I have 3 boys and, if I'm being totally honest, wish I had had a girl because my boys are gorgeous and I would have loved to see what a female child of ours would look like.

As for taking care of you when you get old, I think this is actually a slightly mis-directed thing. Boys take care of their parents. Usually as well or better than daughters. But boys aren't going to visit as often just to visit or call to say hi and chat for hours. But this is why I have friends. And
Y husband. And my sister and brother.

And on the MIL/DIL thing - I feel like having sons is preferable here - My sons will be totally oblivious to any issues I have with their future wives. I can shield them from that. Being a male is just so much easier in that sense.

i know this is so taboo on here, but why does everyone who only has girls pretend they're so content with this?

Anonymous wrote:I have a girl and TBH, I'm kind of hoping she's not going to be a sitting quietly getting a mani pedi, or shopping kind of girl. I'm hoping she's going to be a mountain biking, hiking, ball of sass. But, she's going to be who she is, and I'm already anticipating I'm going to have to learn to use glitter and eyeshadow.

My SIL is deeply depressed about not having a girl. She had two really great little boys and can't even appreciate what an awesome family she has.

I wonder how many of you women deeply pining for a girl have unresolved mommy issues, or self esteem issues? Is it about wanting to mold someone into a mini me?

Your last sentence is spot on. Lots of insecure women prefer girls. This thread is a perfect example.

I have a girl and TBH, I'm kind of hoping she's not going to be a sitting quietly getting a mani pedi, or shopping kind of girl. I'm hoping she's going to be a mountain biking, hiking, ball of sass. But, she's going to be who she is, and I'm already anticipating I'm going to have to learn to use glitter and eyeshadow.

My SIL is deeply depressed about not having a girl. She had two really great little boys and can't even appreciate what an awesome family she has.

I wonder how many of you women deeply pining for a girl have unresolved mommy issues, or self esteem issues? Is it about wanting to mold someone into a mini me?

OP here: my next door neighbor had two boys, was totally fertile, did IVF with gender selection to get a girl, and now has a girl (age 3). she was and is super open with people that they did IVF to have a girl, because they had two boys. i am shocked by how well, in real life, everyone treats her. but on DC Urbanmom it's like god forbid a woman admit that she wanted a girl or is sad not to have one.

my other friend has 3 boys and openly admits to being jealous of all the calm, dainty girls (her boys are 2, 4, and 7) and how much less rambunctious it is. one of our other friends has 3 girls and when we're all together the boys are madness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:cause I didn't really want a girl to begin with...(I mean if we're being honest here.)

I can't imagine anyone saying that they don't want girls... except maybe Asians in the old country.

GL with that, because boys will not take care of you in old age.

I have two boys, and this is one of my big fears. Do you realize how unkind it is to say that about a situation over which we have no control? How cruel.

That said, my FIL took wonderful care of his mother (who had 3 boys) in her old age. At least I'm raising my sons in a household full of kindness, unlike yours.

It really isn't cruel, just stupid. My great grandmother's children all took turns caring for her in her own home until her death. The sons provided the bulk of the care because their wives were still busy helping out their own children. While a woman could
Do the heavy work, it was physically easier for the males to chop, stack wood, run the wood stove, shovel and all the rest of the home care. They were all
Also raised to be great cooks.

Raise your child with love and give them wings. Having children doesn't promise anyone will care for you. Just like having a ds means you get a rough annd tumbleProtector or have a girl to shop with and decorate. It's all A crap shoot based on who your child is, and the hope that the relationship is positive. Don't fear things, make a plan for your life that YOU control.

I'm content to be the mom of boys. I don't spend too much time fretting about not having a girl actually. Yes, there are times when I see a mother daughter pair out shopping together, or watching a chick flick or going to a girl's concert or getting their nails done, etc and I feel a little pang. But, that's about the extent of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:cause I didn't really want a girl to begin with...(I mean if we're being honest here.)

I can't imagine anyone saying that they don't want girls... except maybe Asians in the old country.

GL with that, because boys will not take care of you in old age.

Why are you so angry? Anyway, I am the only daughter and I have two brothers. I live in DC and my brothers live on the west coast a few miles from. Y parents. They are 100% the ones who step up and take care of my parents and plan to for the rest of their lives. I'm so grateful for them and for my parents who raised boys to be such amazing men and men who married loving wives who also are there for my parents. Wish I could be closer to help, but I can't for now.

I wish you peace, because it sounds like you have some pent up anger

I love my two boys. Men now, actually. but I have no sisters, had a nonfunctioning mother (a pretty good grandmother, but didn't see that much of her) and no granddaughters. Yes, a female somewhere in there would have been nice.

And the DIL thing is way more complicated than one might imagine until you get there.

I have 2 boys and openly said I wanted girls for years. I am now pregnant with my 3rd and she is a girl. Everyone knows how I excited I am.

I'll admit it for sure! I wish I had a girl. My boys are high energy. I envy the mom sitting with her daughter nicely eating lunch or getting mani pedis. I love my boys tons don't get me wrong but I admit a girl would be lovely!

lol we have three boys and trying for a fourth child that we hope is a boy! We never wanted girls but of course happy either way

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:cause I didn't really want a girl to begin with...(I mean if we're being honest here.)

I can't imagine anyone saying that they don't want girls... except maybe Asians in the old country.

GL with that, because boys will not take care of you in old age.

I'm the one you're responding to. Its anonymous here, so yes, I can admit that my preference was for boys (I have 2), but would gladly have accepted whatever I was given. And you second assumption is patently false too. My brother has a much closer relationship with our parents than I do. If there's anyone that's going to "take care of them in old age" its him. Don't jump down my throat for saying that, I'm not abandoning my parents, but he's closer both emotionally and geographically. My husband is also one of two boys, his mom recently had a health scare and he was on the next plane out to look after her when he felt his dad wasn't being proactive enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:cause I didn't really want a girl to begin with...(I mean if we're being honest here.)

I can't imagine anyone saying that they don't want girls... except maybe Asians in the old country.

GL with that, because boys will not take care of you in old age.

Without even addressing the inaccuracy of your statement, I'll just say good! The last thing I want is for my child to feel it is their responsibility to take care of me. My parents are the same way and make it very clear they have carefully planned, so that they can avoid any burden on us at all costs. Instead, they mapped out a plan they think will make them most happy and, so far, it's going well. While I would care for them, if needed, I appreciate that they have done what they can to ensure I can live my life without worrying about their care. I hope to do the same for my ds.

I have two boys. What makes you think I'm pretending to be content? That's really bizarre. I honestly didn't have a preference either way, I did not pine for a girl, so there is nothing to admit.

Sorry to disappoint you.