Anonymous
04/06/2017 07:52
Subject: Another woman sat on my DHs lap
Stand strong op.
At best she was crazy drunk and she's a stupid flirt with no boundaries. Stay away.
At worst, she's literally trying to move on in. And doing it publicly is like a claiming territory thing. In that case, be careful. She'd love for this to be a huge blowout argument between you and DH, driving a wedge. A wedge is all she needs to press further.
Or some combination.
Stay strong with DH. You are allowed to feel upset, but don't let him take the whole brunt of it. Plan some special dates or weekends with him. And pray you both can steer clear of that woman from now on.
At best she was crazy drunk and she's a stupid flirt with no boundaries. Stay away.
At worst, she's literally trying to move on in. And doing it publicly is like a claiming territory thing. In that case, be careful. She'd love for this to be a huge blowout argument between you and DH, driving a wedge. A wedge is all she needs to press further.
Or some combination.
Stay strong with DH. You are allowed to feel upset, but don't let him take the whole brunt of it. Plan some special dates or weekends with him. And pray you both can steer clear of that woman from now on.
Anonymous
04/06/2017 07:51
Subject: Another woman sat on my DHs lap
Anonymous wrote:I would be cool about this and pretend nothing happened because she is obviously seeking attention from others. The way to undermine her is not to give it to her. The worst thing to do is make a scene with her; that will only feed her ego. Your DH sounds like an awesome guy who is true blue so treat him well.
100%
Both of you should blow her off completely. There's a girl who has a thing for my fiancé and although I trust him totally, I don't want people gossiping when she tries to flirt with him when I'm not around. He literally just walks away from her. He won't really acknowledge her beyond a cool hello. Like your DH, he tells me if he's out and sees her around (I don't go out much, we live in a small town so it's not hard to run into someone), and I've also had co-workers tell me that they've seen him walk away from her. He did the right thing and that's the best you can ask for. You can't control what SHE does but he can control his reaction to her.
Anonymous
04/06/2017 07:26
Subject: Re:Another woman sat on my DHs lap
As you said, you don't know the context. But if any case, if anyone did that at any of my office parties, there would DEFINITELY be gossip about it. Mostly though about the person plopping on someone's else lap. It's very unprofessional and inappropriate.
Your DH did tell you about it, as others have pointed out. But the fact that she is starting to drop details about her marriage to her husband and that she calls your her little sister. What's that about? So condescending. Next time she does that, you should laugh and say "No, I'm more like your daughter."
I know how you feel, OP. Easy to say to brush it off. Harder to do.
What did your DH say when he got home?
Your DH did tell you about it, as others have pointed out. But the fact that she is starting to drop details about her marriage to her husband and that she calls your her little sister. What's that about? So condescending. Next time she does that, you should laugh and say "No, I'm more like your daughter."
I know how you feel, OP. Easy to say to brush it off. Harder to do.
What did your DH say when he got home?
Anonymous
04/06/2017 05:45
Subject: Another woman sat on my DHs lap
I would be cool about this and pretend nothing happened because she is obviously seeking attention from others. The way to undermine her is not to give it to her. The worst thing to do is make a scene with her; that will only feed her ego. Your DH sounds like an awesome guy who is true blue so treat him well.
Anonymous
04/06/2017 04:46
Subject: Re:Another woman sat on my DHs lap
She's a wierdo and probably has a crush on your husband. I think you and your husband should ignore her and never see her as a provider again.
Anonymous
04/06/2017 04:24
Subject: Re:Another woman sat on my DHs lap
You're overreacting. She sat on his lap in front of others. If she was drunk; others probably were too. Big deal.
Anonymous
04/06/2017 04:20
Subject: Another woman sat on my DHs lap
It is a good sign OP that your husband texted you about this on his own.
Also a bit unusual too for a man to do this, could he possibly have told you this on his own because he was afraid you would hear about it from someone else or see a picture of her on his lap elsewhere??
Just wondering.....
Also a bit unusual too for a man to do this, could he possibly have told you this on his own because he was afraid you would hear about it from someone else or see a picture of her on his lap elsewhere??
Just wondering.....
Anonymous
04/06/2017 00:21
Subject: Re:Another woman sat on my DHs lap
Were they wearing real clothes or scrubs? Those scrubs are mighty thin; you can feel EVERYTHING.
Anonymous
04/05/2017 23:32
Subject: Another woman sat on my DHs lap
Anonymous wrote:DH is at a work dinner. Not sure how many people exactly, it's a goodbye party for someone. Usually these things are 10-20 people. No partners were invited this time.
My DH works at a hospital, he works with residents. He just texted me that one of the drs came around the table and sat on his lap Infront of everyone to talk to his side of the table. He said if this was anyone else my wife would kill me. Not sure what she said, but I imagine she laughed? it off. Not sure how I feel about this. I'm more upset than I'd like to be. I do know this woman, in we both have seen her as a provider. We've also hung out on work retreats and have had drinks/dinner together. She likes to reference me as her little sister. She is married too. I really don't know.... Thoughts?? Help me before he gets back.
She sat on his lap? Did they talk about the first thing they popped up?
Anonymous
04/05/2017 23:28
Subject: Re:Another woman sat on my DHs lap
If they were messing around for real, they wouldn't do it so publicly.
Was she wearing sweatpants?
Was she wearing sweatpants?
Anonymous
04/05/2017 22:59
Subject: Another woman sat on my DHs lap
DH did good, this woman would be cut off honestly. Or at least given the civil but cold shoulder by both of you. Totally inappropriate.
On the off chance that she's trying to try something with your DH you should establish a very firm boundary and some distance at least temporarily. If she asks be honest about it so she knows you guys are on the same page and it's not going to happen.
When your DH gets home be honest with him that it didn't make you feel good but you're happy he told you and you're not mad at him but you are feeling upset.
On the off chance that she's trying to try something with your DH you should establish a very firm boundary and some distance at least temporarily. If she asks be honest about it so she knows you guys are on the same page and it's not going to happen.
When your DH gets home be honest with him that it didn't make you feel good but you're happy he told you and you're not mad at him but you are feeling upset.
Anonymous
04/05/2017 22:59
Subject: Another woman sat on my DHs lap
I would be pissed at her. It was inappropriate. I hope your husband immediately excused himself. If not, then tongues are already wagging at your husband's work, I'm sure.
TwistdMike
04/05/2017 22:23
Subject: Re:Another woman sat on my DHs lap
Self-preservation. He was probably worried about a picture popping up on some social app.
Anonymous
04/05/2017 22:16
Subject: Re:Another woman sat on my DHs lap
I think your husband is dumb to even mention this to you. He wanted you to react
Anonymous
04/05/2017 22:12
Subject: Another woman sat on my DHs lap
Are you asking if he should say something about it to his coworkers? No, that would be awkward, and call more attention to it. I think it's good he texted you. Now, you both move on. I agree she's probably going to apologize for drinking, etc. If she continues to act inappropriately, then he should say something to get her to back off.