Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:44     Subject: Re:When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
I was the opposite of gifted - As a matter of fact, I got held back in first grade. However, I graduated a year early from high school with a 4.1 GPA after living from family home to family home since my parents house was foreclosed my "junior" year. I went to college and graduated with a 3.4, and now I work a job I love. Not gifted, at all but still impressed with myself.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:35     Subject: Re:When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. The reason I asked the question is because I think most of us when we first have kids, deep down think that maybe (just maybe) our child will be the next Einstein, Bill Gates, Oprah, etc. We track their development and are excited they are speaking X amount of words by age Y, or they started walking early at 9 months, etc. But as they get older, most of us, I think, realize they are just normal (or average) and suddenly there's no more pressure and you start to relax and actually enjoy your kids for who they are. That's all I was getting at. One of my nieces tested in the top 1% when she was tested for entrance to a private school for Kindergarten, and another started reading by age 3 and is an amazing artist at age 6. I celebrate their gifts and achievements and no longer feel compelled to compare my kids.


Then I am confused why you posted this. It sounds like you're asking advice in your OP but now you're acting like you've already processed this and are doing just fine accepting your non-gifted kid.

You shouldn't have to "accept" a kid or ever feel compelled to compare them. They're individual human beings. They're better at some stuff than others, worse at other things. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. I guess I just don't get why you think everyone has to come to terms with the radical notion that kids are their own people.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:34     Subject: Re:When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
Anonymous wrote:I love how the majority of the PPs claim place no value in being labelled gifted yet made sure to mention their own giftedness in their posts


Yeah, I thought about that when I was typing. But the point is, a parent who was themselves gifted as a child might be expected to be more wedded to the idea that their own children would also be gifted, or might be expected to have a harder time adjusting to an "average" child.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:33     Subject: Re:When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. The reason I asked the question is because I think most of us when we first have kids, deep down think that maybe (just maybe) our child will be the next Einstein, Bill Gates, Oprah, etc. We track their development and are excited they are speaking X amount of words by age Y, or they started walking early at 9 months, etc. But as they get older, most of us, I think, realize they are just normal (or average) and suddenly there's no more pressure and you start to relax and actually enjoy your kids for who they are. That's all I was getting at. One of my nieces tested in the top 1% when she was tested for entrance to a private school for Kindergarten, and another started reading by age 3 and is an amazing artist at age 6. I celebrate their gifts and achievements and no longer feel compelled to compare my kids.


Eh, speak for yourself and all your other neurotic friends. I was a gifted child, and while it might have been difficult for me to adjust to parenting children who had serious delays or who hated reading, I never think about my kid being the next [famous person--although lumping Oprah in with Einstein is kind of hilarious]. I didn't need to realize that my kids were "normal" to relax and enjoy parenting them and avoid comparing them to everyone else's kids. I'm glad that you have learned to enjoy your kids for who they are, but not everyone starts out from a position of competitive parenting.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:29     Subject: Re:When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
I love how the majority of the PPs claim place no value in being labelled gifted yet made sure to mention their own giftedness in their posts
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:28     Subject: When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
I am the OP of a thread last week about hitting my intellectual peak 2 years ago. Being designated as gifted does NOT ensure either success or happiness.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:28     Subject: Re:When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
OP here. The reason I asked the question is because I think most of us when we first have kids, deep down think that maybe (just maybe) our child will be the next Einstein, Bill Gates, Oprah, etc. We track their development and are excited they are speaking X amount of words by age Y, or they started walking early at 9 months, etc. But as they get older, most of us, I think, realize they are just normal (or average) and suddenly there's no more pressure and you start to relax and actually enjoy your kids for who they are. That's all I was getting at. One of my nieces tested in the top 1% when she was tested for entrance to a private school for Kindergarten, and another started reading by age 3 and is an amazing artist at age 6. I celebrate their gifts and achievements and no longer feel compelled to compare my kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:16     Subject: When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
Anonymous wrote:Neither of my children are gifted and I never really thought much about it.

They are happy and developing appropriately.


OMG! A normal person on DCUM! I feel like I should get a prize for finding you.
I would like to be your friend IRL. So tired of all the posters that think the sun shines out of their kids ass.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:15     Subject: Re:When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
Gifted? Damn, I just want my kid to telling people I farted when I didn't (or even when I do!)
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:12     Subject: When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
Anonymous wrote:This thread is so lame. Accept that your kid is gifted? What's the alternative? Relax about it after? Who are you people? Just let your kid be and stop stressing about it or you'll make them anxious too.


you are right in principle, but some of us are profoundly gifted ourselves and perhaps expected our kids to be the same. this is the only thing we know.

i have a very iq, and so does my husband. before i had kids i assumed they would be at the very top of every class, never get a B and easily pursue and be successful in whatever field they wish. my older kid had a profound language delay and this was a shock to me, but also a blessing in that i quickly and early disposed of those assumptions. now she caught up and i am thrilled with that and it is in fact liberating not to have all those assumptions about her or her sister. in fact i wish i could apply the same attitude towards myself.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 09:04     Subject: When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
Work ethic and drive, in my opinion, are more important than whether the child is "gifted." Reason being, in all likelihood almost all of us will not have truly gifted kids. High achievers, maybe. You should aim to teach / encourage those qualities. I was never the "smartest" or "most athletic" but outworked my peers.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 07:51     Subject: When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
I know too many "gifted" people with super messed up lives to feel sad about my kids not being gifted. I am aiming for happy and healthy!
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 07:50     Subject: Re:When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
My older DS is more like I used to be: gifted, geeky, and somewhat socially awkward. My younger is a social butterfly. He is smart, but not gifted. Quite honestly, I am less worried about my not gifted, fun, outgoing DS. I think he'll do well in life. My older, highly gifted DC, will probably go through the same struggles I did. I hope he will overcome them, gain some EQ, and will move on to be a happy person. It took me a while.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 07:39     Subject: When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
Anonymous wrote:This thread is so lame. Accept that your kid is gifted? What's the alternative? Relax about it after? Who are you people? Just let your kid be and stop stressing about it or you'll make them anxious too.


This +1000

Your post speaks volumes to your insecurities OP. That's not an attractive look.
--Mom of an 11 year old & 15 year old and thrilled that they are funny, normal kids that are polite and kind to others
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2017 07:35     Subject: When did you realize (accept) your child was not gifted?
Neither of my children are gifted and I never really thought much about it.

They are happy and developing appropriately.