Anonymous
05/02/2017 13:07
Subject: Re:Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Anonymous wrote:Have you tried dating lots of different "types"?
I've been married over 20 years, and if I'd written a list of things I was looking for in a mate, my husband wouldn't have matched even half the things on my list. But he's perfect for me.
As far as different types I have dated tall and short, introverted and extroverted.
I am weary of meeting church men cause it can be a catty competition with other women whom want to settle down
Thanks yall for the honest feedback. Ill chill with expressing the settle down part...
Anonymous
05/02/2017 13:05
Subject: Re:Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Is your problem meeting men? Then you should absolutely continue to do online dating, that is the place to be once you are no longer in an environment with many single people (like college).
Second, men appear to be visual (big revelation I know
), are you as attractive as you can be to your target audience?
Lastly, I hear many white men confessing that they find black women attractive (in a sincere way, not some crazy fetish) but are afraid to approach. Again, this can be solved with OLD.
Good luck OP!
Second, men appear to be visual (big revelation I know
), are you as attractive as you can be to your target audience?
Lastly, I hear many white men confessing that they find black women attractive (in a sincere way, not some crazy fetish) but are afraid to approach. Again, this can be solved with OLD.
Good luck OP!
Anonymous
05/02/2017 13:03
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't express wanting to settle down early.
I have heard this....why is this a kiss of death?
Not the kiss of death but a red flag very often that implies other things if brought up too soon. It implies a hole that you're looking to fill, instead of accepting the process and wanting to share a life because of a bond that you can only really discover without pressure. you can be open to commitment without having a timeline.
I like you OP, you will probably see what you're hoping for sooner than you think.
I never thought of that....thanks for that perspective.
Anonymous
05/02/2017 13:00
Subject: Re:Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Have you tried dating lots of different "types"?
I've been married over 20 years, and if I'd written a list of things I was looking for in a mate, my husband wouldn't have matched even half the things on my list. But he's perfect for me.
I've been married over 20 years, and if I'd written a list of things I was looking for in a mate, my husband wouldn't have matched even half the things on my list. But he's perfect for me.
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:56
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Anonymous wrote:Hello, I am a 28 yr Old Af Am woman tired to the dating scene want wants a quality partner. I want honest feedback from happpily married ppl on what i am doing wrong
Details
28 years old
Security Engineer with a Masters
Slim hourglass build (recently lost 25 pounds)
Natural hair, brown skin, white straight teeth,
Dress stylish, gym 4x a week, get manis/pedis/do masks
Interests: hiking, working out, festivals, cooking, travel
Dating details
- have usually dated men in 30s who are same ethnicity
- express wanting to settle down early
-they seem on board, but relationships die, had sex with some, some I didnt
-a few had sex too early
-I have tried online, but prefer in person
- have been told I should come off warmer and open minded
Right now I am trying to open up more and be as social I can be within my busy schedule. I would really appreciate some hard, honest feedback
This might be a good time to sit down and discuss your situation with your landlord. Trust me on this one!
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:56
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
What's wrong with asking someone out?
As a woman, if I really like someone and want to spend more time with him, there's no way I would wait for him to ask. Life is too short.
As a woman, if I really like someone and want to spend more time with him, there's no way I would wait for him to ask. Life is too short.
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:51
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Anonymous wrote:I'll second that if religion is important for you , you should try finding church groups, religion-oriented social groups, etc. It's also just a nice way to grow your social circle, make new friends, etc.
That sounds like fine advice, but just note there are slim pickings in terms of young AA men who are regular church goers. I just never encountered many. I also preferred dating AA men (although open to other races/ethnicities, never dated any) when I was single. I'm a 30-something AA woman who grew up Christian in the South , but ended up marrying a black immigrant who is not Christian, but was a great match in other ways. There were some things I refused to compromise on (level of education, gainfully employed, ambitious, a kind person, intelligent, etc.), but for some things, it pays to be a bit more open-minded.
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:51
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
You don't have to "ask him out." You can just ask him if he is interested in some non-threatening activity that isn't automatically associated with a date. Or you can do the conspicuous "So... any plans for the weekend?" routine in a way that opens things up for him to ask you out if he's interested.
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:49
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Anonymous wrote:Hello, I am a 28 yr Old Af Am woman tired to the dating scene want wants a quality partner. I want honest feedback from happpily married ppl on what i am doing wrong
Details
28 years old
Security Engineer with a Masters
Slim hourglass build (recently lost 25 pounds)
Natural hair, brown skin, white straight teeth,
Dress stylish, gym 4x a week, get manis/pedis/do masks
Interests: hiking, working out, festivals, cooking, travel
Dating details
- have usually dated men in 30s who are same ethnicity
- express wanting to settle down early
-they seem on board, but relationships die, had sex with some, some I didnt
-a few had sex too early
-I have tried online, but prefer in person
- have been told I should come off warmer and open minded
Right now I am trying to open up more and be as social I can be within my busy schedule. I would really appreciate some hard, honest feedback
NO, NO, NO. Never do that
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:39
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
I'll second that if religion is important for you , you should try finding church groups, religion-oriented social groups, etc. It's also just a nice way to grow your social circle, make new friends, etc.
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:39
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hello, I am a 28 yr Old Af Am woman tired to the dating scene want wants a quality partner. I want honest feedback from happpily married ppl on what i am doing wrong
Details
28 years old
Security Engineer with a Masters
Slim hourglass build (recently lost 25 pounds)
Natural hair, brown skin, white straight teeth,
Dress stylish, gym 4x a week, get manis/pedis/do masks
Interests: hiking, working out, festivals, cooking, travel
Dating details
- have usually dated men in 30s who are same ethnicity
- express wanting to settle down early
-they seem on board, but relationships die, had sex with some, some I didnt
-a few had sex too early
-I have tried online, but prefer in person
- have been told I should come off warmer and open minded
Right now I am trying to open up more and be as social I can be within my busy schedule. I would really appreciate some hard, honest feedback
When you are dating someone with the same ethnicity, are they more traditional or Americanized? Your post sounds like you are more Americanized which makes it tougher to meet in person because they don't all congregate at similar places. Maybe check with organized/structured activities such as hiking, kayaking, cooking to see if you can catch someone's eye. Are you opposed to hitting on a guy?
I am not opposed, but I have heard to makes women look to forward. and that men are wired to go for what they want.
I just started joining meetups and more networking.
You should throw this line of thinking out. I'm not saying to aggressively hunt men down. But some women advocate this advice to the point of not even talking to a guy first. If every woman followed this advice, there'd be a lot more single people.
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:38
Subject: Re:Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Definitely try to be more open and friendly
Definitely look outside your ethnicity
Definitely look outside your ethnicity
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:35
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't express wanting to settle down early.
I have heard this....why is this a kiss of death?
Not the kiss of death but a red flag very often that implies other things if brought up too soon. It implies a hole that you're looking to fill, instead of accepting the process and wanting to share a life because of a bond that you can only really discover without pressure. you can be open to commitment without having a timeline.
I like you OP, you will probably see what you're hoping for sooner than you think.
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:33
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
You sound great! Work on the guardedness/warmth.
Since you prefer meeting in person to online, I'd say try a combo of both. Have you done Meetup.com? There are plenty of groups very relevant to your interests. Join a hiking one. There are some just for singles, but even those that aren't specific to relationship status will have plenty of singles. You can do something you enjoy while meeting in-shape people in a low-pressure setting.
For culture specific things, I'm not going to be as open as I would in a different setting. I will say if you want marriage and are attracted to men of other ethnicities, you'll up your odds of marriage if you open up the pool.
I would also say perhaps check to make sure "slim hourglass" actually means that, since I know culturally, we tend to think large is smaller than it actually is.
Good luck!
Since you prefer meeting in person to online, I'd say try a combo of both. Have you done Meetup.com? There are plenty of groups very relevant to your interests. Join a hiking one. There are some just for singles, but even those that aren't specific to relationship status will have plenty of singles. You can do something you enjoy while meeting in-shape people in a low-pressure setting.
For culture specific things, I'm not going to be as open as I would in a different setting. I will say if you want marriage and are attracted to men of other ethnicities, you'll up your odds of marriage if you open up the pool.
I would also say perhaps check to make sure "slim hourglass" actually means that, since I know culturally, we tend to think large is smaller than it actually is.
Good luck!
Anonymous
05/02/2017 12:33
Subject: Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hello, I am a 28 yr Old Af Am woman tired to the dating scene want wants a quality partner. I want honest feedback from happpily married ppl on what i am doing wrong
Details
28 years old
Security Engineer with a Masters
Slim hourglass build (recently lost 25 pounds)
Natural hair, brown skin, white straight teeth,
Dress stylish, gym 4x a week, get manis/pedis/do masks
Interests: hiking, working out, festivals, cooking, travel
Dating details
- have usually dated men in 30s who are same ethnicity
- express wanting to settle down early
-they seem on board, but relationships die, had sex with some, some I didnt
-a few had sex too early
-I have tried online, but prefer in person
- have been told I should come off warmer and open minded
Right now I am trying to open up more and be as social I can be within my busy schedule. I would really appreciate some hard, honest feedback
When you are dating someone with the same ethnicity, are they more traditional or Americanized? Your post sounds like you are more Americanized which makes it tougher to meet in person because they don't all congregate at similar places. Maybe check with organized/structured activities such as hiking, kayaking, cooking to see if you can catch someone's eye. Are you opposed to hitting on a guy?
I am not opposed, but I have heard to makes women look to forward. and that men are wired to go for what they want.
I just started joining meetups and more networking.