Anonymous
Post 04/12/2017 21:05     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you struggling to accept trans people in general, or just their dating habits, OP? I think that once you truly accept and understand (as much as anyone can who hasn't personally experienced being transgender) that some people are transgender and that's okay, most other aspects of trans life fall into place. This means letting go of worrying about which sex organs a person is born with and accepting that the gender a person identifies as is who they are. If Sam is a trans man, he identifies as male, we see him as male, so we shouldn't question him wearing masculine clothes, having facial hair, using the men's restroom, or identifying as straight when he dates women. That's how we'd identify other men who date women, right? Not that it's really any of our business anyway


OP here, and I really appreciate all the responses. To PP, as I thought I stated clearly, I have no problems with acceptance and tolerance, I just don't understand. If you read the article I linked to, the trans individual identified as straight in their "new" gender but had not had surgery and was not understanding why heterosexual individuals didn't want to date them.


Pp here, yes sorry, I was responding to the poster who suggested all of those things could be so separate. To plenty of straight and gay people, they are not.

I don't think that will change across the population as a whole, but it is definitely a challenging part of the transgender communities' experience... I sort of think that it will stay that way. I dont think you can expect people to be attracted to you in defiance of what they find attractive bc of how you identify.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2017 12:57     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote:Are you struggling to accept trans people in general, or just their dating habits, OP? I think that once you truly accept and understand (as much as anyone can who hasn't personally experienced being transgender) that some people are transgender and that's okay, most other aspects of trans life fall into place. This means letting go of worrying about which sex organs a person is born with and accepting that the gender a person identifies as is who they are. If Sam is a trans man, he identifies as male, we see him as male, so we shouldn't question him wearing masculine clothes, having facial hair, using the men's restroom, or identifying as straight when he dates women. That's how we'd identify other men who date women, right? Not that it's really any of our business anyway


OP here, and I really appreciate all the responses. To PP, as I thought I stated clearly, I have no problems with acceptance and tolerance, I just don't understand. If you read the article I linked to, the trans individual identified as straight in their "new" gender but had not had surgery and was not understanding why heterosexual individuals didn't want to date them.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 20:17     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm assuming you're a woman who likes men. You like men, not penises. Do you want to kiss a man, or a penis? Do you want to marry a man, or a penis? Do you see a picture of a man and think he's attractive, or a picture of a penis and think it's attractive. I'll answer for you, you look at human MEN and find them attractive, not penises as a body part. Straight women are interested in being in relationships with men, not penises with legs. Look up the following transgender men, who are men born with vaginas: "Benjamin Melzer" "Aydian Dowling" "Laith Ashley De La Cruz" and "Wesley Finn Tucker". Any straight woman would die to go out with these men, and just because these men were born without penises doesn't mean they're not desireable or that they're unlovable. Lesbians are attracted to people who look like women. NO lesbian would be attracted to any of the men listed above, straight women would, and are. They all have heterosexual girlfriends.


I like a man and a penis. I want to kiss a man and a penis. And if i am being honest, the penis pften makes up for the man. Occiasionally, back in my single years, the penis at times was of far more interest that the man. There is no subtracting the penis from any part of it for me.

That may be what is so confusing for some people, it is not something that can be parsed separately so neatly for everyone.

I dont care how good you look, no way I am dating you without the specific sexual part and function.... but i am also a breeder, right, so its a huge part of my identity to have that sexual function and gender identity fused. I will never call myself cis anything btw.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 19:54     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
If a woman dates a man with a vagina that woman is gay
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 19:47     Subject: Re:I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter whether Sam has a vagina or penis. Sam probably dates heterosexual women who are attracted to men. Sam and his partner discuss what genitalia Sam possesses and Sam's date decides whether she's still attracted to him regardless of his genitalia. And if she decides she's still into Sam she's probably still hetero, but maybe not. Sexuality is all a spectrum and these labels are not so important. Does that help?


Here is the thing though--- it does matter. Different parts. Different sexual experience. I think it would be very confusing to date a Caitlyn unless you were into a very different kind of sexual experience. They are tied together whether people want to believe it or not.


Well, if you think it is confusing, don't date Caitlyn. Nobody is saying you have to be into her.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 09:56     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"The more predominant view is that the penis is a female sex organ if the penis owner identifies as a woman."

Really? I had no idea this was the case. I know that most transgendered people have not gone through genital surgery, but that can be for a variety of reasons (simple cost being one of them). I really hadn't heard anyone talk about their penis being a female sex organ if they identify as a woman.


Yes. The current wave of trans activism holds that it is cissexist (transphobic) to only be attracted to women with vaginas or men with penises. Genitals do not correspond with gender or sexual orientation. Riley J. Dennis, a prominent activist and writer, explains here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5GYlZKfBmI

Danielle Muscato, a trans activist who went viral for her takedown of Trump after the election, puts it more succinctly (NSFW): https://twitter.com/DanielleMuscato/status/839611526998818817

A safe-sex guide from Human Rights Campaign, a top LGBT organization that gives a rundown on the correct anatomical terminology: http://assets.hrc.org//files/assets/resources/Trans_Safer_Sex_Guide_FINAL.pdf


I'm OP and I think this is where I start to struggle. It's basically like saying "anything goes". I want to be a woman, but I have a penis, so I'm going to say a penis is just as much a woman's organ as a man's.

I'm so appreciative of the respectful answers, but I'm still grappling with this since it definitely is complicated. Sure, I can live and let live, but I'm hoping to reach understanding which is why I'm thinking about this.


Are you struggling to accept trans people in general, or just their dating habits, OP? I think that once you truly accept and understand (as much as anyone can who hasn't personally experienced being transgender) that some people are transgender and that's okay, most other aspects of trans life fall into place. This means letting go of worrying about which sex organs a person is born with and accepting that the gender a person identifies as is who they are. If Sam is a trans man, he identifies as male, we see him as male, so we shouldn't question him wearing masculine clothes, having facial hair, using the men's restroom, or identifying as straight when he dates women. That's how we'd identify other men who date women, right? Not that it's really any of our business anyway


PP here. I haven't watched the videos but I can't fully get behind the description of the first one. I don't want it to seem like I support it because I quoted it.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2017 09:53     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"The more predominant view is that the penis is a female sex organ if the penis owner identifies as a woman."

Really? I had no idea this was the case. I know that most transgendered people have not gone through genital surgery, but that can be for a variety of reasons (simple cost being one of them). I really hadn't heard anyone talk about their penis being a female sex organ if they identify as a woman.


Yes. The current wave of trans activism holds that it is cissexist (transphobic) to only be attracted to women with vaginas or men with penises. Genitals do not correspond with gender or sexual orientation. Riley J. Dennis, a prominent activist and writer, explains here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5GYlZKfBmI

Danielle Muscato, a trans activist who went viral for her takedown of Trump after the election, puts it more succinctly (NSFW): https://twitter.com/DanielleMuscato/status/839611526998818817

A safe-sex guide from Human Rights Campaign, a top LGBT organization that gives a rundown on the correct anatomical terminology: http://assets.hrc.org//files/assets/resources/Trans_Safer_Sex_Guide_FINAL.pdf


I'm OP and I think this is where I start to struggle. It's basically like saying "anything goes". I want to be a woman, but I have a penis, so I'm going to say a penis is just as much a woman's organ as a man's.

I'm so appreciative of the respectful answers, but I'm still grappling with this since it definitely is complicated. Sure, I can live and let live, but I'm hoping to reach understanding which is why I'm thinking about this.


Are you struggling to accept trans people in general, or just their dating habits, OP? I think that once you truly accept and understand (as much as anyone can who hasn't personally experienced being transgender) that some people are transgender and that's okay, most other aspects of trans life fall into place. This means letting go of worrying about which sex organs a person is born with and accepting that the gender a person identifies as is who they are. If Sam is a trans man, he identifies as male, we see him as male, so we shouldn't question him wearing masculine clothes, having facial hair, using the men's restroom, or identifying as straight when he dates women. That's how we'd identify other men who date women, right? Not that it's really any of our business anyway
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2017 15:08     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"The more predominant view is that the penis is a female sex organ if the penis owner identifies as a woman."

Really? I had no idea this was the case. I know that most transgendered people have not gone through genital surgery, but that can be for a variety of reasons (simple cost being one of them). I really hadn't heard anyone talk about their penis being a female sex organ if they identify as a woman.


Yes. The current wave of trans activism holds that it is cissexist (transphobic) to only be attracted to women with vaginas or men with penises. Genitals do not correspond with gender or sexual orientation. Riley J. Dennis, a prominent activist and writer, explains here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5GYlZKfBmI

Danielle Muscato, a trans activist who went viral for her takedown of Trump after the election, puts it more succinctly (NSFW): https://twitter.com/DanielleMuscato/status/839611526998818817

A safe-sex guide from Human Rights Campaign, a top LGBT organization that gives a rundown on the correct anatomical terminology: http://assets.hrc.org//files/assets/resources/Trans_Safer_Sex_Guide_FINAL.pdf


I'm OP and I think this is where I start to struggle. It's basically like saying "anything goes". I want to be a woman, but I have a penis, so I'm going to say a penis is just as much a woman's organ as a man's.

I'm so appreciative of the respectful answers, but I'm still grappling with this since it definitely is complicated. Sure, I can live and let live, but I'm hoping to reach understanding which is why I'm thinking about this.


Yes, it is complicated.

When it gets to the point where lesbians are being called bigoted for not wanting to having sex with penises, as in the Riley J. Denis video, it's where I stop blindly agreeing to just go along with things because it's the "right" thing to do.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2017 14:55     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm assuming you're a woman who likes men. You like men, not penises. Do you want to kiss a man, or a penis? Do you want to marry a man, or a penis? Do you see a picture of a man and think he's attractive, or a picture of a penis and think it's attractive. I'll answer for you, you look at human MEN and find them attractive, not penises as a body part. Straight women are interested in being in relationships with men, not penises with legs. Look up the following transgender men, who are men born with vaginas: "Benjamin Melzer" "Aydian Dowling" "Laith Ashley De La Cruz" and "Wesley Finn Tucker". Any straight woman would die to go out with these men, and just because these men were born without penises doesn't mean they're not desireable or that they're unlovable. Lesbians are attracted to people who look like women. NO lesbian would be attracted to any of the men listed above, straight women would, and are. They all have heterosexual girlfriends.


No. Maybe this is true for you, but your post is a mess of erroneous generalizations.

I'm a woman who likes men... and penises. I want to kiss both. I want to marry a man who has a penis. Of course the people in your post are loveable and desirable, but they aren't to everyone, and they aren't to most straight (heterosexual) women. That's fine! Most people aren't desirable and loveable to most people.

06:42 is totally correct. When I see a good-looking man, I don't need to first confirm that he has a penis before being attracted to him. Why? Because 99% of people who look like B. Melzer have penises.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2017 06:42     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote: Any straight woman would die to go out with these men.


Uhh.... that is a huge assumption.

The one thing that is not an assumption is that most straight woman still expect a penis as part of the package. That is the reality, unfortunate or not. Why? Sex. Children. We are biologically programmed to want sex and children and we want it the conventional way.

I guarantee if you ask 10 straight women about dating (as a prospective serious LTR) any of these transgenders, 9 / 10 (if not 10/10) will say no. Maybe one or two dates for the novelty but definitely not as a serious relationship.

If a man wants to become a woman, go for it. Good for him (or her). I won't stop him or judge him. But that person cannot expect to neatly slip into the full role of a woman with everything that comes with being a woman. Or vice versa if it's a man wanting to be a woman.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2017 22:57     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
OP, I'm assuming you're a woman who likes men. You like men, not penises. Do you want to kiss a man, or a penis? Do you want to marry a man, or a penis? Do you see a picture of a man and think he's attractive, or a picture of a penis and think it's attractive. I'll answer for you, you look at human MEN and find them attractive, not penises as a body part. Straight women are interested in being in relationships with men, not penises with legs. Look up the following transgender men, who are men born with vaginas: "Benjamin Melzer" "Aydian Dowling" "Laith Ashley De La Cruz" and "Wesley Finn Tucker". Any straight woman would die to go out with these men, and just because these men were born without penises doesn't mean they're not desireable or that they're unlovable. Lesbians are attracted to people who look like women. NO lesbian would be attracted to any of the men listed above, straight women would, and are. They all have heterosexual girlfriends.
Anonymous
Post 03/29/2017 21:00     Subject: Re:I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter whether Sam has a vagina or penis. Sam probably dates heterosexual women who are attracted to men. Sam and his partner discuss what genitalia Sam possesses and Sam's date decides whether she's still attracted to him regardless of his genitalia. And if she decides she's still into Sam she's probably still hetero, but maybe not. Sexuality is all a spectrum and these labels are not so important. Does that help?


Here is the thing though--- it does matter. Different parts. Different sexual experience. I think it would be very confusing to date a Caitlyn unless you were into a very different kind of sexual experience. They are tied together whether people want to believe it or not.
Anonymous
Post 03/29/2017 20:55     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
OP, I am also lost in the maze of what it all means. I just try to be kind to everyone and worry about my own life and relationship.
Anonymous
Post 03/29/2017 20:50     Subject: I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"The more predominant view is that the penis is a female sex organ if the penis owner identifies as a woman."

Really? I had no idea this was the case. I know that most transgendered people have not gone through genital surgery, but that can be for a variety of reasons (simple cost being one of them). I really hadn't heard anyone talk about their penis being a female sex organ if they identify as a woman.


Yes. The current wave of trans activism holds that it is cissexist (transphobic) to only be attracted to women with vaginas or men with penises. Genitals do not correspond with gender or sexual orientation. Riley J. Dennis, a prominent activist and writer, explains here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5GYlZKfBmI

Danielle Muscato, a trans activist who went viral for her takedown of Trump after the election, puts it more succinctly (NSFW): https://twitter.com/DanielleMuscato/status/839611526998818817

A safe-sex guide from Human Rights Campaign, a top LGBT organization that gives a rundown on the correct anatomical terminology: http://assets.hrc.org//files/assets/resources/Trans_Safer_Sex_Guide_FINAL.pdf


I'm OP and I think this is where I start to struggle. It's basically like saying "anything goes". I want to be a woman, but I have a penis, so I'm going to say a penis is just as much a woman's organ as a man's.

I'm so appreciative of the respectful answers, but I'm still grappling with this since it definitely is complicated. Sure, I can live and let live, but I'm hoping to reach understanding which is why I'm thinking about this.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 10:37     Subject: Re:I guess I still don't understand transgender definitions of gay and straight
Gay here.

Don't understand most of what is being claimed on here either. Well, I do, but it's still eye rolling.

Whatever floats your boat. Peace man.