Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks so much for everyone's input, advice and anecdotes. So, so helpful right now!

I don't think I can squeeze in everything everyone asked, but about diet – we have her on omega 3s by Nordic Naturals. Our developmental pediatrician, who actually also diagnosed my son with ADHD, says he believes they can help. We also try to make sure she runs around outside as much as possible when it's not too yucky out. She helps in the garden, makes mud puddles on her own with her watering can and puts her rubber boots on and goes to it. One of my favorite things about her. She is absolutely not a sit-at-the-table-and-do-crafts kind of kid. If there is a sensory component, our doctor feels it's mild and not out of the range of normal for the age, though I personally think some of her behavior leans toward the sensory seeking side, if anything. But it's not overwhelming.

So interesting reading some of your stories. To the PP who described the hitting as a reflex rather than a premeditated action – yes! That's exactly it! I know she knows it's wrong, because afterward, she will hug the person and say sorry. But she just can't help herself when someone gets in her space too fast and too quickly AND she doesn't know them. We were at a playgroup recently and it was a nanny instead of one of the moms that day and the nanny went to take her hand to show her something she thought she would like (too much too fast, I thought) and my daughter began to pull away, couldn't get away, and smacked the nanny's arm with an open hand. Not hard. But I was embarrassed, despite the fact that my first thought was, "Wow, I bet she was scared because she didn't know who that was." I understand it, but sometimes I still feel a bit mortified by it. We are trying to teach her instead to say, "Go away, please," or "I'm not ready, " or even just "No! Stop it!" But given that my 11 year old is only just now getting good at being able to think thoughtfully proactively ahead of time about his actions before he does something, I'm guessing I'm going to be in this for a bit.

Nordic is a great brand and brands make a difference with supplements. Sounds like you have a wonderful doctor who thinks outside the box a bit. I would urge you to do the search for ADHA and diet. Even WebMD (not my favorite site) has something about doing an elimination diet. Another article outlines the 7 terrible foods for ADHA (but a lot of them have the same ingredient: sugar): fast food, soda, candy, frozen foods that have artificial coloring, cake mixes and frostings, energy drinks, fish and other seafood that may have mercury. In addition, there are known common foods that cause problems: milk, chocolate, soy, wheat, eggs, beans, corn, tomatoes, grapes, and oranges. I didn't have ADHD but had health challenges that caused me to look into these things and believe me, sounds weird but makes a huge difference. I urge you to try the elimination diet to see if that helps. It is a pain to do but could make a very big change. Good luck!

We are looking probably to start meds when she is 6, and trying everything else in the meantime. She IS able to use mindfulness already and will take a 2-minute timeout and calm down within 45 seconds doing deep breathing, counting to 10 and saying, "Calm down," to herself very slowly and quietly. I have been very impressed with that.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks so much for everyone's input, advice and anecdotes. So, so helpful right now!

I don't think I can squeeze in everything everyone asked, but about diet – we have her on omega 3s by Nordic Naturals. Our developmental pediatrician, who actually also diagnosed my son with ADHD, says he believes they can help. We also try to make sure she runs around outside as much as possible when it's not too yucky out. She helps in the garden, makes mud puddles on her own with her watering can and puts her rubber boots on and goes to it. One of my favorite things about her. She is absolutely not a sit-at-the-table-and-do-crafts kind of kid. If there is a sensory component, our doctor feels it's mild and not out of the range of normal for the age, though I personally think some of her behavior leans toward the sensory seeking side, if anything. But it's not overwhelming.

So interesting reading some of your stories. To the PP who described the hitting as a reflex rather than a premeditated action – yes! That's exactly it! I know she knows it's wrong, because afterward, she will hug the person and say sorry. But she just can't help herself when someone gets in her space too fast and too quickly AND she doesn't know them. We were at a playgroup recently and it was a nanny instead of one of the moms that day and the nanny went to take her hand to show her something she thought she would like (too much too fast, I thought) and my daughter began to pull away, couldn't get away, and smacked the nanny's arm with an open hand. Not hard. But I was embarrassed, despite the fact that my first thought was, "Wow, I bet she was scared because she didn't know who that was." I understand it, but sometimes I still feel a bit mortified by it. We are trying to teach her instead to say, "Go away, please," or "I'm not ready, " or even just "No! Stop it!" But given that my 11 year old is only just now getting good at being able to think thoughtfully proactively ahead of time about his actions before he does something, I'm guessing I'm going to be in this for a bit.

We are looking probably to start meds when she is 6, and trying everything else in the meantime. She IS able to use mindfulness already and will take a 2-minute timeout and calm down within 45 seconds doing deep breathing, counting to 10 and saying, "Calm down," to herself very slowly and quietly. I have been very impressed with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember spending hours on google when my son was 2 trying to find anyone talking about kids hitting when they weren't "frustrated". There was NOTHING about this. My son has always been an exceptionally happy kid, but at age 2 would go up to another kid at the park from behind and randomly push them. He didn't care if another kid took his toys, but if another kid was playing with toys in his personal space, he might bonk that kid on the head. He would push and pull kids in line once he started school, and do all kinds of other physical space intrusions that were not okay. It was mortifying and stressful. None of it was in any way related to his emotions (I..e, it was anger, frustration, over enthusiasm). It was almost like a reflex action where he was dealing with other people in his space. He was not remorseful, because from his perspective the event wasn't an interaction with another person.

Preschool was really hard for us. Lots of tears (other kids, not him).

I spent so much time on google and found almost nothing. I figured adhd or aspergers was a possibility, but so much of what's written about those two things is about kids being hyperactive (my son was busy, but not off the charts) and being inattentive (he is not inattentive). His first preschool I am baffled there is not more guidance out there about 2-5 years olds and (non-angry) adhd hitting.

We started meds at just shy of his 5th birthday and it has been a godsend.

My kid also did/does this. Meds have not helped him. He clearly has ADHD but he can't tolerate stimulants so we are trying others. I agree that kids with ADHD don't have to be frustrated to exhibit this behavior - my kid's speech is fine for example, which is one reason that is often given. My son does have motor planning and perioreceptive issues, and he is very big for his age, so often other kids will be roughhousing, he tries to take part, someone gets hurt. My son also just really likes bumping into people because he is a major sensory seeker - I can see it coming on in say a bounce house or trampoline situation. he tries to create opportunities to collide. It is not out of any kind of maliciousness but its obviously not fair to other children so for now we just have to watch him very closely. It is very very stressful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Just curious, for parents who have ADHD kids, do you tell people what your kid's diagnosis is to explain their behavior? Or say nothing?

No one thinks my kid has ASD or ADHD both of which he has so I say nothing. Generally, people have a very stereotypical view of how these diagnosis "look like".

Anonymous wrote:I remember spending hours on google when my son was 2 trying to find anyone talking about kids hitting when they weren't "frustrated". There was NOTHING about this. My son has always been an exceptionally happy kid, but at age 2 would go up to another kid at the park from behind and randomly push them. He didn't care if another kid took his toys, but if another kid was playing with toys in his personal space, he might bonk that kid on the head. He would push and pull kids in line once he started school, and do all kinds of other physical space intrusions that were not okay. It was mortifying and stressful. None of it was in any way related to his emotions (I..e, it was anger, frustration, over enthusiasm). It was almost like a reflex action where he was dealing with other people in his space. He was not remorseful, because from his perspective the event wasn't an interaction with another person.

Preschool was really hard for us. Lots of tears (other kids, not him).

I spent so much time on google and found almost nothing. I figured adhd or aspergers was a possibility, but so much of what's written about those two things is about kids being hyperactive (my son was busy, but not off the charts) and being inattentive (he is not inattentive). His first preschool I am baffled there is not more guidance out there about 2-5 years olds and (non-angry) adhd hitting.

We started meds at just shy of his 5th birthday and it has been a godsend.

Anonymous wrote:My child had some issues with hitting/pushing. One of the things we did was that there was always a consequence - either a time out, grounding, or no TV/computer. ADHD kids have trouble controlling their impulses, but they CAN do it. Also some doctors will medicate at age 5 even though American Associates of Pediatrics recommends not to medicate until age 6.