The Love language book did nothing but make me more frustrated. Wife was shocked that physical contact was strongly my number 1.
I started doing more, I get her breakfast ready for her every day, acts of service was her number 1. She goes to get her nails done every week things like that. (she is SAH) I mentioned that while I was working on her language she was ignoring mine. She told me it was a just a fun test and didn't mean anything

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the posters who say you have several marriages within a marriage. We are coming out of the early childhood years and starting new again. It took a toll on us.

The love language book was helpful as corny as it sounds. OP, almost all men's love language is physical touch. Without touch and, yes, sex, they will not feel loved and will disconnect. I am sure there are exceptions, I haven't met any.

Agree with this. Never met a man who didn't need that. Sure, it took me 30 years to realize ....

I agree with the posters who say you have several marriages within a marriage. We are coming out of the early childhood years and starting new again. It took a toll on us.

The love language book was helpful as corny as it sounds. OP, almost all men's love language is physical touch. Without touch and, yes, sex, they will not feel loved and will disconnect. I am sure there are exceptions, I haven't met any.

I'm lucky. My DH and I were very good friends for a few years before we ever got together. We both come from families where the parents were marrIed forever and adored each other. All of that set the tone for a good relationship and it has played out. After many years we are still best friends and very happy. The fact that we both still love sex after 60 doesn't hurt.

Relationships have to be worked on forever. It's not always easy but spouses should be doing things together and talking and not just superficial conversations? When is the last time you had a date night(http://bit.ly/2nbGIbp )? It's something you can both work on to bring you closer together.

Change your attitude. Start treating him the way you want to be treated. See how he reacts.

Empty nest comments are interesting.

Anyone have a more difficult time after the kids left and it was just you/spouse in the house? And how did you deal?

I felt like that when I was married. I don't have kids so it was much easier to divorce--I'm a million times happier now and in a relationship with someone for several years now who gives me that connection and spark and we've never lost it. I personally feel that you can't force or fake it.

I hope the empty nest years are kind to us it we need to hit that stage in better shape than we are now. And we are still 8 years away from that. Honestly the thought of an empty nest leaves me sad in the void I will feel with the kids gone. But yes, the idea of more freedom, more time to travel, etc is appealing