Anonymous wrote:OP, I am guessing you live in the city, based on where you are looking for childcare. DC has free PK3, so you will see some cost savings next year (you may still need to pay for aftercare, etc).

If you live in the burbs and are looking for childcare near your office, know that daycare is cheaper outside D.C. I paid about $1300/month for a center in Alexandria.

But I agree with PPs: look at the big picture of 401k contributions, maybe insurance savings or better options, diversified income streams, and you being able to support yourself if things go south.

And if your gut says you would rather stay home because it works better for your family, that's a legitimate option as well.

Looks like that was past tense. When was the last time you paid for a center? Even the cheapest place I found in Old Town is $300/month than that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

and the fact that he likes/needs to kick up his feet after work... I think he would resent me a good deal if I started working, brought in little money and added work for him because he'd have to share housework.

I would like to space out after work with a drink while someone cooks me dinner too... but I live in the real world. Whoever makes half the mess, eats half the food, and had the sex to make the baby gets to do half the housework. Time for him to suck it up.

Seriously!!! If my dh would like to kick up his feet after work, he'd need to hire a housekeeper. You need to adjust your dh's expectations. My dh does 50% and is glad he isn't having to do 100%.

My DH can kick up his feet after work once dinner is done, cleaned up, and kids are in bed. But he doesn't - he either logs back onto work or does stuff around the house. It took two of you to make a baby, it takes two of you to raise it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am guessing you live in the city, based on where you are looking for childcare. DC has free PK3, so you will see some cost savings next year (you may still need to pay for aftercare, etc).

If you live in the burbs and are looking for childcare near your office, know that daycare is cheaper outside D.C. I paid about $1300/month for a center in Alexandria.

But I agree with PPs: look at the big picture of 401k contributions, maybe insurance savings or better options, diversified income streams, and you being able to support yourself if things go south.

And if your gut says you would rather stay home because it works better for your family, that's a legitimate option as well.

That is not true. We are at a center in Rockville, and we pay $2100 a month for infant daycare. At 2, it would be $1850. This is not an expensive center, and the cost is comparable to others in the area.

That is not true for you. That doesn't mean it is not true.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am guessing you live in the city, based on where you are looking for childcare. DC has free PK3, so you will see some cost savings next year (you may still need to pay for aftercare, etc).

If you live in the burbs and are looking for childcare near your office, know that daycare is cheaper outside D.C. I paid about $1300/month for a center in Alexandria.

But I agree with PPs: look at the big picture of 401k contributions, maybe insurance savings or better options, diversified income streams, and you being able to support yourself if things go south.

And if your gut says you would rather stay home because it works better for your family, that's a legitimate option as well.

That is not true. We are at a center in Rockville, and we pay $2100 a month for infant daycare. At 2, it would be $1850. This is not an expensive center, and the cost is comparable to others in the area.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you all for your answers. It is my husband and I, but I look at how much childcare costs comparing to my salary alone to figure how much my working would add to our income. Then factor in the stress of having two working parents, and the fact that he likes/needs to kick up his feet after work... I think he would resent me a good deal if I started working, brought in little money and added work for him because he'd have to share housework. idk.

I think I should take the job, too, especially because this one seems to have fallen in my lap almost by chance.

Dear god, what kind of boor did you marry?!?

Our daycare for 2 is almost $3,500, way far out of the city. Seems like you're getting a good deal.

I agree with PP's re: it is your entire comp package, future earning potential, retirement (SSA), and, most importantly, happiness that matter.

If you WANT to stay home, that's another matter. But, please for the love of pete do not factor in DH wanting to kick up his feet after work. So did I. So did my DH. Times change when you have children and expectations adjust (or should) accordingly. My DH does 50% and, like PP said, is darn lucky he isn't doing 100%.

OP, I am guessing you live in the city, based on where you are looking for childcare. DC has free PK3, so you will see some cost savings next year (you may still need to pay for aftercare, etc).

If you live in the burbs and are looking for childcare near your office, know that daycare is cheaper outside D.C. I paid about $1300/month for a center in Alexandria.

But I agree with PPs: look at the big picture of 401k contributions, maybe insurance savings or better options, diversified income streams, and you being able to support yourself if things go south.

And if your gut says you would rather stay home because it works better for your family, that's a legitimate option as well.

Anonymous wrote:Factor in things other than the immediate cost/benefit analysis. Look toward future earning power and what will happen when your child no longer needs daycare. What about Social Security contributions, matching 401k benefits and other benefits? It's not all about the money right now. Think long term.

+1

My husband was a SAHD, and one of our children went to school this year and the other didn't do well at home so needed a daycare environment. He got a full-time job that isn't the most amazing paying in the world, but he loves it, it covers the cost of daycare (and then some), and he got out of the house.

For the last ten years I had done none of the cooking or shopping, and now I do the weekly grocery trips and do some cooking. I even take out the garbage regularly now, something I only did sporadically as a treat to him before. Yes, I like to kick my feet up after work (mainly involving spending time with my kids), but so does he, and I did consider a full day home with two kids a lot of work.

So, if you want this job, take it. He should be able to step up a bit. It's a bit absurd for him to expect you to be a full-time SAHM and do all of the housework anyway.

I will have two toddlers in daycare preschool--I estimated 60K a year minimum. Which is doable in my field.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

and the fact that he likes/needs to kick up his feet after work... I think he would resent me a good deal if I started working, brought in little money and added work for him because he'd have to share housework.

I would like to space out after work with a drink while someone cooks me dinner too... but I live in the real world. Whoever makes half the mess, eats half the food, and had the sex to make the baby gets to do half the housework. Time for him to suck it up.

Seriously!!! If my dh would like to kick up his feet after work, he'd need to hire a housekeeper. You need to adjust your dh's expectations. My dh does 50% and is glad he isn't having to do 100%.

NP here. I'm a WOHM and my DH is doing close to 100% of the housework since I'm pregnant again.

Sounds like your DH needs to accept that it's the 21st century.

Anonymous wrote:

and the fact that he likes/needs to kick up his feet after work... I think he would resent me a good deal if I started working, brought in little money and added work for him because he'd have to share housework.

I would like to space out after work with a drink while someone cooks me dinner too... but I live in the real world. Whoever makes half the mess, eats half the food, and had the sex to make the baby gets to do half the housework. Time for him to suck it up.

Seriously!!! If my dh would like to kick up his feet after work, he'd need to hire a housekeeper. You need to adjust your dh's expectations. My dh does 50% and is glad he isn't having to do 100%.

and the fact that he likes/needs to kick up his feet after work... I think he would resent me a good deal if I started working, brought in little money and added work for him because he'd have to share housework.

I would like to space out after work with a drink while someone cooks me dinner too... but I live in the real world. Whoever makes half the mess, eats half the food, and had the sex to make the baby gets to do half the housework. Time for him to suck it up.

Thank you all for your answers. It is my husband and I, but I look at how much childcare costs comparing to my salary alone to figure how much my working would add to our income. Then factor in the stress of having two working parents, and the fact that he likes/needs to kick up his feet after work... I think he would resent me a good deal if I started working, brought in little money and added work for him because he'd have to share housework. idk.

I think I should take the job, too, especially because this one seems to have fallen in my lap almost by chance.

We're at a great inhome daycare for $250 a week. We looked at childcare centers though and the most expensive was $350 a week. So you can definitely get cheaper than $1800 a year.

But yeah, welcome to life as a WOHM. The news likes to discuss college costs, but it's really childcare that's unaffordable in this country. Btw, infant care is much pricier than care for a 2 year old.

I think you should take the job though. As long as you're clearing 45k or so, you should be able to break even and then next year you would probably get a raise.