Man here, my wife is SAHM, kids 7 and 10. She never went back. We never discussed it, before or after. It just made sense.

Despite what you read here on the mommy wars and women sniping at each other, the vast majority of men don't care one way or another whether their wives work after the kids come, provided two things:

1) they make enough money that the family is comfortable on one salary (definition of "enough money" varies wildly from couple to couple).
2) Man is happy in his job. If he hates it and is only working because he must and because wife won't go back to work, that is a problem.

Key is finding a man who has good earning potential and open minded. Most men aren't thinking about kids, let alone the arrangement.

Incomes of 500k+

Most men you're dating aren't going to understand until kids come along. Here is what men don't have any idea about:

1. That it can be horrible emotionally to leave your 12 week or younger baby to go back to work
2. That if you go back to work the baby might be waking multiple times during the night still
3. How expensive childcare is
4. How you'll need to outsource a lot if you're both out of the house for ten plus hours a day and how hectic life will be
5. That babies go to bed early which means you may only spend an hour or so a day with a baby if you're working

Obviously this isn't first date material. Instead I would focus on finding out how men grew up and their opinions on women working. I found a lot of men 100 percent wanted a sahm and others were turned off by the idea. I found a man who over time revealed he just wants me to be happy and wants a happy wife and child. I'll be returning to work but he'd be okay if I stayed home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To raise good children, you need a good, loving marriage.

Kids don't want a workaholic dad and a helicopter mom who tries to make up for the fact that dad's never home.

STFU! NO YOU DON'T. You just need the mom. Divorced moms raise good kids and they are not in a "good, loving marriage."

+1 on "no you don't". BTW, so do divorced dads with primary or full custody. I'm one of them

Anonymous wrote:I do not want to have to struggle as I am trying to raise my children. It is important to me that I can be home with them and give them everything they need and deserve.

I want to marry a man who can be a good provider and is okay with me putting the children first.

What should be my game plan?

Do engineers make good husbands?

Are you kidding or do you just want to be bludgeoned on this site? Read the Stepford Wives and you will find your answer. And yes, engineers do make great husbands because they really know how to put train sets together. I like Brio myself!

Anonymous wrote:To raise good children, you need a good, loving marriage.

Kids don't want a workaholic dad and a helicopter mom who tries to make up for the fact that dad's never home.

STFU! NO YOU DON'T. You just need the mom. Divorced moms raise good kids and they are not in a "good, loving marriage."

Anonymous wrote:Careful, I'm sure that's what Melania was going for and now look.

+1

If you marry for money, you will earn every penny.

My husband is Indian and was more than ok with me being a SAHM. Perhaps find someone from a traditional background if you're into foreign men.

Anonymous wrote:I do not want to have to struggle as I am trying to raise my children. It is important to me that I can be home with them and give them everything they need and deserve.

I want to marry a man who can be a good provider and is okay with me putting the children first.

What should be my game plan?

Do engineers make good husbands?

I'll play and pretend you aren't trolling for a fight about this. The answer is when you date men, you talk about what's important to you. During dating you say, "I want someone who is a good provider and let's me put the children first." and you continue dating until you find a guy that says, "hey, I want to provide and I will let you put the children first." then BAM!!! you have a match. easy-peasy.

The grass isn't always greener.

You might find yourself isolated, bored, or just not a baby-person/find toddlers difficult and actually crave adult interaction and WANT to go back to work.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like want to be a prostitute.

Sounds like want to be a prostitute.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Careful, I'm sure that's what Melania was going for and now look.

bwahaha!

She's the first lady. She did well!

Anonymous wrote:I do not want to have to struggle as I am trying to raise my children. It is important to me that I can be home with them and give them everything they need and deserve.

OP raising children is a challenge that people rise to. In other words, they are not ready or capable until the situation presents itself. You can plan ahead for many things in life, but nobody or nothing can guarantee that you won't struggle.

Anonymous wrote:Careful, I'm sure that's what Melania was going for and now look.

bwahaha!