Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry your son is having so many problems and making your life miseable. But a see two very important positive things: he likes baseball and apparently functions well as part of a team and he has friends. To me these indicate that his social skills are good. I am a grandma and raised three kids, 2 of whom were horrible teenagers and did the stuff you described. The are both now successful adults with lovely ( and sometimes mouthy ) children of their own. This may seem like a stange suggestion but you might try one of the good parochial schools that is super focussed on sports and then board him at Prep where there is very good baseball coaching.In the meantime try to let him do what makes him happy. The Catholic schools are firm but less insitutional than MCPS. In one sense the kids are freer and there is much less academic pressure. I would suggest spending more time with him, not less. I know he will complain but take him to sports events. Take a friend of his along and go out to eat and just sit back and listen without comment to their conversation. If you like the outdoors take him camping or fishing with a friend or two even if he says he doesn't want to go. He is scared and angry about something and you need to de-escalate the tension between you. He needs you. Alot of people will now post that I am suggesting rewarding bad behavior. What Im suggesting is just quietly being with your son and trying to enjoy his positive traits.

+1. This brings me back to my unhappy childhood. I simply wanted to be loved and accepted.

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry your son is having so many problems and making your life miseable. But a see two very important positive things: he likes baseball and apparently functions well as part of a team and he has friends. To me these indicate that his social skills are good. I am a grandma and raised three kids, 2 of whom were horrible teenagers and did the stuff you described. The are both now successful adults with lovely ( and sometimes mouthy ) children of their own. This may seem like a stange suggestion but you might try one of the good parochial schools that is super focussed on sports and then board him at Prep where there is very good baseball coaching.In the meantime try to let him do what makes him happy. The Catholic schools are firm but less insitutional than MCPS. In one sense the kids are freer and there is much less academic pressure. I would suggest spending more time with him, not less. I know he will complain but take him to sports events. Take a friend of his along and go out to eat and just sit back and listen without comment to their conversation. If you like the outdoors take him camping or fishing with a friend or two even if he says he doesn't want to go. He is scared and angry about something and you need to de-escalate the tension between you. He needs you. Alot of people will now post that I am suggesting rewarding bad behavior. What Im suggesting is just quietly being with your son and trying to enjoy his positive traits.

Anonymous wrote:We are looking into sending our current 7th grader to boarding school. He is a B student who puts in no effort currently at school (MCPS) and has become increasingly difficult to deal with at home.
Anyway, looking for any help in getting started with research or recommendations. I'm lost as to even where to start other than google searches.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the behaviors that you describe from yesterday indicate that your son has moved from obstinacy and defiance into deliberate and escalating instigation. This is very concerning.

You should contact the therapist to alert him/her as well as to gain guidance. You should schedule an appointment for your son with your pediatrician for a physical asap - you may want to alert the pediatrician ahead of time about why. You should meet with his core team teachers as well to get a handle on what they are seeing: meaning, is the behavior isolated to the home environment or are they seeing the same changes in behavior?

Something is going dramatically wrong and you need to move swiftly to determine what it is so that you can help your son.

Thanks and we have already done most of these.

Pediatrician - says its hormones, typical teen.
Therapist - Aware of the issues and has been working with him for about 3-4 months. We also go as a family and separate from him.
Psychiatrist - Has prescribed intuniv which thinks will help take away some potential anxiety. He has had violent outbursts in the past in which has destroyed property and hit us with hands and thrown objects at us
School - Until recently grades have been holding steady. Recently, he has essentially given up. Didn't bother turning in a project last week. Spoke to counselor who spoke with all his teachers and no problems in class other than being too social at times.
Friends - Plenty of friends and no issues. Very outgoing and everyone seems to like him and gravitate towards him.
Coaches - No issues, gets along with all.
Sibling - Gets along well with older sister. Although, she is tired of his non-sense as well. He sneaks on her computer when left unlocked to watch porn.

Not sure what else we can do. We take away privileges when he does not listen or follow rules and give things back when he does something well.
For example, when he texts girls ask for nude pics we take the phone away. Last Sunday, he asked for a game on his phone which I proceeded to download while doing that a text came in with a photo of the math homework, which he asked a friend to send.
He sneaks out of his room in the middle of night to go into basement to watch tv, so we put controls on the tv to limit hours.
He has stolen credit cards and gift cards from my wallet and racked up several hundred dollars on xbox. We then put parental controls on hist account so he could not buy anything. He then used my work laptop left on the kitchen counter one night to log into my xbox account and changed the settings to allow him to purchase again and then took gift cards from my wallet and added to his account another $300.
He has called a phone sex line and racked up $200 with an expired credit card he found. They sent a collection agency after me.

Anonymous wrote:OP, the behaviors that you describe from yesterday indicate that your son has moved from obstinacy and defiance into deliberate and escalating instigation. This is very concerning.

You should contact the therapist to alert him/her as well as to gain guidance. You should schedule an appointment for your son with your pediatrician for a physical asap - you may want to alert the pediatrician ahead of time about why. You should meet with his core team teachers as well to get a handle on what they are seeing: meaning, is the behavior isolated to the home environment or are they seeing the same changes in behavior?

Something is going dramatically wrong and you need to move swiftly to determine what it is so that you can help your son.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he had absolutely no activities available to him and he became bored and spiteful. You might want to work with a therapist to come up with ongoing activities that are actually interesting to him.

It not the first time. He sees a therapist once a week when he agrees to go. He plays on three basketball teams and has practice 4 days week including last night. This all happened between 3:30 and 6:30.