Anonymous
04/29/2017 18:54
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:It's a numbers game. Getting yourself out there helps. I was 40, single, childless, resigned to remaining so until Mr. Right appeared out of the blue. You never know.
Where did you meet him?
Anonymous
04/29/2017 18:03
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
It's a numbers game. Getting yourself out there helps. I was 40, single, childless, resigned to remaining so until Mr. Right appeared out of the blue. You never know.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 17:41
Subject: Re:Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:I am an early 40s female, separated since last May. There is a part of me that would love to go out and have some fun. However I was at a store the other day and saw this nice looking man checking me out. He seemed to be waiting for some hint that it was ok to approach me. I started to panic and almost wanted to bolt = def. not ready to date
I've had this happen too. At the grocery store. I pretty much hid until I saw him leaving. I'm such a wuss. He was a really good looking guy, too. As much a as I loathe the idea of online dating and say how much I'd love to meet someone in real life, when given an opportunity I panic!
Anonymous
04/29/2017 17:34
Subject: Re:Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:I am an early 40s female, separated since last May. There is a part of me that would love to go out and have some fun. However I was at a store the other day and saw this nice looking man checking me out. He seemed to be waiting for some hint that it was ok to approach me. I started to panic and almost wanted to bolt = def. not ready to date
You should of just asked if wanted to watch some Netflix and chill.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 16:38
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
I have found it tough to find someone I actually like. Lots of OK dates, but not a real connection. I'm average looking and thin. I don't have high standards for income, and am not especially picky about looks. But I really want someone intelligent and considerate that has common interests and values with me, and I'm willing to be alone until and unless I find that person.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 15:44
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:
I had to grieve the loss of my marriage. I had to come to terms with the fact it was over and accept that fact. It was a very difficult mutual decision to split but one my ex almost immediately moved on from which was a big blow to my self esteem. I had to get over the feeling of rejection and not being wanted. I also had to learn how to be alone. I needed to figure out who I was as an individual as opposed to half of a partnership. You do tend to lose yourself after so many years sharing your life with another person.
I dated someone casually for a few months who was a really great guy- kind, funny, genuine and attractive (no, for whoever is bound to ask, he didn't make over $150k). I felt nothing for him. I enjoyed his company, yes, but I just couldn't muster up one little bit of emotional attachment. It was almost like I was emotionally dead inside and literally not able to develop any feelings whatsoever. That's when I really knew I wasn't ready.
Very insightful post, you sound like a good person in a difficult situation. I hope you find some inner peace and strength to move on, you deserve it.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 15:42
Subject: Re:Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
I am an early 40s female, separated since last May. There is a part of me that would love to go out and have some fun. However I was at a store the other day and saw this nice looking man checking me out. He seemed to be waiting for some hint that it was ok to approach me. I started to panic and almost wanted to bolt = def. not ready to date 
Anonymous
04/29/2017 15:41
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:
Your personality will dictate about 70% of success, overall attitude and expectations about 15%, looks about 15%.
BINGO! And by personality that means how picky you are as if you are the type of woman who gets pickier as she gets older, you're gonna end up in spinsterhood unless you are relatively attractive. And remember, looks fade.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 15:40
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Get a vibrator and stay home.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 15:40
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:DCUm, tell me how is the dating scene in NOVA for a 40yr old divorced mom? I'm separated, haven't dated in years (duh!) so I have no idea how it is to meet a nice man in this area.
Depends on how attractive you are. You should post a photo so we can judge for ourselves and that will help us give you a more accurate answer.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 15:00
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I can provide some insight, also separated after 20 years with my ex. Aside from scheduling issues with 50/50 custody dating has been easier that I thought. Unfortunately online is the easiest way to meet people. I used Bumble until I found a FWB (all I was looking for) then deleted my account. I liked Bumble because I felt a lot more in control of my interactions than other options. It is exhausting but if you want to devote the time you could interact with several different men per day. You have to have thick skin and there are some weirdos out there.
I'm an average looking woman with a few pounds to lose and I've had no issues finding people to date.. I'm also comfortable in my own skin, Im a genuinely happy person and I love myself.
The main suggestion I have is to make sure you are healed from the dissolution of your marriage before you try to date. My ex started dating two seconds after we split so I thought I needed to compete and jumped into the dating world. Way too soon. It was a disaster on so many levels and I did meet a few guys who would be great if I had met them when I was ready.
Can you elaborate on why you weren't ready ?
I had to grieve the loss of my marriage. I had to come to terms with the fact it was over and accept that fact. It was a very difficult mutual decision to split but one my ex almost immediately moved on from which was a big blow to my self esteem. I had to get over the feeling of rejection and not being wanted. I also had to learn how to be alone. I needed to figure out who I was as an individual as opposed to half of a partnership. You do tend to lose yourself after so many years sharing your life with another person.
I dated someone casually for a few months who was a really great guy- kind, funny, genuine and attractive (no, for whoever is bound to ask, he didn't make over $150k). I felt nothing for him. I enjoyed his company, yes, but I just couldn't muster up one little bit of emotional attachment. It was almost like I was emotionally dead inside and literally not able to develop any feelings whatsoever. That's when I really knew I wasn't ready.
Thanks for that, it's insightful because that was my experience.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 14:26
Subject: Re:Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
I'm in about the same situation and told myself no dating for a year then I'd start looking on line. Instead after ten months I met a great guy at my DS soccer game and we've been dating about six months. There is an emotional attachment but neither of us wants to rush into anything long term. Our kids get along but it's way too soon to think about all of us under one roof.
Lonely_Sojourner
04/29/2017 14:21
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DCUm, tell me how is the dating scene in NOVA for a 40yr old divorced mom? I'm separated, haven't dated in years (duh!) so I have no idea how it is to meet a nice man in this area.
Your personality will dictate about 70% of success, overall attitude and expectations about 15%, looks about 15%.
+1 Completely concur!! A great personality and attitude are #1 in my book. What goods are looks if you can't communicate or have little to no chemistry. Great advice from a PP on the approach to dating - "treat it as a marathon, not a sprint!!"
LS
Anonymous
04/29/2017 14:03
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
If you are not fat, you will be fine.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 13:21
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I can provide some insight, also separated after 20 years with my ex. Aside from scheduling issues with 50/50 custody dating has been easier that I thought. Unfortunately online is the easiest way to meet people. I used Bumble until I found a FWB (all I was looking for) then deleted my account. I liked Bumble because I felt a lot more in control of my interactions than other options. It is exhausting but if you want to devote the time you could interact with several different men per day. You have to have thick skin and there are some weirdos out there.
I'm an average looking woman with a few pounds to lose and I've had no issues finding people to date.. I'm also comfortable in my own skin, Im a genuinely happy person and I love myself.
The main suggestion I have is to make sure you are healed from the dissolution of your marriage before you try to date. My ex started dating two seconds after we split so I thought I needed to compete and jumped into the dating world. Way too soon. It was a disaster on so many levels and I did meet a few guys who would be great if I had met them when I was ready.
Can you elaborate on why you weren't ready ?
I had to grieve the loss of my marriage. I had to come to terms with the fact it was over and accept that fact. It was a very difficult mutual decision to split but one my ex almost immediately moved on from which was a big blow to my self esteem. I had to get over the feeling of rejection and not being wanted. I also had to learn how to be alone. I needed to figure out who I was as an individual as opposed to half of a partnership. You do tend to lose yourself after so many years sharing your life with another person.
I dated someone casually for a few months who was a really great guy- kind, funny, genuine and attractive (no, for whoever is bound to ask, he didn't make over $150k). I felt nothing for him. I enjoyed his company, yes, but I just couldn't muster up one little bit of emotional attachment. It was almost like I was emotionally dead inside and literally not able to develop any feelings whatsoever. That's when I really knew I wasn't ready.