Why not just ask what the rules are and stick to them. The kids could be allowed more flexibility than ypu know or could be acting up because you are there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:*We're staying at my son's house for a few weeks and they have two pre-schoolers.* He hasn't provided much in terms of how to help or what their routines are, but I can observe and know I usually cook dinners as they both work full-time.
Last extended visit, the kids were even younger but now they are at the stage where they act up a lot, ask for special treats, push the boundaries and such. Their behavior seems extra whiny and difficult when we're around or my son is around. Not the nanny or mom.
Is there anything we should or should not do?

You mean your grandchildren? I've never heard a grandmother refer to her grandchildren as some preschoolers that her son has.

I got a lot more useful info from knowing the kids are preschool age than reconfirming they are OP's grandchildren.

op, just speak to the nanny or mom about how to help or stay out of the way. Children that age are fund, hard work, and a little conniving.

Anonymous wrote:*We're staying at my son's house for a few weeks and they have two pre-schoolers.* He hasn't provided much in terms of how to help or what their routines are, but I can observe and know I usually cook dinners as they both work full-time.
Last extended visit, the kids were even younger but now they are at the stage where they act up a lot, ask for special treats, push the boundaries and such. Their behavior seems extra whiny and difficult when we're around or my son is around. Not the nanny or mom.
Is there anything we should or should not do?

You mean your grandchildren? I've never heard a grandmother refer to her grandchildren as some preschoolers that her son has.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're staying for a few weeks and aren't helping? It sounds like they want more attention. Why not take them to the park, read them stories, do a craft with them or coloring books?

She said she was cooking dinner! Grandparents are not maids or free childcare. Personally, I would stay in a hotel rather than with bratty kids.

I think they should try to go in a one week vacation together every other year. It will be more quality time with your son's while family.
More fun and more memories than staying in their house a week or two while they both work fulltime, have a nanny, two v young children, and likely busy demanding schedules? Use the inheritance on fun trips with them! They might prefer that to extended houseguests as well, plus everyone's schedule is up in the air and you can plan together what to do while on vacation.

Anonymous wrote:You're staying for a few weeks and aren't helping? It sounds like they want more attention. Why not take them to the park, read them stories, do a craft with them or coloring books?

She said she was cooking dinner! Grandparents are not maids or free childcare. Personally, I would stay in a hotel rather than with bratty kids.

Anonymous wrote:We're staying at my son's house for a few weeks and they have two pre-schoolers. He hasn't provided much in terms of how to help or what their routines are, but I can observe and know I usually cook dinners as they both work full-time.
Last extended visit, the kids were even younger but now they are at the stage where they act up a lot, ask for special treats, push the boundaries and such. Their behavior seems extra whiny and difficult when we're around or my son is around. Not the nanny or mom.
Is there anything we should or should not do?

Ask your son to list out some details on the routine for the kids. And some do's and don'ts. Kids that age can be clever!

Btw, I think my grandchildren are brats. They don't even listen to adults when crossing busy roads, they can't sit through church, and they think restaurants are playgrounds.
Sure they are cute and playful but the lack of actual parenting nowadays saddens me.

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad that my kids view my role as spoiling the kids rotten. I actually am a decent disciplinarian but the get away with a lot, and the kids simply tell the grandkids to enjoy it now, because there's mom and dad rules and Grammy rules.

Do you live within driving or stopping by distance, and return to your own home most nights?
Or are you flying in and LIVING WITH your adult kid's family for days and weeks?
Big difference.

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad that my kids view my role as spoiling the kids rotten. I actually am a decent disciplinarian but the get away with a lot, and the kids simply tell the grandkids to enjoy it now, because there's mom and dad rules and Grammy rules.

Don't be so sure all is rosy. My mom did her own thing and paid no heed to the rules. I said what your kids said because it was the best way to minimize damage. As granny grew more confident about "her rules" she started to be less trustworthy until finally we were unable to leave her with our kid when school was in session. When as a last straw she failed to get with the program about a matter of health (she might disagree, but my kid, my call) we pretty much stopped letting her come weekdays. Her loss. She misses spending more time her. Makes my parenting easier without her
though.

I'm so glad that my kids view my role as spoiling the kids rotten. I actually am a decent disciplinarian but the get away with a lot, and the kids simply tell the grandkids to enjoy it now, because there's mom and dad rules and Grammy rules.

Here is your golden opportunity to get in like Flynn with your daughter in law. Ask her directly how she wants certain things handled and do that.

Anonymous wrote:We're staying at my son's house for a few weeks and they have two pre-schoolers. He hasn't provided much in terms of how to help or what their routines are, but I can observe and know I usually cook dinners as they both work full-time.
Last extended visit, the kids were even younger but now they are at the stage where they act up a lot, ask for special treats, push the boundaries and such. Their behavior seems extra whiny and difficult when we're around or my son is around. Not the nanny or mom.
Is there anything we should or should not do?

You have a strange way of talking about your grandchildren...