Why would he need to do this privately? Why can't you talk with him about it? Your attitude shows a lot of shaming about it.

Why not reach over and help him out?

Anonymous wrote:I got my own bed. Crusty can jack it all night if he feels like it.

crusty what? Feet? Nuts? Elbows?

Anonymous wrote:I thought my DH was doing this. Turns out he had raging jock itch and was vigorously scratching his balls in his sleep.

Gross.

Holy nail scratch red marks.

I used to do it occasionally in the hope that DW would wake and be interested. I don't think I'm alone in my thoughts on that subject, so.....

I mean, worst case scenario is I make myself cum. Best case, we have sex. There are times where I felt like she knew and just pretended to sleep. That made me want to point my load at her when I was finishing. Never did.

I got my own bed. Crusty can jack it all night if he feels like it.

Anonymous wrote:During a dry spell I encouraged my husband to masterbate more as I was just exhausted with the kids. Usually I'd help him out, (and often would get excoted myself) but I'd at least nibble on his ear a bit.

I love this so much.

I masturbate in bed next to DW sometimes. I am not ashamed. Sometimes she helps, more often she does not. We have only had sex once in the last 3 months, and I need a release more often.

If I could not masturbate, I am not sure if I would still be faithful

During a dry spell I encouraged my husband to masterbate more as I was just exhausted with the kids. Usually I'd help him out, (and often would get excoted myself) but I'd at least nibble on his ear a bit. Sometimes I was just too tired and didn't help, and a couple times I was kind of annoyed with him or really tired and wanted him to do it somewhere else. He said he felt kind of sad and lonely if he felt like he was "hiding" in the bathroom to jerk off and he liked being near me and felt very loved when I helped out. I thought it was sweet and appreciated his consideration when I wasn't in the mood, but he really needed the release. Jump in there, it's a loving thing to do.

It's normal. Why should he leave the warm bed? Why do you feel you have a right to control him? Lots of people do this in front of each other and join in, too. It's part of having a healthy sex life together. I bet he'd like to have sex more often with you. Surprise the heck out of him and lean in on this one night. If he's anything like my husband, he'll adore you for it.

Anonymous wrote:I thought my DH was doing this. Turns out he had raging jock itch and was vigorously scratching his balls in his sleep.

Gross.

So it's not just at our house.....

Basically, you think masturbation is gross and you want to shame your husband for it.

Why wouldn't you mention it to him? I don't understand.

Orgasms help men sleep. Either help him or ignore it. Totally normal behavior by him.

I know you said that you don't have a problem with masturbation, but its sounds like this bothers you. If it does bother you, I agree with other posters that you should (very respectfully, without judgement) talk to him about it. But first you should figure out how you feel, what you would prefer to happen, and if your expectations are reasonable. Other posters have also pointed out that what he is doing is not wrong, that he is likely thinking of you, and/or not wanting to bother you and let you sleep. But asking him if that is what is behind it might help ease your mind. And, as several have said, maybe you could offer to help him out next time

Seriously, if you are awake anyway, why not lend a hand. Or tell him you know what he is doing and you will too. Until we did it, I never knew side by side could be so hot