Anonymous wrote:My DW has a Fed job with flex hours and she snoozes to work 6am to 2:30pm to avoid rush hour commuting. By doing this she is on bed at 9am and up at 4:30am.

She chooses this over having any bedroom time with me. I now know what is important in her life.

Bedroom time? Are you a child...with that schedule she obviously needs her sleep. Yes bills and putting food on the table are pretty important, lol.

Anonymous wrote:DW usually goes to bed around 10pm while I stay up until midnight. Does anybody else have a similar difference in bedtime? I sometimes like the time to myself after she is in bed, but it is often lonely. This loneliness leads to too much time online, too much porn and generally feeling less engaged with DW.

Initiating sex can't be as spontaneous because we aren't in bed awake at the same time.

We both wake up around 7am, so there's no schedule driven reason for her to go to bed that early.

I bet she loves that time to herself. Why can't you enjoy those two hours without porn or other things? That I find weird and kind of needy. Imo when you live with someone you see each other every day. Your time alone shouldn't feel lonely. Sex imo doesn't have anything to do with loneliness. Sounds like you need better ways to fill up that time.

PP, tell your husband to learn to cook. Why should you stop work to cook dinner for him? This is the 21st century.

should be goes to bed at 9 PM.

We have the same issue. My DH works in a military environment where you're expected to be in there before 7 and then he's home early.
I'm not sure which thrills me more -- having a husband who goes to bed at 9 AM, or having him home at 4 PM demanding to know what's for dinner -- and when it will be ready.

I'm an academic who works from home a lot, so half the time I don't get moving until 9, stay up until midnight and somehow haven't trained myself to start making dinner at noon so it will be ready at 3.

It's like we live in 2 different time zones. On weekends, we reverse the cycle -- I wake up early to do 5K races and he sleeps in.

My DW has a Fed job with flex hours and she snoozes to work 6am to 2:30pm to avoid rush hour commuting. By doing this she is on bed at 9am and up at 4:30am.

She chooses this over having any bedroom time with me. I now know what is important in her life.

Yes, no matter what your sleep and work schedule, you should try to get into bed at some point together in the evening and cuddle, talk, and have sex if you feel like it. Then the first sleeper zonks out and the night owl can get up and do whatever. We do this and call it "tucking in" the other person.

The connection time is important.

I goto bed around 10. maybe watch news for a bit and then fall asleep. DW is a night owl and goes to bed around 2am

I wake up at 5 to get to work. DW wakes up around 10am to begin her work day.

on weekends I'll stay up a bit later, and she'll goto bed a bit earlier.

sometimes she comes to bed with me for the activities or sometimes when i wake up early on the weekends I'll come back to bed for some morning activities....

its all good..

You don't have to go to bed at the same time every night, but if she needs the sleep then she will go to bed. If you are really staying up late to watch porn then you should go to bed also, your right to say that when you get in bed there really is no chance of something physical starting she has been asleep for a couple hours. If you want a chance at the physical then get in bed with her, and make that an opportunity. When she falls asleep read a book or get some extra sleep. You really cant blame her for going to bed when she is tired, good luck and best of wishes.

DH and I go to bed at the same time about 95% of the time. It's my favorite time of the day -- we spend time talking, cuddling, having sex, or sometimes going right to sleep, depending on the night.

It really helps us to stay connected.

Dh loves going to bed early (usually by 9). I hated it to start, but replaced my nightly tv with reading in bed after he's gone to sleep and I feel really rested in the morning (not to mention more mentally stimulated).

Anonymous wrote:My husband is usually tired a long time before I am, but we make time to be together because it's a priority for us. I usually stay up at night until 2 or 3, and wake up at 5. On nights that we are intimate, he will fall asleep within the next half hour, but sometimes I'm so wired that I'm up until the alarm goes off. I usually sit outside in the dark and enjoy the night. I am one of those early morning, all day, and almost all night people, and have been all of my life. I can feel totally rested with only a couple of hours of sleep.

!!

Wow!

I am in bed by 8-9 usually. I read, etc. for a while. Asleep usually 10-11. Don't sleep well (insomnia and a baby), so I need to be in bed as long as possible to get any sleep. I'm usually awake by 5.

My husband is usually tired a long time before I am, but we make time to be together because it's a priority for us. I usually stay up at night until 2 or 3, and wake up at 5. On nights that we are intimate, he will fall asleep within the next half hour, but sometimes I'm so wired that I'm up until the alarm goes off. I usually sit outside in the dark and enjoy the night. I am one of those early morning, all day, and almost all night people, and have been all of my life. I can feel totally rested with only a couple of hours of sleep.

Anonymous wrote:Go to bed at 10pm with her, have sex, and then read in bed/play on your phone/do whatever until your actual bedtime

This is what my husband does.

My husband used to go to bed at the same time, but would wake up super early since he needs little sleep. Now he goes to bed a few hours later than I do. He just sits downstairs and watches TV. I don't know how he functions on so little sleep. I need 8-9 hours to feel good.