I wouldn't loan it. You will never see it again. Give it if you want to. Ask her to come help you organize, shop for you, clean your closet, walk your dog, babysit or something. Pay her really well for those things.

Send a VISA gift card with a (non-mutual) friend's return address on it, but it send it certified return receipt, so you know she got it. She should be able to put that toward the car repairs.

I could have written this. Sure, do it. I have thought about doing this for someone similar.

Don't do a loan, just give

Do it as a gift, and anonymously. I recently helped out a cousin I'm not remotely close to (haven't seen or spoken to him in about 15 years), for many of the same reasons -- seems like a good kid, having a hard time, he's super broke and it wouldn't hurt me at all. It wasn't much money, but he was incredibly grateful, kept promising to pay me back that week, etc. I told him to not worry about paying me back and I felt pretty good about the exchange.

Within a week he was back asking for more, with a story about why he needed it that basically invalidated the previous story of why he needed money the first time. Lesson learned.

I think it's a wonderful impulse and you should follow it for sure.

I've done something similar with someone I knew in high school (but not well) who fell on very hard times with two small children. I sent her an anonymous gift card to Walmart for $500, asking that she use it for groceries and baby needs. I wouldn't give someone a loan though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people think this pay it forward thing is just being a nice human but the fact is, other humans take advantage of your generosity.

A friend of my husband was hurt in an accident recently. The wife had a gofundme site asking for Christmas help. We gave $100 and she called to thank us then asked for more money. She claimed she lost her job. Come to find out she didn't work and they had a brand new Harley sitting in the garage.

Or my own sister crying about not having any money to pay some car bills so we sent her $500. She calls me a week later and says she's grateful she didn't have to take money out of their savings.

My grandson's mother asking for help to get some things for him only to find out she used the money on herself.

I don't know. I get burned every time I give. My advice ? Give if you want but don't expect to be paid back and don't get mad if you find out it wasn't spent as meant.

But the friend didn't ask for money or start a gofundme. I would treat it as a gift. Addresses are not hard to find, and I would do it anonymously. I wouldn't ask her to pay it forward with "a similar amount". Some of us will NEVER be able to gift $1,000.

Exactly. Two ideas regarding anonymity. You could ask one of your friends (a stranger to her) to write the check, and you pay her. Or something similar with a mutual friend from home, who is sworn to silence re: the source of the money.

Go for it, OP. It's a beautiful impulse. Would that more people would follow these and leave the rest to the universe to sort out!

Your friend hasn't asked anyone for money. She hasn't started a GoFundMe site. She's asked people for help finding odd jobs so she can raise / earn the money herself. This is huge for me. Because of how she's going about it, I'd absolutely gift her whatever I could afford, with no strings attached. I'd also do it anonymously.

You seem to know the dealership where she bought the car. Will they be the ones servicing the vehicle? If so, go there, and give them $1,000 towards her engine repair, and ask them to tell her it was an anonymous donation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I'm shocked so many people say yes. I say no way.

Why?

OP wants to give a good chunk of money to a stranger. I'm sure there are lots of other people she's FB "friends" with who could use $500. Hey I'll take it if your giving it away. If OP is having guilt then find a local charity you can give to that might be able to help this girl out.

Anonymous wrote:Some people think this pay it forward thing is just being a nice human but the fact is, other humans take advantage of your generosity.

A friend of my husband was hurt in an accident recently. The wife had a gofundme site asking for Christmas help. We gave $100 and she called to thank us then asked for more money. She claimed she lost her job. Come to find out she didn't work and they had a brand new Harley sitting in the garage.

Or my own sister crying about not having any money to pay some car bills so we sent her $500. She calls me a week later and says she's grateful she didn't have to take money out of their savings.

My grandson's mother asking for help to get some things for him only to find out she used the money on herself.

I don't know. I get burned every time I give. My advice ? Give if you want but don't expect to be paid back and don't get mad if you find out it wasn't spent as meant.

But the friend didn't ask for money or start a gofundme. I would treat it as a gift. Addresses are not hard to find, and I would do it anonymously. I wouldn't ask her to pay it forward with "a similar amount". Some of us will NEVER be able to gift $1,000.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give what I could afford but not a loan

Op here. I was thinking a "loan" would be more palatable so she doesn't feel like a charity case but perhaps that's not the right approach. How could I do it annonymously if I don't have her address?

A loan creates an obligation and a debt. That's not the right path.

Anonymous wrote:Wow I'm shocked so many people say yes. I say no way.

Why?

Some people think this pay it forward thing is just being a nice human but the fact is, other humans take advantage of your generosity.

A friend of my husband was hurt in an accident recently. The wife had a gofundme site asking for Christmas help. We gave $100 and she called to thank us then asked for more money. She claimed she lost her job. Come to find out she didn't work and they had a brand new Harley sitting in the garage.

Or my own sister crying about not having any money to pay some car bills so we sent her $500. She calls me a week later and says she's grateful she didn't have to take money out of their savings.

My grandson's mother asking for help to get some things for him only to find out she used the money on herself.

I don't know. I get burned every time I give. My advice ? Give if you want but don't expect to be paid back and don't get mad if you find out it wasn't spent as meant.

Anonymous wrote:I would do it as a gift, not a loan. I would feel odd if an old acquaintance offered me a loan. If you offer the money and she insists on paying it back that would be fine but I would not ask.

$500 or $1000 is more than I can gift someone though, so I would not offer. It seems like you are compelled to help, so give her what you can afford. I have never regretted helping someone who needed it.

+1 It's only money. If you are comfortable enough to do this, then you are very fortunate compared to your friend. The fact that she's not even asking for "handouts" would seal it for me. If I could, yes, no question.