Dad handed me a check for our down payment (20%) and I thanked him but handed it back. We wanted to do it on our own and we had saved what we needed to - though not sure he believed that ... It also made me feel that Dad would be less likely to voice any criticism in our choice, since he wasn't "invested". We ended up making a choice he thought was excellent, but what if we hadn't? And truth was it was a good guess he would offer the money again - and it just felt like when he did (and he did) it would have less strings.

When we were looking, my dad offered to "help out". And I know FIL would have if we asked. We never followed up as we had 20% saved on our own so didn't think we needed it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH knew his bar mitzvah money would be his future nest egg for a down payment on a house, but he didn't know how much to expect---and certainly didn't expect his parents to match it. Enabled us to put down more than 20%, which was a nice surprise.

Fwiw, I wouldn't promise anything to my kids. We are hoping to be able to pay for college, help with grad school, help with a wedding and down payment...but, no promises.

How much did he get for his bar mitzvah?

Not sure, and he's not sure either. His parents added to it over the years, and gave us additional money after they heard how much our first home cost. It was more than 20% for the down payment on our starter home (which was $300ish 15+ years ago).

Wow, that's great. My kids got about $3500 for their confirmations, so I was curious.

Really? I come from a religious UMC family and received zero money for baptism, first communion or confirmation.

UMC and no money here. We got small house warming gifts that totaled about $500 from parents and inlaws. We had several friends and two neighbors outright ask if we got gifted the downpayment money though, so it must be common.

Anonymous wrote:Hah! No.

I'm a Republican, which means I paid for it by myself.

Well, I'm a Democrat, and I paid for it by myself, too. So there you go.

When I got engaged my dad told me that he had $50k put aside for each of us kids and we could use it for a wedding, a down payment or whatever we liked (within reason - one of my siblings used it to help pay for grad school, for example). I used $25k to put towards our wedding, so when it came time to buy a house a few years later, I knew that other $25k was available to us.

My husband's parents on the other hand - it was only when we told them we planned to start looking for a house that they told us they would like to gift us $100k towards the down payment. It was a total shock to us (but obviously a very welcome one!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH knew his bar mitzvah money would be his future nest egg for a down payment on a house, but he didn't know how much to expect---and certainly didn't expect his parents to match it. Enabled us to put down more than 20%, which was a nice surprise.

Fwiw, I wouldn't promise anything to my kids. We are hoping to be able to pay for college, help with grad school, help with a wedding and down payment...but, no promises.

How much did he get for his bar mitzvah?

Not sure, and he's not sure either. His parents added to it over the years, and gave us additional money after they heard how much our first home cost. It was more than 20% for the down payment on our starter home (which was $300ish 15+ years ago).

Wow, that's great. My kids got about $3500 for their confirmations, so I was curious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH knew his bar mitzvah money would be his future nest egg for a down payment on a house, but he didn't know how much to expect---and certainly didn't expect his parents to match it. Enabled us to put down more than 20%, which was a nice surprise.

Fwiw, I wouldn't promise anything to my kids. We are hoping to be able to pay for college, help with grad school, help with a wedding and down payment...but, no promises.

How much did he get for his bar mitzvah?

Not sure, and he's not sure either. His parents added to it over the years, and gave us additional money after they heard how much our first home cost. It was more than 20% for the down payment on our starter home (which was $300ish 15+ years ago).

Anonymous wrote:DH knew his bar mitzvah money would be his future nest egg for a down payment on a house, but he didn't know how much to expect---and certainly didn't expect his parents to match it. Enabled us to put down more than 20%, which was a nice surprise.

Fwiw, I wouldn't promise anything to my kids. We are hoping to be able to pay for college, help with grad school, help with a wedding and down payment...but, no promises.

How much did he get for his bar mitzvah?

DH knew his bar mitzvah money would be his future nest egg for a down payment on a house, but he didn't know how much to expect---and certainly didn't expect his parents to match it. Enabled us to put down more than 20%, which was a nice surprise.

Fwiw, I wouldn't promise anything to my kids. We are hoping to be able to pay for college, help with grad school, help with a wedding and down payment...but, no promises.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not exactly the same, but I've always known I had trusts, and that I and even my great, great grandchildren would never have to work a day in our lives.

So I've always known.

You great great grandchildren? How much money are we talking? 100 million?

It would have to be more like 150 million. One person can have many descendants. Average 5 million per descendant.

Nice and congrats. Can you adopt me?

Sorry, we already adopted one kid. We're full.

Why won't you answer how much your trust is worth, it's anonymous anyway.

^^That wasn't me asking (that wants to be adopted). I'll take your word for it. : )

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not exactly the same, but I've always known I had trusts, and that I and even my great, great grandchildren would never have to work a day in our lives.

So I've always known.

You great great grandchildren? How much money are we talking? 100 million?

It would have to be more like 150 million. One person can have many descendants. Average 5 million per descendant.

Nice and congrats. Can you adopt me?

Sorry, we already adopted one kid. We're full.

Why won't you answer how much your trust is worth, it's anonymous anyway.

Because it's probably 5-10 million and she thinks that's filthy rich. Lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not exactly the same, but I've always known I had trusts, and that I and even my great, great grandchildren would never have to work a day in our lives.

So I've always known.

You great great grandchildren? How much money are we talking? 100 million?

It would have to be more like 150 million. One person can have many descendants. Average 5 million per descendant.

Nice and congrats. Can you adopt me?

Sorry, we already adopted one kid. We're full.

Why won't you answer how much your trust is worth, it's anonymous anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not exactly the same, but I've always known I had trusts, and that I and even my great, great grandchildren would never have to work a day in our lives.

So I've always known.

You great great grandchildren? How much money are we talking? 100 million?

It would have to be more like 150 million. One person can have many descendants. Average 5 million per descendant.

Nice and congrats. Can you adopt me?

Sorry, we already adopted one kid. We're full.

Anonymous wrote:Hah! No.

I'm a Republican, which means I paid for it by myself.

How noble of you to donate your trust to charity! Oh wait- you didn't have one? Were your parents democrats or something?