Anonymous wrote:Admissions can be very tricky. Accepted where you thought no chance, denied when you thought safety. You can't plan everything in advance.

Anonymous wrote:I told my DD I would pay up to the full cost of tuition, room & board at any of our in-state schools. We are in Virginia. If she went OOS or private, I said she would need to make up the difference.

She was accepted OOS with a scholarship that makes the cost much less than attending in Virginia.

As Michelle writes in her column, no school is worth going into significant debt.

Anonymous wrote:We made the mistake of allowing our daughter to apply to her dream school in the first place. Really, if you can't afford it, don't visit it and don't let your kid apply. Then there is no heartbreaking to do. We straight up told our daughter she could only go if she received a substantial merit aid award. That happened at a few other less desirable schools. She was very disappointed not to go to her dream school but understood that we did not want her or us in debt. She ended up at the perfect school for her and is happy as can be and doing amazing academically. It all worked out. We will not let our other children apply to schools we can't afford going forward. There is no point to it if you aren't going to let your kids go there anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you don't know if you can afford it, until they apply.

Friends son applied EA to school that gave significant merit to a Mminimum ACT or SAT score. After acceptance, they allowed him to retake but still did not make the cut (friend hinted that he was sooo close). They could afford to pay the difference, but let him decide. He knew it wasn't the best financial choice compared to his close 2nd option, so decided on to attend #2 instead and save his parents $

Yes, but in the end if the parents are footing the bill it is not up to the DC to make the final decision. Michelle Singletary is right that colleges are wrong when they tell parents to let their kids make the decision. I let my DD take ownership of much of the process of choosing, but there were clear budgetary guidelines - no net price cost exceeding in-state Virginia costs.

+1

My DC made the decision, but only within the financial parameters we made clear from day one.

What is up with parents not setting any limits?

Setting different limits than you do isn't "not setting any limits." It's a different choice that you have made. So take your judgment and stuff it.

Anonymous wrote:I let my DC apply to the colleges desired with the warning that out of pocket would have to be the same as UMD. Needless to say I was stunned, shocked, and in total disbelief that the Ivy DC chose left us with out of pocket expenses at $30K. UMD came to $25K. DC will attend the Ivy and will work over the summer applying 60% of summer work to the balance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you don't know if you can afford it, until they apply.

Friends son applied EA to school that gave significant merit to a Mminimum ACT or SAT score. After acceptance, they allowed him to retake but still did not make the cut (friend hinted that he was sooo close). They could afford to pay the difference, but let him decide. He knew it wasn't the best financial choice compared to his close 2nd option, so decided on to attend #2 instead and save his parents $

Yes, but in the end if the parents are footing the bill it is not up to the DC to make the final decision. Michelle Singletary is right that colleges are wrong when they tell parents to let their kids make the decision. I let my DD take ownership of much of the process of choosing, but there were clear budgetary guidelines - no net price cost exceeding in-state Virginia costs.

+1

My DC made the decision, but only within the financial parameters we made clear from day one.

What is up with parents not setting any limits?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with kids getting disappointed?

If you are clear up front that money will affect the outcome.

They apply. Hopefully they study extra hard for the SATs because they need that merit aid.

School makes a choice.

Parents and child make a choice.

Sometimes life is disappointing. If the kid had a reasonable chance of getting in with aid, why was it bad to try?

When I applied to grad school, I got into some but not many. The more elite the less likely I was to get in with money. It still made sense to apply for that NSF even if I was a longshot.

It's not bad to try **if the kid has a reasonable chance of getting in with aid.** But if you are applying to a school that offers no merit aid (or very little) and you have used the net price calculator, you can make a pretty good guess whether you can afford it. If you can only afford to spend $30k per year, and you run the net price calculator at Harvard for your brilliant child and it estimates that your family contribution will be $55k, why would you/your kid waste the application fee and the time needed to write a good application? Time and money better spent elsewhere--such as a school that offers significant merit aid to students like your brilliant child.

Uhm, b/c it's Harvard and worth whatever it is you will pay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you don't know if you can afford it, until they apply.

Friends son applied EA to school that gave significant merit to a Mminimum ACT or SAT score. After acceptance, they allowed him to retake but still did not make the cut (friend hinted that he was sooo close). They could afford to pay the difference, but let him decide. He knew it wasn't the best financial choice compared to his close 2nd option, so decided on to attend #2 instead and save his parents $

Yes, but in the end if the parents are footing the bill it is not up to the DC to make the final decision. Michelle Singletary is right that colleges are wrong when they tell parents to let their kids make the decision. I let my DD take ownership of much of the process of choosing, but there were clear budgetary guidelines - no net price cost exceeding in-state Virginia costs.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you don't know if you can afford it, until they apply.

Friends son applied EA to school that gave significant merit to a Mminimum ACT or SAT score. After acceptance, they allowed him to retake but still did not make the cut (friend hinted that he was sooo close). They could afford to pay the difference, but let him decide. He knew it wasn't the best financial choice compared to his close 2nd option, so decided on to attend #2 instead and save his parents $

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with kids getting disappointed?

If you are clear up front that money will affect the outcome.

They apply. Hopefully they study extra hard for the SATs because they need that merit aid.

School makes a choice.

Parents and child make a choice.

Sometimes life is disappointing. If the kid had a reasonable chance of getting in with aid, why was it bad to try?

When I applied to grad school, I got into some but not many. The more elite the less likely I was to get in with money. It still made sense to apply for that NSF even if I was a longshot.

It's not bad to try **if the kid has a reasonable chance of getting in with aid.** But if you are applying to a school that offers no merit aid (or very little) and you have used the net price calculator, you can make a pretty good guess whether you can afford it. If you can only afford to spend $30k per year, and you run the net price calculator at Harvard for your brilliant child and it estimates that your family contribution will be $55k, why would you/your kid waste the application fee and the time needed to write a good application? Time and money better spent elsewhere--such as a school that offers significant merit aid to students like your brilliant child.