Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about twice a week duty s*x. More like wild love making after 10+ years of marriage. BJs, sexting, the works. Do these men still seek out affairs?

Convince my DW to have sex like you describe and than ask me.

I have once a week duty sex with my husband (duty is on his part, as is the low frequency). If he ever initiated, or even sought treatment for low T, or even admitted he has a problem, I might not cheat.

All men cheat in their heads. It is a fact. Some are better than pretending they don't than others.

But, it takes a special man to act on it.

As a married man who knows many married men, I would say that most men that cheat do not look to do so. Most of it is circumstance. But it is important to consider how one's behavior puts yourself in those circumstances.

The reasons why men would put themselves in those circumstances is another question that I don't have an answer to, as it is probably different for every man. A suspect a lot of it though is rooted either in self-destructive impulses and some other of it is rooted in emotional dissatisfaction and some combination of the above.

You also have to throw in a lack of maturity as well, because honestly most men don't grow up in situations where women are falling all over them. Most men go through adolescence and young adulthood deathly afraid of girls and women because they hold all the cards, particularly the most crucial one, destroying your ego/self-esteem. So as we get older, get good careers, the dynamic shifts and we realize that we actually have power over women. And there are plenty of women that will throw themselves at you as a married man. The trick is being mature enough to realize that time has passed, to consider your commitments and to get over it not act on it.

In the end though, most men do not cheat, despite opportunities. Only a small percentage do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been married almost 30 years. Unfortunately, my DH and I have seen many marriages end over the years. We've been friends with several couples. Seems like when men cheat, it's more because they don't feel valued and respected by their wives. The nagging, the belittling, the constant nit-picking seem to really take a toll on men. Just my observation. It seems like it's never just lack of sex.

My observation has been the women do all the work while the men expect to come home and relax. It takes a toll on a woman and finally they've had enough. Sex is another chore at the end of the day, and if the man isn't doing his part it's not going to happen in the bedroom either.

No it not just lack of sex.

But that's not the subject of this thread, is it? We are talking about what drives MEN to cheat.

Nothing "drives anyone" to do bad things. That's called blaming the victim. Like people who steal, murder, molest, etc. nothing drives them. They make those choices because they are flawed or just plain rotten people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been married almost 30 years. Unfortunately, my DH and I have seen many marriages end over the years. We've been friends with several couples. Seems like when men cheat, it's more because they don't feel valued and respected by their wives. The nagging, the belittling, the constant nit-picking seem to really take a toll on men. Just my observation. It seems like it's never just lack of sex.

My observation has been the women do all the work while the men expect to come home and relax. It takes a toll on a woman and finally they've had enough. Sex is another chore at the end of the day, and if the man isn't doing his part it's not going to happen in the bedroom either.

No it not just lack of sex.

But that's not the subject of this thread, is it? We are talking about what drives MEN to cheat.

Nothing "drives anyone" to do bad things. That's called blaming the victim. Like people who steal, murder, molest, etc. nothing drives them. They make those choices because they are flawed or just plain rotten people.

I've been married over 35 years and would have to say that I am sexually satisfied but it has rarely been mind blowing. But I have a wonderful relationship with my DW and would be a complete fool to put our relationship at risk. We still have sex at least once a week and both initiate it which is a healthy thing. The good news is that sometimes the sex is great and that's simply because we are both really into it. If a man or woman is sexually satisfied and still cheats means there is either a big problem in their relationship beyond sex or they are narcissists and simply feel entitled to achieving whatever pleasure makes them happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been married almost 30 years. Unfortunately, my DH and I have seen many marriages end over the years. We've been friends with several couples. Seems like when men cheat, it's more because they don't feel valued and respected by their wives. The nagging, the belittling, the constant nit-picking seem to really take a toll on men. Just my observation. It seems like it's never just lack of sex.

My observation has been the women do all the work while the men expect to come home and relax. It takes a toll on a woman and finally they've had enough. Sex is another chore at the end of the day, and if the man isn't doing his part it's not going to happen in the bedroom either.

No it not just lack of sex.

But that's not the subject of this thread, is it? We are talking about what drives MEN to cheat.

Anonymous wrote:I've been married almost 30 years. Unfortunately, my DH and I have seen many marriages end over the years. We've been friends with several couples. Seems like when men cheat, it's more because they don't feel valued and respected by their wives. The nagging, the belittling, the constant nit-picking seem to really take a toll on men. Just my observation. It seems like it's never just lack of sex.

My observation has been the women do all the work while the men expect to come home and relax. It takes a toll on a woman and finally they've had enough. Sex is another chore at the end of the day, and if the man isn't doing his part it's not going to happen in the bedroom either.

No it not just lack of sex.

Anonymous wrote:I have lived enough years to say (and I really hate to say it) that this seems to be true: Men are as faithful as their options.

I am a woman, BTW. Just my observation.

Probably why more and more women are hoping he slips on a banana peel.

And all the happy widows out there. Once you have money, kids, and a comfortable living not much use for a man as far as many women are concerned.

I've been married almost 30 years. Unfortunately, my DH and I have seen many marriages end over the years. We've been friends with several couples. Seems like when men cheat, it's more because they don't feel valued and respected by their wives. The nagging, the belittling, the constant nit-picking seem to really take a toll on men. Just my observation. It seems like it's never just lack of sex.

Not in the 20 years we have been together. Before that, neither of us were all that faithful.

I have lived enough years to say (and I really hate to say it) that this seems to be true: Men are as faithful as their options.

I am a woman, BTW. Just my observation.

Anonymous wrote:No, cheating is about biology. We all want to get our genes in the gene pool, but a woman can only carry one man's child at any one time, so she is naturally monogamous. A man can have any number of women carrying his children at any one time so it behooves a man to cheat.

Man here. This.

Yes. I have pretty good sex with my spouse, but we have intimacy issues and I can't get past my resentment so I'm cheating.

One of my good friend's husband cheated on her a few times in his 40's. She never forgave him. It wrecked the marriage though she stayed for the kids and retirement. Recently she told me he's had ED for some time and she's thrilled! I really don't know what causes that because he's not in poor health. She confided that after the cheating she never wanted to have sex again with him though obviously she had to. Still cheating is a choice, and a bad one at that. It's never worth losing your spouse or kids over a piece of meat. Nor your kids respect of you.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about twice a week duty s*x. More like wild love making after 10+ years of marriage. BJs, sexting, the works. Do these men still seek out affairs?

Convince my DW to have sex like you describe and than ask me.