Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family good was expected. You only got comments if you did something wrong. This is my normal and I have a hard time recalling that many people thrive on praise....in the workplace I have trained myself to offer praise but it is not natural for me at all.

My husband's family is like this. You only hear feedback if you f--- up because excellence is the expected as the default. It's the complete opposite of my family and I'm still not used to it after being married for many years. Maybe it's an Asian thing, I don't know.

It is Russian thing as well.

+1

Swedish thing, too.

OP, to answer your question: insecure people can't dole out compliments freely. They think it is "frivolous". LOL. You do you - I would bet you are much happier (and more secure).

So all the above cultures are insecure?

Not necessarily. Some cultures are less prone to acclimating than others ("close enough" LOL). Insecurity may be more rampant than cultural differences, they are independent of each other, but worth a consideration.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family good was expected. You only got comments if you did something wrong. This is my normal and I have a hard time recalling that many people thrive on praise....in the workplace I have trained myself to offer praise but it is not natural for me at all.

My husband's family is like this. You only hear feedback if you f--- up because excellence is the expected as the default. It's the complete opposite of my family and I'm still not used to it after being married for many years. Maybe it's an Asian thing, I don't know.

It is Russian thing as well.

+1

Swedish thing, too.

OP, to answer your question: insecure people can't dole out compliments freely. They think it is "frivolous". LOL. You do you - I would bet you are much happier (and more secure).

So all the above cultures are insecure?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family good was expected. You only got comments if you did something wrong. This is my normal and I have a hard time recalling that many people thrive on praise....in the workplace I have trained myself to offer praise but it is not natural for me at all.

My husband's family is like this. You only hear feedback if you f--- up because excellence is the expected as the default. It's the complete opposite of my family and I'm still not used to it after being married for many years. Maybe it's an Asian thing, I don't know.

It is Russian thing as well.

+1

Swedish thing, too.

OP, to answer your question: insecure people can't dole out compliments freely. They think it is "frivolous". LOL. You do you - I would bet you are much happier (and more secure).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family good was expected. You only got comments if you did something wrong. This is my normal and I have a hard time recalling that many people thrive on praise....in the workplace I have trained myself to offer praise but it is not natural for me at all.

My husband's family is like this. You only hear feedback if you f--- up because excellence is the expected as the default. It's the complete opposite of my family and I'm still not used to it after being married for many years. Maybe it's an Asian thing, I don't know.

It is Russian thing as well.

I have to nudge myself to give compliments because I forget that some adults need them. I'm older, and I just expect people to know they did a good job and take enough satisfaction in that knowledge.

If someone gives me a compliment, I know to say "Thank you."

Anonymous wrote:I think most people don't give compliments much, if ever, to other adults. That's pretty normal.

I never went around as an adult feeling people should be complimenting me. I'm from an older generation, before kids were complimented for every little ridiculous thing.

I do believe in putting positive energy out there. I've learned to do this over the years, and I freely acknowledge and compliment the positives about people. It's amazing how many people actually get emotional and say, "No one ever said that to me. Thank you!"

Agree with this part! I always had to hear from other people compliment me or say something negative about me from other people. Why can't people just get a backbone and say it straight to your face? Women are the worst at this and some men. Women cant even compliment your hair instead they copy your hairstyle and color but never say anything nice to you. In the workplace its the same. I get called very smart and hardworking or other compliments that people told to people and Ihave to hear it from a third person! its ridiculous. I say what I feel and when I actually receive a good compliment from an honest person I tear up. Can;t help it.

I am quite shy so don't find it easy giving compliments or taking them.

I think most people don't give compliments much, if ever, to other adults. That's pretty normal.

I never went around as an adult feeling people should be complimenting me. I'm from an older generation, before kids were complimented for every little ridiculous thing.

I do believe in putting positive energy out there. I've learned to do this over the years, and I freely acknowledge and compliment the positives about people. It's amazing how many people actually get emotional and say, "No one ever said that to me. Thank you!"

compliments for what? can you give an example?

I'll give compliments when it's one on one. I avoid complimenting someone in a group setting unless it's work related.