Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand.

I am a middle class 30 year old married woman. I am pro-life but believe in abortion for extreme circumstances such as rape, health of the mother being in danger and possibly fetus abnormalities. I pray and wish to never have to make this horrible decision in my life.

As such, I do not understand why this is such a widespread issue. For most everyday people...they will not have to hopefully deal with it. We don;t all want to abort as a plan B now do we?

Many people rightly see it as a means of controlling women by denying them agency over their own bodies and futures. The fact that so many pro life organizations are opposed to birth control and sex education bears this out. The best way to reduce abortion is by educating people and ensuring that they have access to affordable, effective birth control. But pro-life orgs typically oppose these measures, making it clear that their focus is on controlling women rather than preventing abortion.

This cannot be emphasized enough.

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand.

I am a middle class 30 year old married woman. I am pro-life but believe in abortion for extreme circumstances such as rape, health of the mother being in danger and possibly fetus abnormalities. I pray and wish to never have to make this horrible decision in my life.

As such, I do not understand why this is such a widespread issue. For most everyday people...they will not have to hopefully deal with it. We don;t all want to abort as a plan B now do we?

Many people rightly see it as a means of controlling women by denying them agency over their own bodies and futures. The fact that so many pro life organizations are opposed to birth control and sex education bears this out. The best way to reduce abortion is by educating people and ensuring that they have access to affordable, effective birth control. But pro-life orgs typically oppose these measures, making it clear that their focus is on controlling women rather than preventing abortion.

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand.

I am a middle class 30 year old married woman. I am pro-life but believe in abortion for extreme circumstances such as rape, health of the mother being in danger and possibly fetus abnormalities. I pray and wish to never have to make this horrible decision in my life.


As such, I do not understand why this is such a widespread issue. For most everyday people...they will not have to hopefully deal with it. We don;t all want to abort as a plan B now do we?

Because it's an economic issue; banning abortion doesn't work to actually prevent abortion, just makes abortion more dangerous and expensive. Although I am upper middle class, I sympathize with women who are less fortunate than I am.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

I think they don't care because they spend much more energy speaking out against abortions than they do speaking up for affordable childcare, broad and easy access to contraceptives, and other ways we can assist and help mothers.

IME a lot of the pro-life contingent is also the anti-welfare contingent. The people who speak with contempt about the poor black mom of 6 kids living off of the government. But maybe she wanted abortions and couldn't get them due to restrictive abortion facilities in her area because she lives in like, Texas.

It's personal because as a mother, I think all children should be planned and wanted!! I don't think aborting a 7 week old fetus is morally questionable. Women need to be able to control when and whether to have children, in order to make sure that they can be taken care of and wanted. And no, adoption is not the answer. Having gone through a slightly complicated pregnancy, it's not moral to force someone to do that with her body if she doesn't want to. Also I think the vast majority of women won't want to give up their *actual baby* when it is born ... leading to women having babies in less than ideal circumstances that could be bad for them and their children.

A question for pro-lifers: if your child needs an organ transplant to live, and you are a match, should the government be able to force you to give your child the organ? The question here isn't "should you give an organ" or "what would most parents choose to do" - the question is whether the government should be permitted to make that decision for you.

I am a white, married, educated, professional mother, and I am very pro-choice. I don't understand why you think it is any of your business, or the government's business, why someone may choose to have an abortion. My mom had one when my sister and I were kids because she and my dad decided that it was not a good decision to expand our family at that time. It was the right decision for our family, and no one regrets it. It is not the government's place to force women to continue unwanted pregnancies.

The issues I have are:
1. No one should be forced into parenthood.

2. No one should be forced to carry a fetus against their will.

3. I know it's a buzz phrase, but it really is a slippery slope when you start legislating someone's bodily autonomy, especially when it's so clearly directed at one gender.

4. Again, the consequences of unwanted pregnancy are beyond misaligned, with women being disproportionately saddled with the real life issues that result from parenthood. It took two to create, but man so many men high-tail it out of there at the sign of unwanted pregnancy, and the courts are simply not enforcing child support orders, or even issuing them, in some cases. Two people's mistake becomes one person's massive burden that has life-long consequences. To ONE of them.

5. Sometimes people flat out cannot afford to raise the child or even the medical expenses to have the child. I'm pretty sure that's where the PP was going when she said why do people stop caring once a baby is born. The social services that support mothers who can't afford their children are under constant attack. No one is really lining up to help; rather "you should have kept your legs closed if you couldn't afford it" is the more likely response, as if it was some immaculate conception, but I digress.

6. With those in mind, I don't believe that abortions trying to alleviate those consequences are frivolous. Ever.

7. Where is the parallel regulation of men's health? Nowhere to be found.

8. It's my body. Get out of it.

That's what comes to mind initially.

Anonymous wrote:I am also a middle class 30 year old married woman. I am white. I think your question belies a lot of selfishness.

I would never have too much trouble getting an abortion. I have access and money. But there are a lot of women who don't have access and who don't have money. Women in abusive relationships, women who can't travel 4 hours on a work day to get a procedure in a different state, women who can't afford to pay for an abortion out of pocket.

These women almost certainly don't want to end up getting an abortion but they might need one. Maybe their husband beats them and they don't want to bring a child into that. Maybe they're 18 and don't want their entire life defined by a sexual mistake made at that age. Maybe they have 5 kids and know another one would break their family. Maybe the birth control failed and they don't want to be a mother. Maybe they found out that they will have an extremely special needs child and they know they won't be able to care for that child financially or emotionally.

Regardless of the circumstances, one mistake should not condemn a woman to a risky health status that can and does result in injury and death to some women. They shouldn't be condemned to seek out coat hanger abortions and risk infection and death that way. They shouldn't be forced (and its always the woman, not the man who is forced) to be a mother for the rest of their lives. Certainly not when as a society that we don't support them.

This. I am pro-choice because I realize legislating reality doesn't change it, and that the result of restricting abortions just makes unplanned pregnancies more dangerous for women and in a way that disproportionately harms the more vulnerable segments of the population.

I also get frustrated with the cult of 'personal responsibility' because, again, I think it ignores the actual realities of human psychology for what folks want them to be.

That said I am more than happy to reach across the aisle to work with pro-lifers on initiatives that would reduce the number of women seeking abortions in the first place. For example making long-acting birth control free and readily accessible has been shown to be incredibly effective at preventing pregnancies and improving statistics on the well-being of women, and is also cheaper overall since paying do an IUD is exponentialy less expensive than paying for a baby.

I have a friend who has a DD with Full Trisomy 18.
Most babies with this die before birth or during childbirth, The few that survive rarely make it to the first birthday. It is a severe disability for those that make it past that.
If you find out late in your pregnancy that your child has this I believe you should have the choice on what to do. You shouldnt be forced watch your child suffer through everything, lose your house because of medical expenses and have to fight every single day for basic services.
If you chose to do this then I applaud you, but it should be your choice.

These are the kids I dont see the pro-lifers raising.

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand.

I am a middle class 30 year old married woman. I am pro-life but believe in abortion for extreme circumstances such as rape, health of the mother being in danger and possibly fetus abnormalities. I pray and wish to never have to make this horrible decision in my life.

As such, I do not understand why this is such a widespread issue. For most everyday people...they will not have to hopefully deal with it. We don;t all want to abort as a plan B now do we?

It is personal because it is my life and my body. People think they know better than I do wrt my own body and life. The choice to have children is a personal choice. The choice to have or not have a child is one that a woman should make with consultation with her partner and her doctor.

I am pro-choice. I have two children from two pregnancies. I needed clomid to ovulate so I could get pregnant with my first child. When that did not work for the second, I chose to stop trying because the next level of drugs would produce many eggs and I did not want to do selective reduction if more than 2 attached. I was also opposed to IVF for the same reason. For me, that was my line and frankly it surprised me. I ended up spontaneously ovulating later and became pregnant with my second child. It was my first spontaneous ovulation in 5 years. A welcome planned for surprise. He is now 17 and graduating from HS in June.

I don't think the state should interfere with that decision that so personally affects me and my life. It is a personal decision.

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree with you- I think it should be available in cases of abnormalities, rape of a young child etc. . I think it is personal b/c

a) its been marketed to women that they carry and bring life so they should be at the forefront of protecting children born and unborn b) Most importantly a lot of people believe that a child within the womb is just as much a person as one outside the womb and it is murder to end that life in the same way that it is murder to throw an hours old infant in a trash dumpster. Logically they are completely correct and it is gross that abortion of a 4 month fetus is used as birth control to the extent that it is.

I also belong to a faith that says that the soul enters the fetus, not the embryo , so at the beginning of the 2nd trimester and that an embryo as well as an egg or sperm carry the potential for life but are not human. We also don't permit artificial insemination by a man other than one's husband or surrugacy so each faith has its own guidelines and these are very strong. I think that its good that women who begin life begins at conception follow through on that but I think that there has to be just as a push for the welfare of those children and mothers after birth as well and also universal coverage and access, in fact a push, for birth control for couples who will not be be able raise their children independently.

I just think abortion is a serious medical procedure that should be only used as a last resort in horrible unfathomable circumstances and not as a "Oh shit! I forgot my birth control again!" plan B.

Woman hate to hear this but pregnancy and sex is a big deal. Couples should have sex carefully with the knowledge that there is a very real chance of getting pregnant. Do not punish a poor unborn child because of your bad choices.

I'll never understand someone who calls themselves "pro-life" or anti-abortion, but is ok with abortion in the exception of rape. If you think it's a life, isn't it still murder for you?

Ultimately, I don't believe I am qualified to define what is meant by "extreme circumstances" for other women. What about mental/emotional health, and not just physical? Even financial health is important. I am fit to make decisions for myself - but I am unfit to make such permanent decisions for other women. I trust other women to know what's best for themselves and their circumstances. I do not know them better than they know themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

NP but the #1 abortions that pro life groups talk about are late term abortions. MOST of those late term abortions are for the life of mother or because of severe defects. Pretty sure women don't want to have frivolous abortions either...

My issues are with the ones that AREN'T for the life of mother or defects.

This is silly, most reasonable people can distinguish between a necessary abortion in unfortunate circumstances vs using abortion as a plan B because a woman had sex without protection.

NO the government CANNOT distinguish between a necessary abortion!!! I was the poster whose baby was incompatible with life. I'm a federal employee and was banned from having my insurance and my personal OB perform my abortion. Obviously the government said that my abortion was unnecessary.

Please read LIVID's story. She too was a federal employee.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

because if they really cared we wouldnt have any kids in foster homes.
If you want to be pro life that fine, then step up and provide a home for a child that was born unwanted.

Absolutely, I agree with you. I would love to provide a safe home for unwanted children. Its something we need to work on as a society.