Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She announced her notice. They actually want her to stay but she's not budging.

Could something have happened at work that she isn't telling you?

Op. Possibly but she's completely shut down on the subject. She's just done.

She got fired or laid off. Mothers would not do to this to their kids and family.

Ugh, I'm sorry OP. My dad pulled this sh*t with my mother twice when I was growing up and it was awful for all of us.... well, except for him. He got to screw around at home (while not doing any childcare or housework because he didn't feel like it) for months on end so he was happy as a clam.

Hopefully your wife finds a new job ASAP. If she doesn't... well, just know that my siblings and I all still remember Dad leaving our family in the lurch and how hard it was on Mom, even decades later. We'd do anything for her. Him, not so much.

Does she want to be a SAHM now or will she be looking for another job? Maybe she'll find it quickly. You should be supportive of her right now.

I bet she got fired and is just telling you she quit.

Anonymous wrote:If she was that miserable she should quit, and OP you should support that. She'll find another one.

Their child's healthcare is from her job - she just got rid of it unilaterally because she doesn't like her job.

I think that she should quit, but with a discussion with her husband so that a FAMILY plan can be constructed.

Where is healthcare going to come from?
How are we going to make up for the difference in the finances?
Etc...

The issue for me is the unilateral decision made from what it seems, on a whim with no discussion. If she is single, no children, no husband, do whatever you want.

But, being part of a family unit and making a decision like that - not acceptable.

Anonymous wrote:If she was that miserable she should quit, and OP you should support that. She'll find another one.

No way. Neither spouse should make a unilateral decision on this big of scale. Jobs are not always easy to come by. Finding another one takes work and time. Adults talk open and honestly with their partners. Job hunt first, give notice second.

My sister did the same thing and threw the household finances into a tailspin. She told her boyfriend, one she's lived with for 10 years, she was fired/laid off. She lied, she quit. She told us she was tired of going to work.

He put her on an allowance and said straight up the situation will be this way until she decides to find another job. That ain't happening. No kids but the extras are gone. Like her tropical vacations, expensive makeup and clothes.

Short of major abuse at work (like sexual abuse) I can't think of a situation I which I would just leave my family uninsured or significantly short on funds. I think what she did is extremely selfish and irrational. I would be passed if I were you. I don't know if that emotion would be helpful in any way, but this kind of behavior by a spouse is almost abusive
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Anonymous wrote:Op here. She announced her notice. They actually want her to stay but she's not budging.

When is her last day? Can you try to get an emergency session with a counselor to discuss this in a neutral place with an outsider to balance out the emotions + panic?

Even if you don't have a counselor that you've worked with previously, you might be able to get an appointment. Or, find one and go yourself - this is a huge decision for her to make unilaterally.

I would still try to convince her to stay until, say, June and look for work until then, and if she can't find work by June you can work something out so she can quit (then save like mad and build as much cushion as possible so that its less painful).

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She announced her notice. They actually want her to stay but she's not budging.

I am sorry your wife is so selfish and doesn't think such major decisions should be made together. This sounds like the result of too many Oprah Winfrey shows where "I" come first and "I" have to do what makes me happy. Quite frankly I think the problem is that so many people lack gratitude for what they have and what is good in their lives and just want more of something, in your wife's case, more of me, me, me and the hell with the rest. Well, she is going to find out that the world just isn't sunshine and flowers no matter in which job or situation she ends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She announced her notice. They actually want her to stay but she's not budging.

Could something have happened at work that she isn't telling you?

Op. Possibly but she's completely shut down on the subject. She's just done.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She announced her notice. They actually want her to stay but she's not budging.

Could something have happened at work that she isn't telling you?

Op here. She announced her notice. They actually want her to stay but she's not budging.

This can't be right.

Just for contextual sake what is the HHI with her working and now without? i need my wifes income to run this house but she makes 130K if this is like half that and she was miserable just let it pass.