Anonymous
01/11/2017 13:07
Subject: Re:s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:For the right woman, not that much.
If you meet the right woman and you both work your asses off and save for a couple of years, she can stay home or you can stay home while the kids are young.
In the greater scheme of things, marrying the right person is more important than having a stay at home parent.
My DH does not make enough for me to stay home indefinitely, but I have never met any other guy I would rather be with. And I would not want him working longer hours either so I could stay home. We are cheap and we get by now. I'll be back to work soon. We are very happy, and we would be very happy even if I went back to work 6 weeks after the birth of each of our children.
Staying at home is one of those things that works in a marriage that already works. It enhances a good marriage, but it does not create one.
I'm a great spouse. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would want to SAH. I married for love, not money. We saved our asses off before kids, but that only allowed us to buy a nice house in a good school district. DH makes 100k and it's not enough to allow either of us to SAH. We really struggle with making our lives function.
I just feel caught between a rock and a hard place. No flexibility for dh and I and we also don't make enough for one of us to SAH. Some days I wish I had married for money like a lot of my friends did.
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:56
Subject: Re:s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
For the right woman, not that much.
If you meet the right woman and you both work your asses off and save for a couple of years, she can stay home or you can stay home while the kids are young.
In the greater scheme of things, marrying the right person is more important than having a stay at home parent.
My DH does not make enough for me to stay home indefinitely, but I have never met any other guy I would rather be with. And I would not want him working longer hours either so I could stay home. We are cheap and we get by now. I'll be back to work soon. We are very happy, and we would be very happy even if I went back to work 6 weeks after the birth of each of our children.
Staying at home is one of those things that works in a marriage that already works. It enhances a good marriage, but it does not create one.
If you meet the right woman and you both work your asses off and save for a couple of years, she can stay home or you can stay home while the kids are young.
In the greater scheme of things, marrying the right person is more important than having a stay at home parent.
My DH does not make enough for me to stay home indefinitely, but I have never met any other guy I would rather be with. And I would not want him working longer hours either so I could stay home. We are cheap and we get by now. I'll be back to work soon. We are very happy, and we would be very happy even if I went back to work 6 weeks after the birth of each of our children.
Staying at home is one of those things that works in a marriage that already works. It enhances a good marriage, but it does not create one.
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:56
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:500k + in a HCOL area like DC
In DCUM, anything less than a $500k HHI makes you a peasant
This.
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:55
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
GS *GS *vs
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:54
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:By mistake, I read the other thread about all women aspiring to be housewives. Need to know what I'm working with here.
Why, what did you read in the other thread that concerned you?
Because I've never been driven by a desire to "provide" for someone. Am I in the minority?
Do you even have kids?? DH and I both wanted to work (and we do) but it was heartbreaking not having a choice between working and staying home.
No kids. I recently finished grad school and have been getting my career started in DC. But I do not realistically foresee my income increasing beyond low six figures. I guess I just didn't realize this was such a deal breaker for women this day in age.
Come back and tell us how tired and stressed you are when both you and your wife work long inflexible hours, don't have time for your kids and your family is stressed. You are naive.
This is exactly the problem. Many lower middle class strivers come to high COL areas and do jobs they love or have an important mission, only to realize later they should have been chasing the $$$ if they want kids and TIME to see those kids.
OP this DH learned this lesson the hard way and my career is too advanced to change to make more lucrative. But you should tack now into and be more ambitious about income. I was so excited to make twice as much as my parents had ever made together, $80k... hah hah was so naive. Probably still naive because I really have no idea how people swing these $500k careers. But do wish I had investigated when I was younger and could take more risk.
OP - I did not come from a LMC background. Maybe my outlook is skewed because I was raised in a two income household. My mother still works because she loves her job and she is at the top of her field.
I am also clueless as to what these high-income individuals do for a living. I have friends working in numerous fields and none of them are raking in 250k+. In addition, there is little chance they ever will. Those jobs are difficult to come by. I cannot imagine just waltzing in to a job like that.
What schools did your friends go to?
Medical specialist, 5th year big law associate, high finance, 2-3years post MBA at MBB consulting - those are the four paths I know tons of late 20/early 30 people making 250k+
Did you go to a top school or tailgate state?
LMC DH here, I actually went to a top school (Ivy) but hung out with other science geeks and had no idea about income spectrum between highly educated scientists and engineers GS doctors, MBA, and never even heard of MBB.
And a parent staying home was easy back home, you can pick up an 80s home for $70k with seven schools. Just no jobs which was the catch I figured out too late
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:53
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:By mistake, I read the other thread about all women aspiring to be housewives. Need to know what I'm working with here.
Why, what did you read in the other thread that concerned you?
Because I've never been driven by a desire to "provide" for someone. Am I in the minority?
Do you even have kids?? DH and I both wanted to work (and we do) but it was heartbreaking not having a choice between working and staying home.
No kids. I recently finished grad school and have been getting my career started in DC. But I do not realistically foresee my income increasing beyond low six figures. I guess I just didn't realize this was such a deal breaker for women this day in age.
Come back and tell us how tired and stressed you are when both you and your wife work long inflexible hours, don't have time for your kids and your family is stressed. You are naive.
This is exactly the problem. Many lower middle class strivers come to high COL areas and do jobs they love or have an important mission, only to realize later they should have been chasing the $$$ if they want kids and TIME to see those kids.
OP this DH learned this lesson the hard way and my career is too advanced to change to make more lucrative. But you should tack now into and be more ambitious about income. I was so excited to make twice as much as my parents had ever made together, $80k... hah hah was so naive. Probably still naive because I really have no idea how people swing these $500k careers. But do wish I had investigated when I was younger and could take more risk.
OP - I did not come from a LMC background. Maybe my outlook is skewed because I was raised in a two income household. My mother still works because she loves her job and she is at the top of her field.
I am also clueless as to what these high-income individuals do for a living. I have friends working in numerous fields and none of them are raking in 250k+. In addition, there is little chance they ever will. Those jobs are difficult to come by. I cannot imagine just waltzing in to a job like that.
What schools did your friends go to?
Medical specialist, 5th year big law associate, high finance, 2-3years post MBA at MBB consulting - those are the four paths I know tons of late 20/early 30 people making 250k+
Did you go to a top school or tailgate state?
I went to fine school in Nashville, TN. Not friends with many lawyers. My friends in finance are not making "high finance" money. Most work for brand name consulting firms where it is likely that they will leave before reaching 250k+. For the vast majority of graduates, even at top schools, that kind of salary is not a reality. I don't know what else to say. IMO, it's unfair that some people just expect it.
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:50
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:By mistake, I read the other thread about all women aspiring to be housewives. Need to know what I'm working with here.
Why, what did you read in the other thread that concerned you?
Because I've never been driven by a desire to "provide" for someone. Am I in the minority?
Do you even have kids?? DH and I both wanted to work (and we do) but it was heartbreaking not having a choice between working and staying home.
No kids. I recently finished grad school and have been getting my career started in DC. But I do not realistically foresee my income increasing beyond low six figures. I guess I just didn't realize this was such a deal breaker for women this day in age.
Come back and tell us how tired and stressed you are when both you and your wife work long inflexible hours, don't have time for your kids and your family is stressed. You are naive.
This is exactly the problem. Many lower middle class strivers come to high COL areas and do jobs they love or have an important mission, only to realize later they should have been chasing the $$$ if they want kids and TIME to see those kids.
OP this DH learned this lesson the hard way and my career is too advanced to change to make more lucrative. But you should tack now into and be more ambitious about income. I was so excited to make twice as much as my parents had ever made together, $80k... hah hah was so naive. Probably still naive because I really have no idea how people swing these $500k careers. But do wish I had investigated when I was younger and could take more risk.
OP - I did not come from a LMC background. Maybe my outlook is skewed because I was raised in a two income household. My mother still works because she loves her job and she is at the top of her field.
I am also clueless as to what these high-income individuals do for a living. I have friends working in numerous fields and none of them are raking in 250k+. In addition, there is little chance they ever will. Those jobs are difficult to come by. I cannot imagine just waltzing in to a job like that.
What schools did your friends go to?
Medical specialist, 5th year big law associate, high finance, 2-3years post MBA at MBB consulting - those are the four paths I know tons of late 20/early 30 people making 250k+
Did you go to a top school or tailgate state?
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:40
Subject: Re:s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
As a single parent who is raising her kid on <45k a year average INCLUDING child support in Fairfax County, VA with NO government assistance and they are still an honor roll student in HS..... *leaves thread*
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:34
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:By mistake, I read the other thread about all women aspiring to be housewives. Need to know what I'm working with here.
Why, what did you read in the other thread that concerned you?
Because I've never been driven by a desire to "provide" for someone. Am I in the minority?
Get over yourself. My husband doesn't "provide" for me. We made a joint decision to do what we thought was best for our children and each other. We are a team. Both of us provide for each other, monetary and otherwise.
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:28
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
I think it's just a different mindset if you happen to make a lot of money. If you do, then the truth is you have more flexibility in EVERYTHING, including whether a parent can not work or not.
I don't think it's necessarily that person A sets out to make a lot of money SO THAT he can support a wife. It's more like a by product of the fact that he already does.
I don't think it's necessarily that person A sets out to make a lot of money SO THAT he can support a wife. It's more like a by product of the fact that he already does.
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:28
Subject: Re:s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
I'm a DW and earn around $500k. So you'd have to earn a decent amount to "provide" for me.
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:20
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:By mistake, I read the other thread about all women aspiring to be housewives. Need to know what I'm working with here.
Why, what did you read in the other thread that concerned you?
Because I've never been driven by a desire to "provide" for someone. Am I in the minority?
+1. Bizarre and antiquated, unless you're talking about a child.
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:18
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:By mistake, I read the other thread about all women aspiring to be housewives. Need to know what I'm working with here.
Why, what did you read in the other thread that concerned you?
Because I've never been driven by a desire to "provide" for someone. Am I in the minority?
Do you even have kids?? DH and I both wanted to work (and we do) but it was heartbreaking not having a choice between working and staying home.
No kids. I recently finished grad school and have been getting my career started in DC. But I do not realistically foresee my income increasing beyond low six figures. I guess I just didn't realize this was such a deal breaker for women this day in age.
Come back and tell us how tired and stressed you are when both you and your wife work long inflexible hours, don't have time for your kids and your family is stressed. You are naive.
This is exactly the problem. Many lower middle class strivers come to high COL areas and do jobs they love or have an important mission, only to realize later they should have been chasing the $$$ if they want kids and TIME to see those kids.
OP this DH learned this lesson the hard way and my career is too advanced to change to make more lucrative. But you should tack now into and be more ambitious about income. I was so excited to make twice as much as my parents had ever made together, $80k... hah hah was so naive. Probably still naive because I really have no idea how people swing these $500k careers. But do wish I had investigated when I was younger and could take more risk.
OP - I did not come from a LMC background. Maybe my outlook is skewed because I was raised in a two income household. My mother still works because she loves her job and she is at the top of her field.
I am also clueless as to what these high-income individuals do for a living. I have friends working in numerous fields and none of them are raking in 250k+. In addition, there is little chance they ever will. Those jobs are difficult to come by. I cannot imagine just waltzing in to a job like that.
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:06
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:By mistake, I read the other thread about all women aspiring to be housewives. Need to know what I'm working with here.
Why, what did you read in the other thread that concerned you?
Because I've never been driven by a desire to "provide" for someone. Am I in the minority?
Do you even have kids?? DH and I both wanted to work (and we do) but it was heartbreaking not having a choice between working and staying home.
No kids. I recently finished grad school and have been getting my career started in DC. But I do not realistically foresee my income increasing beyond low six figures. I guess I just didn't realize this was such a deal breaker for women this day in age.
Come back and tell us how tired and stressed you are when both you and your wife work long inflexible hours, don't have time for your kids and your family is stressed. You are naive.
This is exactly the problem. Many lower middle class strivers come to high COL areas and do jobs they love or have an important mission, only to realize later they should have been chasing the $$$ if they want kids and TIME to see those kids.
OP this DH learned this lesson the hard way and my career is too advanced to change to make more lucrative. But you should tack now into and be more ambitious about income. I was so excited to make twice as much as my parents had ever made together, $80k... hah hah was so naive. Probably still naive because I really have no idea how people swing these $500k careers. But do wish I had investigated when I was younger and could take more risk.
Anonymous
01/11/2017 12:05
Subject: s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:By mistake, I read the other thread about all women aspiring to be housewives. Need to know what I'm working with here.
Why, what did you read in the other thread that concerned you?
Because I've never been driven by a desire to "provide" for someone. Am I in the minority?
Do you even have kids?? DH and I both wanted to work (and we do) but it was heartbreaking not having a choice between working and staying home.
No kids. I recently finished grad school and have been getting my career started in DC. But I do not realistically foresee my income increasing beyond low six figures. I guess I just didn't realize this was such a deal breaker for women this day in age.
Dude, don't be a drama queen. It is not a deal breaker for most women, esp. in DC. But most guy's who support a SAHM do it because it is a family decision to have the kids raised by a parent. They don't do it because of a desire to provide for someone or because it is a deal breaker for the wife.