My child is not SN, so I will not pretend to relate. However, my 5 year old also doesn't respond well to No so I have found more creative ways to garner the desired behavior without using the dreaded No word very often. For example: Can I have a cookie? "I know that a cookie sounds delicious and I wish we could eat them all the time, but Mommy's job is to make sure you stay healthy and continue to grow so this time we need to eat some fruit. Apple or Banana, you choose. "

Or: You have been watching TV for quite a while. We can only watch 3 hours in a week. I think you should turn it off now so you'll be able to watch your show again tomorrow.

Also, for some reason "we don't hit" is easier for a child to swallow than No, stop hitting"

Always acknowledge how your child feels, and it will go a long way. I know stopping to play and leaving the park right now is very frustrating for you, but we need to get home for dinner and I promise we will come back later this week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there negative consequences when he misbehaves?

Op? -NP

There are I mean time out. We take him back tot he at in public and he loves being out and about. We take away his blanket and trucks and he has to earn it back. But I have to fight him on everything all day - as in, please don't put your excavator in the bath. Please take it out. Please get in the bath. Please don't kick me. He ignores all those requests. I'm sure people are right that he's picking up on my distress. I'm the most sad and worried I've ever been and he's just getting older and worse and I'm just distraught. So that's part of it.

Pick your battles. Why can't he have his excavator in the bath tub? Also, when he hits you. Its hands are not for hitting and immediately time out or in your room or another consequence. I would not take away his blanket as that is a comfort item.

This is our DS, just recently turned 6. He has ASD and ADHD. We've done ABA and everything else people are suggesting and honestly it hasn't made much difference. I think a lot of it is truly just his personality. I sympathize OP. It's completely exhausting and maddening. All of the positive reinforcement in the world and the negative consequencesand only seem to take the edge off slightly. 123 Magic, Kazdin, pragmatic speech therapy, etc. haven't changed it. He is just a kid who likes to push boundaries and doesn't give two sh*ts about what other people think or if they're mad at him (thanks ASD). I keep hoping time and continued perseverance on our part will help, or at least that he can channel the tenacity into something productive as an adult.

Sorry, OP. 5.5 was the worst of it for our DC. I was like you but it did get better by 6. One thing that worked for our DC was always trying to find a way to say "Yes... and then "if" or "in a while" or "tomorrow." DC would say I want ice cream now and I'll say back "Yes, but we'll have to go tomorrow and only if you your best in school." I would pump up every "no" so it would seem positive and exciting. It didn't work all the time but it did a surprising number of times.
Hang in there!

Have you looked into other health explanations? Our DC had sleep apnea that took a long time to diagnose (she didn't snore, and just got hyper when she was overtired, as kids sometimes do). When we finally did (by getting an ENT to look at her adenoids) and had her surgery, her behavior improved immensely. I've also heard crazy stories about kids with Lyme disease having behavioral issues. I would find a really good functional medicine doctor who will start fresh and look for all possible causes.

So sorry, OP.

^back to the car!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there negative consequences when he misbehaves?

Op? -NP

That's not how you change behavior with a SN kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there negative consequences when he misbehaves?

Op? -NP

There are I mean time out. We take him back tot he at in public and he loves being out and about. We take away his blanket and trucks and he has to earn it back. But I have to fight him on everything all day - as in, please don't put your excavator in the bath. Please take it out. Please get in the bath. Please don't kick me. He ignores all those requests. I'm sure people are right that he's picking up on my distress. I'm the most sad and worried I've ever been and he's just getting older and worse and I'm just distraught. So that's part of it.

Anonymous wrote:Are there negative consequences when he misbehaves?

Op? -NP

Hugs OP. It sounds like you are doing a lot. I think the other posters are well meaning but I doubt anyone is saying anything earth shattering that you haven't already thought of. The truth is sometimes you can be doing everything right and it is still hard.

Which professional has been the most help to you or who do you feel the most comfortable with? Can you contact them and say you are feeling really discouraged and overwhelmed? They might have some advice, or reassurance. Sometimes I lose perspective with my kid and can't see what has improved because there is still so much to be done. Also, what about getting some help for yourself? Even if it is just a few sessions with a therapist.

First, I hear ya, OP. These kids need a lot of constant direction. They cannot figure out how to act without it. Sounds like any amount of unstructured time is a nightmare for him and you/your family. I know when things go off the rails at home, we have to go back to the visual calendar/schedule and go over it with my child.

I know how exhausting this is. Spring break can be so long when there are issues like this at play.

He can feel your disapproval and frustration and he is acting out as a result. You must figure a way to love this child and taking the time to discipline gently and firmly is part of that. I have an ASD child who often doesn't seem to "hear." Hitting, pushing or grabbing are not allowed. We use 1,2,3 magic consistently. It works.

Hang in there. Is it possible for you to get him a regular therapist and having him tested for other delay issues. Never the less there is help out there for you and your family. Sometimes the meds might be a trigger. Consider talking your doctor about his meds he is taking.. Stay encouraged mom. Work on getting a good support team to help you. God bless

Are there negative consequences when he misbehaves?

Anonymous wrote:We do aba. He has an iep and is in pep. It was going well and recently it has not been.

Then you (parents, caregivers) need to meet with the clinical director and ABA therapists and adjust his program. Our DD's program is constantly evolving to adapt to her needs.