Is your DH really suggesting that you should risk your kids' lives to avoid making FIL uncomfortable? That doesn't seem a fair trade to me.

Does FIL also come from a country where laws are not enforced (or not fairly)? If so, the "it's the law" argument might not carry the impact that it does here.

Make sure he sits in front. It's more dangerous if the unrestrained passenger is in the rear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your FIL is old enough to decide if he wants to wear a seat belt. I am sure your children are around other people that do things that you don't want them to do, and you explain to them why things are inappropriate. I am surprised everyone is backing you up. He's an adult.

This. Please get over it. Or, give him some kind of direct order if you prefer to look like a giant a-hole.

As others have pointed out too, it's not about manners. Unsecured people become dangerous projectiles in an accident. Chances are one won't happen, but I unfortunately know too many people who thought it would be fine just this once and it wasn't.

+1 IMO the person refusing to wear a seatbelt while a passenger in someone else's car, with their children, is the giant a-hole.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your FIL is old enough to decide if he wants to wear a seat belt. I am sure your children are around other people that do things that you don't want them to do, and you explain to them why things are inappropriate. I am surprised everyone is backing you up. He's an adult.

This. Please get over it. Or, give him some kind of direct order if you prefer to look like a giant a-hole.

As others have pointed out too, it's not about manners. Unsecured people become dangerous projectiles in an accident. Chances are one won't happen, but I unfortunately know too many people who thought it would be fine just this once and it wasn't.

We have the same situation. We try to have the kids ride in a different car if two cars are driving anyway. DH will drive with FIL and any other adults who want to ride with them and all the kids will drive with me. We don't make a big announcement about it but know privately that's the goal. The only thing is that our oldest is about to get his license and we don't want him thinking it's ok to drive with anyone unbelted...

Anonymous wrote:I think your FIL is old enough to decide if he wants to wear a seat belt. I am sure your children are around other people that do things that you don't want them to do, and you explain to them why things are inappropriate. I am surprised everyone is backing you up. He's an adult.

This. Please get over it. Or, give him some kind of direct order if you prefer to look like a giant a-hole.

If I'm driving, I'm in command. You do WTF I say, or you walk.

Anonymous wrote:I know it only takes "one time" but seriously- you are overreacting to make a point. Let the old man sit in the back of the car- where it is LEGAL to not wear a seat belt. Move on with your life. Even in DC, you need to be pulled over for something else in order to ticket someone in the back seat for not wearing a seat belt. Get a grip and find something real to worry about.

Look this is just bad advice. You may not get a ticket but that isn't the serious risk. The risk is injury to other passengers when and unrestrained passenger becomes a projectile missile in a crash: the advice to sit in the back seat makes this worse.

I know it only takes "one time" but seriously- you are overreacting to make a point. Let the old man sit in the back of the car- where it is LEGAL to not wear a seat belt. Move on with your life. Even in DC, you need to be pulled over for something else in order to ticket someone in the back seat for not wearing a seat belt. Get a grip and find something real to worry about.

Anonymous wrote:If it were me and FIL refused to wear a seatbelt, my husband would drive him separately from the children and we would say *nothing* of the seatbelt refusal. Actions have consequences.

This is a good idea. The real risk from an unsecured passenger is not just that they will be injured in an accident but that they will fly with enormous impact into the other passengers and cause them fatal damage too. Even worse if they are in the backseat.

OP find a way around this that doesn't endanger your family.

If it were me and FIL refused to wear a seatbelt, my husband would drive him separately from the children and we would say *nothing* of the seatbelt refusal. Actions have consequences.

If he doesn't want to wear one just hit the brakes real hard! Only need to once!

How about telling him you love him and want him safe.

Her car, her rules

Anonymous wrote:I think your FIL is old enough to decide if he wants to wear a seat belt. I am sure your children are around other people that do things that you don't want them to do, and you explain to them why things are inappropriate. I am surprised everyone is backing you up. He's an adult.

In an accident, an unsecured person can injure other passengers.