It really depends on the relationship. DH's sister lives 30 minutes from us and we see her at least once a month, often more. She's a great aunt to our son and she and I get along great and try to have a girls night ourselves every few months. And DH sees her on his own sometimes too. It would be wonderful if she'd get married and have kids; I grew up close to my cousins and wish I could have the same for my kids. DH's parents moved here too and we probably see them every 2 or 3 weeks, either at our place or theirs. They're a little further away, close to an hour. It would be nice if they were closer but it's much better than the plane ride we used to do!

I'm very close with my sister and my son and nephew are the same age and get along great, but we don't see them as often because she's a 7 hour drive away. We try to coordinate meeting every 3 months or so at my parents' house, in the middle. My sister came very close to moving here and I really wish she had. But her husband wasn't willing to move. I still harbor dreams that she might, but I can't imagine it will actually happen.

My inlaws' sibling and spouse live within 20 minutes of them and us, but no one has seen them in years. MIL's sister did not come to the bris for our son -- to which ALL other family members came, many from out of state -- nor does she show any interest in ever communicating with MIL. Doesn't answer the phone, doesn't email, too busy to ever get together (although all are retired). (But, of course, happily accept the gifts MIL sends their grandchildren, without reciprocating.) MIL is devastated; according to her they were very close growing up, and MIL values family above all else. She keeps trying even though we've all told her to give it up already. So -- there's an example where proximity does nothing!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think about it all the time. My sibling is pretty much unable to move from Boston (lots of reasons). I want my kids to be able to have them in their lives on more of a drop by for a baseball game or pizza kind of basis rather than the do a whole weekend visit throughout the year basis.

Is there anything keeping you from moving to the Boston area? It is a great area.

Go PATS!

OK, A) I'm from NY, while my DH is from New England, I'll utter "go pats" under the most nightmarish of circumstances,like picture Saw. ha!

B) nothing is really holding us except the weather, my DH'so job is lucrative here and not sure what is there for him, and also I think even I'm a little scared to start over again, we have a great friend group here but it isn't the same as my family, but it's still hard to leave our lives here.

That is completely understandable. I think it was much easier for my brother and I, because we have just always seemed to migrate together... And we both have lucrative jobs in this area. I know that it would be difficult to try and leave this area and be paid and have the same opportunities...

Maybe one day the moon and stars align! But for now, it sounds like you have a great life. Unfortunately, we can't have EVERYTHING, but it seems as though you are happy, healthy, and well - can't ask for much more.

We did this - moved to live in closer my brother so we could raise the cousins together. We have young kids and didn't anticipate the challenges of having different parenting and conflict resolution styles between couples. We are working through it, and I do think it will be great for the kids in the long run, but there have been some bumps. If we knew then what we know now, we might have made a different decision. So I guess I agree with the PP - be as honest as you can with yourself about your personalities, expectations, and relationships.

My parents and my sister and her family are all in this area. Wouldn't trade it for the world - in fact we have toyed with moving to other cities and the family bond keeps us here. We see my parents about once a week (or at least my kids do) and my sister's family about twice a month. Everyone talks several times a week.

My siblings and I all went off to different colleges and then lived in various cities. We all moved back a few years ago and now that we are having kids it's been awesome. We celebrate birthdays together and births and big milestones. Our parents also live in the area and while that's been nice, they have their own problems that we basically ignore because neither of them deal with their issues. It does really depend on the dynamic between siblings though. We don't fight with each other and generally don't meddle, so that helps. We also all do different things professionally so there's no competition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think about it all the time. My sibling is pretty much unable to move from Boston (lots of reasons). I want my kids to be able to have them in their lives on more of a drop by for a baseball game or pizza kind of basis rather than the do a whole weekend visit throughout the year basis.

Is there anything keeping you from moving to the Boston area? It is a great area.

Go PATS!

OK, A) I'm from NY, while my DH is from New England, I'll utter "go pats" under the most nightmarish of circumstances,like picture Saw. ha!

B) nothing is really holding us except the weather, my DH'so job is lucrative here and not sure what is there for him, and also I think even I'm a little scared to start over again, we have a great friend group here but it isn't the same as my family, but it's still hard to leave our lives here.

Anonymous wrote:For the record, most cases of sexual abuse happen within families. Just make sure your brother or brother-in-law isn't a predator. Just saying.

That escalated quickly.

For the record, most cases of sexual abuse happen within families. Just make sure your brother or brother-in-law isn't a predator. Just saying.

I have six siblings who all live within an hour or so of each other and I live many hours away. Would i like to be near them? Yes....but only if the career opportunity is equal to or better than what I have.

Anonymous wrote:I think about it all the time. My sibling is pretty much unable to move from Boston (lots of reasons). I want my kids to be able to have them in their lives on more of a drop by for a baseball game or pizza kind of basis rather than the do a whole weekend visit throughout the year basis.

Is there anything keeping you from moving to the Boston area? It is a great area.

Go PATS!

I think about it all the time. My sibling is pretty much unable to move from Boston (lots of reasons). I want my kids to be able to have them in their lives on more of a drop by for a baseball game or pizza kind of basis rather than the do a whole weekend visit throughout the year basis.

My two sisters live in the DC metro area and my parents just under 2 hours away. We generally see my sisters 1-2 times per month and my parents at least once every other month. It works out pretty well. My husband's family all lives in another metro area that he would love to go back to, but I honestly don't think we would see them that often because they are always very "busy" with their own lives. I agree with the others that you have to take a hard look at the actual family dynamic to see if it would be worth it.

OP be careful about making sure you understand your family dynamic. My brother, sister, and I live very close to one another. But I didn't realize until recently how dysfunctional our relationship was and now I don't talk to my sister. I honestly think that if we didn't live so close, our dysfunction wouldn't have gotten so bad and our relationship wouldn't have blown up.

I'm glad to hear so many families make it work and are so close. Just make sure when you do, that it's truly because you're close and not, for example, co-dependent or something else. Hopefully it's not and you have the kind of relationship some of these other posters have and it works for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sisters and I live on the same piece of property. We each have about five acres or so. Our kids are more like siblings than cousins. My parents live about 4 miles up the road. I would not trade it for the world.

That's terrific! Glad all the dads get along, too.

They do. They joke that they each married all three of us.

I grew up living next door to my first cousins and it was the best experience of my life. I would do it in a heartbeat again with my siblings if I could, but it won't work out because of what we all do for a living and various incomes.