightly too small for our family as the kids are getting older. We're considering buying a slightly larger home which is significantly more expensive but our dream house of sorts. We'd still be able to save for retirement and college for the kids. We wouldn't be able to do private school, country club, or trust funds for the kids. I realize we're very lucky and this is a good problem to have but still a difficult decision. Middle of the road option is to buy a less expensive house but there isn't any great ones on the market and we risk having to change our kids elementary schools.
Any thoughts or words of wisdom ?


I'm confused. Are your kids in private or public schools?


Op - They're in public but there are several different elementary schools in our district. Middle of the road options are houses that aren't updated - typically need new kitchen and sooner rather than later will need new roof/heating/cooling etc..