Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 11:23     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it's fine to do this. But, I am having an issue with a friend who typically invites my older child to things and excludes the younger one who is exactly one year younger. We used to be neighbors and I am close with the mom. My younger daughter thinks of herself as friends with the neighbor, even though she is in the grade below the neighbor and my older daughter. My girls have recently switched schools, so now no one is in the same class. She called to ask about dates for her daughter'a upcoming party yesterday and I said I vaguely recalled that one of the girls might have another party. I checked my email after the call and realized I was imagining things, so I texted and said they are both free and I would greatly appreciate your including my younger daughter. She wants the moms to hang out during the party. I never heard back from her, and I think she's probably miffed. She has been strangely exclusive in the past and I have tried to explain that it causes a lot of problems (younger daughter upset, logistical issues for me). Literally my girls are one year (12 months) apart in age-this is not a toddler I'm pushing on her, and she has played over at their house countless times. Anyway, if she doesn't invite the younger daughter, obviously I won't be able to hang out (I'm not leaving her home with DH to go with one kid and exclude her). To make a long story short, I am hoping this doesn't cause drama, but I'm also now wishing I had not mentioned it. This is a very close friend and it's a party at her house that a bunch of kids will be coming to. Now I guess I will just see how it plays out.


So you'd rather risk blowing up your friendship with the mom and your oldest DDs friendship with the kid just to avoid letting your youngest DD spend quality time with her dad? Why can't they have a fun daddy-daughter day while you and older DD do your thing?

You're being incredibly rude and dramatic. You need to stop pushing younger DD off on older DDs friends when she isn't invited. It doesn't matter what the age difference is. I'm sure older DD would enjoy play dates and parties with her friends without younger DD tagging along. Do you insist older DD go to younger dd's friends' parties and play dates?
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 11:03     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
Anonymous wrote:DD only likes the girl her age, and finds the younger one annoying. I convince her to let both girls come for informal visits, but for a birthday party with limited head count i dont force her to exclude one of her good friends to make room for the annoying girl.

This could be the exact conversation between your former neighbor and her birthday daughter.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 10:25     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
i think it depends on the group of parents receiving the invite. If you're not that close to them or have no interest in developing a friendship with them then just say no siblings. If give you a hoot then just word it nicely as stated in one of the above posts.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 08:44     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
Anonymous wrote:DD only likes the girl her age, and finds the younger one annoying. I convince her to let both girls come for informal visits, but for a birthday party with limited head count i dont force her to exclude one of her good friends to make room for the annoying girl.

This could be the exact conversation between your former neighbor and her birthday daughter.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 08:27     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it's fine to do this. But, I am having an issue with a friend who typically invites my older child to things and excludes the younger one who is exactly one year younger. We used to be neighbors and I am close with the mom. My younger daughter thinks of herself as friends with the neighbor, even though she is in the grade below the neighbor and my older daughter. My girls have recently switched schools, so now no one is in the same class. She called to ask about dates for her daughter'a upcoming party yesterday and I said I vaguely recalled that one of the girls might have another party. I checked my email after the call and realized I was imagining things, so I texted and said they are both free and I would greatly appreciate your including my younger daughter. She wants the moms to hang out during the party. I never heard back from her, and I think she's probably miffed. She has been strangely exclusive in the past and I have tried to explain that it causes a lot of problems (younger daughter upset, logistical issues for me). Literally my girls are one year (12 months) apart in age-this is not a toddler I'm pushing on her, and she has played over at their house countless times. Anyway, if she doesn't invite the younger daughter, obviously I won't be able to hang out (I'm not leaving her home with DH to go with one kid and exclude her). To make a long story short, I am hoping this doesn't cause drama, but I'm also now wishing I had not mentioned it. This is a very close friend and it's a party at her house that a bunch of kids will be coming to. Now I guess I will just see how it plays out.

Wow. You are the one causing the drama. You don't get to dictate who is invited to her child's party.

Op, your first statement was fine, however I'd also lose the "sorry." Put me in the ice queen camp, I guess.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 08:03     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
Anonymous wrote:No siblings please, is enough. You don't have to explain WHY you don't want siblings because it doesn't matter. And offering up an explanation opens the door to obnoxious people trying to explain how adding their one more child won't really be a bother, will it?

Also, so what if your kid has to have a fun day with daddy 5:56 pp? I wonder if your older daughter wants her young sister tagging along ALL of the time? Maybe she would like to develop and having friendships of her own. And now is a good time for younger daughter to learn that she can't always go. She will be disappointed sometimes, but life doesn't end. What problem is a child causing because she can't go to a party someone else is hosting?! That's your parenting failure. My goodness you people are raising some of the most entitled children.


It doesn't matter if your daughters are twins, 1 year apart or 2 years apart. Birthday child does not need to invite both girls. I'm surprised PP doesn't get that. I doubt mom of birthday girl is trying to exclude her younger DD. It is probably the daughter who prefers the older daughter her own age.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 08:00     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it's fine to do this. But, I am having an issue with a friend who typically invites my older child to things and excludes the younger one who is exactly one year younger. We used to be neighbors and I am close with the mom. My younger daughter thinks of herself as friends with the neighbor, even though she is in the grade below the neighbor and my older daughter. My girls have recently switched schools, so now no one is in the same class. She called to ask about dates for her daughter'a upcoming party yesterday and I said I vaguely recalled that one of the girls might have another party. I checked my email after the call and realized I was imagining things, so I texted and said they are both free and I would greatly appreciate your including my younger daughter. She wants the moms to hang out during the party. I never heard back from her, and I think she's probably miffed. She has been strangely exclusive in the past and I have tried to explain that it causes a lot of problems (younger daughter upset, logistical issues for me). Literally my girls are one year (12 months) apart in age-this is not a toddler I'm pushing on her, and she has played over at their house countless times. Anyway, if she doesn't invite the younger daughter, obviously I won't be able to hang out (I'm not leaving her home with DH to go with one kid and exclude her). To make a long story short, I am hoping this doesn't cause drama, but I'm also now wishing I had not mentioned it. This is a very close friend and it's a party at her house that a bunch of kids will be coming to. Now I guess I will just see how it plays out.


I have boys who are 2 years apart and my younger son also really adores and likes DS's friends. He gets invited to many neighborhood parties where kids often play together. He also gets hurt feelings often when his big brother's friend does not invite him.

I don't think you should feel offended at all and I don't understand why you would not want to hang out with your friend and leave younger DD with your DH if your DH is home.

Younger child is less likely to have tantrums about it now but it used to be a huge hassle for me to have my older child have a play date or attend birthday party without his sibling. I now try to arrange play date or other fun activity for younger DS if older DS has a play date or activity.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 07:19     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
No siblings please, is enough. You don't have to explain WHY you don't want siblings because it doesn't matter. And offering up an explanation opens the door to obnoxious people trying to explain how adding their one more child won't really be a bother, will it?

Also, so what if your kid has to have a fun day with daddy 5:56 pp? I wonder if your older daughter wants her young sister tagging along ALL of the time? Maybe she would like to develop and having friendships of her own. And now is a good time for younger daughter to learn that she can't always go. She will be disappointed sometimes, but life doesn't end. What problem is a child causing because she can't go to a party someone else is hosting?! That's your parenting failure. My goodness you people are raising some of the most entitled children.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 06:54     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
^we have been on the other side of this situation. DD only likes the girl her age, and finds the younger one annoying. I convince her to let both girls come for informal visits, but for a birthday party with limited head count i dont force her to exclude one of her good friends to make room for the annoying girl.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 05:56     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
Yes, I think it's fine to do this. But, I am having an issue with a friend who typically invites my older child to things and excludes the younger one who is exactly one year younger. We used to be neighbors and I am close with the mom. My younger daughter thinks of herself as friends with the neighbor, even though she is in the grade below the neighbor and my older daughter. My girls have recently switched schools, so now no one is in the same class. She called to ask about dates for her daughter'a upcoming party yesterday and I said I vaguely recalled that one of the girls might have another party. I checked my email after the call and realized I was imagining things, so I texted and said they are both free and I would greatly appreciate your including my younger daughter. She wants the moms to hang out during the party. I never heard back from her, and I think she's probably miffed. She has been strangely exclusive in the past and I have tried to explain that it causes a lot of problems (younger daughter upset, logistical issues for me). Literally my girls are one year (12 months) apart in age-this is not a toddler I'm pushing on her, and she has played over at their house countless times. Anyway, if she doesn't invite the younger daughter, obviously I won't be able to hang out (I'm not leaving her home with DH to go with one kid and exclude her). To make a long story short, I am hoping this doesn't cause drama, but I'm also now wishing I had not mentioned it. This is a very close friend and it's a party at her house that a bunch of kids will be coming to. Now I guess I will just see how it plays out.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 03:59     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
Anonymous wrote:Ha! I suggested the polite versions. I am glad to see more people found this acceptable than not. Honestly, i think if you are wanting to define a doormat, it would be someone who says nothing and has their party ruined by the presence of too many siblings!


NP & I agree with you!
If saying the word "sorry" & being a little extra considerate makes me a doormat, I'd rather be a doormat than an ice queen.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 03:57     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
Anonymous wrote:Women say sorry too often. Makes them doormats. Could you see a man writing sorry on this invite?


You're an idiot.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 00:38     Subject: Re:"Sorry, no siblings please."
If you say drop off at 2pm, pick up at 4pm....I can't imagine having to even mention siblings at all, but you know your crowd best, OP. I agree that simply saying "unable to accommodate siblings" or something similar is acceptable. I'm really surprised that people out there would really drop off 1 or 2 siblings at a drop off party.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2017 00:14     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
"Drop off at 2:00 and pick up at 4:00. Sorry, no siblings!"
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2017 22:29     Subject: "Sorry, no siblings please."
Women say sorry too often. Makes them doormats. Could you see a man writing sorry on this invite?