Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 16:49     Subject: How worried were you, and how did things work out?
Most families ruminate/discuss way too much re: the reaches. That mental energy is better spent finding and loving the safeties.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 15:16     Subject: Re:How worried were you, and how did things work out?
Anonymous wrote:This was an interesting question and I had to think long and hard about this. I have a college grad, one in college now and one going in the fall. I will say that you have to fight to manage your anxiety and your kid’s anxiety level in the DC area. I compare it to taking a final exam in college and once it is over, all your classmates are talking about the answers they got and none of them are the answers you had. It is like you are always concerned about whether you are putting your kid in the best position. That was a shock to DH and me. We are both from middle America. The talented kids in our HS went to college, but going to the flagship school in the state (or a nearby state) was/is acceptable as they are well regarded schools (think Univ. of Michigan or Univ. of Wisconsin). A few kids each year went Ivy or T10, but they were the unquestioned superstars. In navigating the DC college ratrace with our own kids, we had to tap into our “middle America” side and our own personal history. What I mean is that neither one of went Ivy or even T10 elite, but we have been very successful with our Flagship U undergrad and T20 grad school educations. So that is the message we had to embrace with our own kids. They all did well enough to get into good schools – but we ALL had to internalize that success does not have one path. You can go to almost any good school, do well, take advantage of the opportunities and end up in the same place. The key was picking a place where you can be happy and successful. It may be an Ivy or a T10 elite and it may not be. You have to do that work to find out. But you and your kid have to absolutely fight the notion that only a limited number of universities can lead to success. FWIW, my oldest graduated from a regarded SLAC, my middle is at a T10 elite and my youngest will be attending the Flagship U in a neighboring state.


This.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 12:04     Subject: Re:How worried were you, and how did things work out?
This was an interesting question and I had to think long and hard about this. I have a college grad, one in college now and one going in the fall. I will say that you have to fight to manage your anxiety and your kid’s anxiety level in the DC area. I compare it to taking a final exam in college and once it is over, all your classmates are talking about the answers they got and none of them are the answers you had. It is like you are always concerned about whether you are putting your kid in the best position. That was a shock to DH and me. We are both from middle America. The talented kids in our HS went to college, but going to the flagship school in the state (or a nearby state) was/is acceptable as they are well regarded schools (think Univ. of Michigan or Univ. of Wisconsin). A few kids each year went Ivy or T10, but they were the unquestioned superstars. In navigating the DC college ratrace with our own kids, we had to tap into our “middle America” side and our own personal history. What I mean is that neither one of went Ivy or even T10 elite, but we have been very successful with our Flagship U undergrad and T20 grad school educations. So that is the message we had to embrace with our own kids. They all did well enough to get into good schools – but we ALL had to internalize that success does not have one path. You can go to almost any good school, do well, take advantage of the opportunities and end up in the same place. The key was picking a place where you can be happy and successful. It may be an Ivy or a T10 elite and it may not be. You have to do that work to find out. But you and your kid have to absolutely fight the notion that only a limited number of universities can lead to success. FWIW, my oldest graduated from a regarded SLAC, my middle is at a T10 elite and my youngest will be attending the Flagship U in a neighboring state.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 11:46     Subject: How worried were you, and how did things work out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was worried. DC was high stats with outstanding ECs but not the tippy top of a highly competitive private. It all worked out great; top ivy but not HYP. DC happy and thriving -a great match was made in the end.


I'm confused.... I thought HYP were the top ivies, no?



Top 10 Ivy - Columbia or Penn
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 11:44     Subject: How worried were you, and how did things work out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was worried. DC was high stats with outstanding ECs but not the tippy top of a highly competitive private. It all worked out great; top ivy but not HYP. DC happy and thriving -a great match was made in the end.


I'm confused.... I thought HYP were the top ivies, no?



Dear God, there should be Xanax in the water in metro DC.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 11:42     Subject: How worried were you, and how did things work out?
Anonymous wrote:I was worried. DC was high stats with outstanding ECs but not the tippy top of a highly competitive private. It all worked out great; top ivy but not HYP. DC happy and thriving -a great match was made in the end.


I'm confused.... I thought HYP were the top ivies, no?

Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 11:42     Subject: Re:How worried were you, and how did things work out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is your budget?


Thanks for taking such an interest. I'm not looking for advice specific to our situation; I'd much rather hear about other people's experiences, liberally sprinkled with 20/20 hindsight.


That is an odd response.

For the vast majority of people, budget is the main driver. Therefore, other people's experiences will be based at least in part if not mostly on that.
What's so odd about that response. Respectfully, the OP may not fall into the 'vast majority.' S/he asked for specific information. No conspiracy in that.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 11:23     Subject: How worried were you, and how did things work out?
I was very worried. DC was an extremely high stat kid with great extra-curriculars and no hooks. This is exactly the kind of kid that gets frozen out of top schools--the Ivy's are near impossible and the 1st tier schools are yield protecting. With that said, he did great--multiple Ivy's, and top tiers with honors. However, he was rejected or waitlisted at many of the schools that were supposed to be safeties.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 11:20     Subject: Re:How worried were you, and how did things work out?
Slightly worried as DC was a good but not stellar student in high school.

Things worked out beautifully. He got into a great school and is thriving there, with excellent grades, a group of friends, and involvement in ECs.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 11:14     Subject: How worried were you, and how did things work out?
I was worried. DC was high stats with outstanding ECs but not the tippy top of a highly competitive private. It all worked out great; top ivy but not HYP. DC happy and thriving -a great match was made in the end.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 11:08     Subject: How worried were you, and how did things work out?
I think it really helps to listen to some of the kids who are actually in college. They are funny, bright, exceptional but also every day kids. Many of them went into college fully expecting to graduate in a particular field only to discover that the field wasn't right for them so they switched majors and found their niche that way. And they are happy.

I guess the point is, try to keep an open mind and realize that there is more than one path to success. I do think that things happen for a reason.

Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 11:06     Subject: Re:How worried were you, and how did things work out?
Anonymous wrote:
For the vast majority of people, budget is the main driver. Therefore, other people's experiences will be based at least in part if not mostly on that.


So when people talk about how worried they were and how things worked out, they can talk about budget.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 10:57     Subject: Re:How worried were you, and how did things work out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is your budget?


Thanks for taking such an interest. I'm not looking for advice specific to our situation; I'd much rather hear about other people's experiences, liberally sprinkled with 20/20 hindsight.


That is an odd response.

For the vast majority of people, budget is the main driver. Therefore, other people's experiences will be based at least in part if not mostly on that.