Anonymous wrote:OP here- thanks everyone!! I'm going to look into some of these. Squats are ok...but I have to be careful to push my knees out when I do them or they can be terrible. Apparently my problem is a lack of butt muscles. But even when I worked on those at length...the pain in my knees persisted.
I've been to two PTs, but if anyone has better ideas for me, I'll all ears.
I have chronic pain in my knees, too. Pilates was life changing. I take reformer Pilates classes. It is expensive but so worth it. I started with private lessons which I think is so much better to help you learn the proper movement and tailor it to strengthening for your pain. Most studios offer a new student discount on a pack of private lessons. Even just a couple of private lessons and then into group classes is a great intro.
I don't think you have to find a classical Pilates studio but try a few to find one you like. Finding a really good instructor goes a long way.
If not, biking, swimming and elliptical are the best low impact options that most ortho/PT will recommend. I always still struggled with pain when doing those things but Pilates has never caused any knee pain for me.
Taking care of chronic pain takes a lot of time and energy. You can't just wish and hope for it to go away or just do a little bit and think it will improve. The only time it gets better is when I am consistent and consciously making the effort to take care of them.
Sometimes it takes awhile to find a really good PT that can give you what you need. I find it is generally pretty easy to find a PT when you are post-op but harder when you are looking for someone to help with chronic pain.
I also see a chiropractor which might help you as well.
Good luck!