I said it first, when pretty drunk at a college party. I remember feeling immediately self-conscious afterwards, but it just came out so naturally. He looked a little surprised, but said it back. We were 19 and 20. Been together 16 years now, married 10, 2 kids. Still love him.

my stbx said it within weeks. He still says it but it's meaningless to me. I could see myself dating and marrying and living the rest of my life without those darn words. I feel I'd be able to tell by actions.

Anonymous wrote:I said it to him after a year. He didn't even respond. A year later he broke up with me.

Im this poster again. Now, I'll never say it first again. And I definitely will be uncomfortable if it's before a 6 + month mark

I said it to him after a year. He didn't even respond. A year later he broke up with me.

I don't know if this is early, but I said it three months in. I am female. He said it back in the moment. I tried to kiss him and play it off like he didn't have to say anything, and I told him that, but he said he wanted to. We are still together, almost 2 years now. I think he's the one.

I had one relationship where I said it too soon (2 months) and he didn't feel the same way. It was an awful feeling and I didn't want to repeat it again. We broke up due to distance - we were in the same town for a summer internship but went to different colleges.

With DH, I waited longer. I feel like we had dated 8 months by then. He did say it back and I had the feeling that both of us maybe felt that way for a bit but taking our time before saying anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband said it after the first date. We chatted a lot on the phone before meeting. We're married and have 1 baby. My husband died really love me but he's got anger problems.

After first date is a HUGE red flag.

Yes, he didn't love you after the first date. He may have later but both then.

I have been on one first date when as I talked with her and looked at her across the table I felt like I could easily fall in love with her, and quite soon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

singledadmclean wrote:I think I said it once, after I'd been married to her for 7 or 8 years.

I actually don't think this PP is kidding. My DH didn't say it to me until after we were engaged, ring and wedding date set. Seriously. We are pretty affectionate as a couple and a family regardless. Together over 20 years, married over 16.

I couldn't commit to someone who didn't say they loved me.

She knew I loved her by the time we got married because I had put up with so much of her crazy shit already. Only someone who was truly in love (or a seriously sick masochist) would have stuck with her.

1439 days I met her

Anonymous wrote:

singledadmclean wrote:I think I said it once, after I'd been married to her for 7 or 8 years.

I actually don't think this PP is kidding. My DH didn't say it to me until after we were engaged, ring and wedding date set. Seriously. We are pretty affectionate as a couple and a family regardless. Together over 20 years, married over 16.

How did you know he loved you, or did it not matter to you whether he loved you when you got engaged/married? Did his actions/behavior tell you he loved you? If so, what specifically did you see that assured you he loved you?

Wow, it was such a long time ago that I can't remember but it must have been at least a few months into our relationship. I will ask him but I'm sure he'd say "how the hell can I remember that!" The good news is that after 30 years we always say "love you" when we separate during the day, end a phone call or go to bed at night. Thankfully, some nights we say it a much more fun way!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband said it after the first date. We chatted a lot on the phone before meeting. We're married and have 1 baby. My husband died really love me but he's got anger problems.

After first date is a HUGE red flag.

Yes, he didn't love you after the first date. He may have later but both then.

both = not

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband said it after the first date. We chatted a lot on the phone before meeting. We're married and have 1 baby. My husband died really love me but he's got anger problems.

After first date is a HUGE red flag.

Yes, he didn't love you after the first date. He may have later but both then.

In early relationships in my younger days, including the ex I was married to for over 20 years, we exchanged "I love yous" a few weeks into the relationship. With my current boyfriend, it was about 7-8 months in before I said it. It took him another month or two before he could verbalize too. Middle-aged, post divorce ... we've been moving much more slowly.

Anonymous wrote:

singledadmclean wrote:I think I said it once, after I'd been married to her for 7 or 8 years.

I actually don't think this PP is kidding. My DH didn't say it to me until after we were engaged, ring and wedding date set. Seriously. We are pretty affectionate as a couple and a family regardless. Together over 20 years, married over 16.

I couldn't commit to someone who didn't say they loved me.