Anonymous
Post 01/03/2017 15:24     Subject: Petty Vent about MIL
"Thanks but we're having XXX tonight. If you give me a heads up next time, ribs would be great."

As for the tree, "I see no reason to rush and take it down. It'll happen at some point."

And then ignore.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2017 15:03     Subject: Re:Petty Vent about MIL
I would of said 'oh! thanks for coming, my hands are full, can you please take down that tree your son has been so busy that he keeps forgetting! ?
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2017 10:32     Subject: Petty Vent about MIL
"I would LOVE some help with taking the tree down if you are going to stick around for a while!"

"Oh I'm so glad you stopped by, little Larla is just wiping me out today. Here, can you hold her?"

"I'll be sure to let DH know the ribs are here, thank you so much! I'll just finish cooking this; we can have it for left overs."

Anonymous
Post 01/03/2017 10:17     Subject: Re:Petty Vent about MIL
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If it were me I'd give my MIL something to do like watch the kid.


I started to ask and she started in with how tired she was from shopping all day.


She dropped in. There is no asking. Next time tell her and if she whines about being tired say you are double tired.

Make her visits work for you. Oh and tell her to call before dropping in.


She called DH while he was at work. He was so busy he didn't get a chance to call me until it was too late. He did tell her to let me know she was coming. She didn't.


And here's where the fix lies: Your husband needs to respond with one of these 2 responses:

"I'll call Suzy. We might have plans tonight, but I can't remember. I'll let you know if there's a good time to stop by."
OR
"Sorry mom, that won't work. I know Suzy has some errands to run. Let's set up a time when I'm there and you can come by."


+1 Why is your DH the conduit for MIL visits when he's not even at home? She should call you directly and then you can say it's not a good time. DH letting his mother tell him she's coming over when he's not even home is not ok.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2017 09:43     Subject: Petty Vent about MIL
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: I told DH if he eats those damn ribs tonight he could sleep on the couch.


Your MIL is annoying and I'd have showed her to the door, but I don't see why your husband can't eat the ribs rather than leftovers if he wants to.


Op was making dinner. Mil brought leftover ribs. So, dh should eat wife's cooking.

Op you should be annoyed with your dh because he didn't call you. Next time, tell him to say I need to talk to my wife first and then I'll call you back
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2017 09:14     Subject: Petty Vent about MIL
Anonymous wrote: I told DH if he eats those damn ribs tonight he could sleep on the couch.


Your MIL is annoying and I'd have showed her to the door, but I don't see why your husband can't eat the ribs rather than leftovers if he wants to.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2017 07:31     Subject: Re:Petty Vent about MIL
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I feel for you,, op! I don't know if I would want to leave my house just because MIL stops by unannounced.


Here is an idea: tell your DH to tell his mom not to call him to get permission to see you and child. She MUST call you directly. If she does not call than she is not allowed to drop by. She must get permission first. Once she does that maybe you can invite her over ( on your terms) so she doesn't feel left out.

Good luck!




You don't actually have to leave! Say, you know what, we're going to go potty before we hit the road. Good to see you for a second! Let us know next time! Or drive around the block.

OR, just stand in the doorway, say it's not a good time, and promise to make plans soon.


We are actually on the same side. There is no reason for the eye roll. What I was saying was if she is in the middle of making dinner it is going to be a pain even to pretend because the MIL will see the pot of tomato sauce ( or whatever) bubbling on the stove.

Anonymous
Post 01/03/2017 07:24     Subject: Petty Vent about MIL
If DH and I are not expecting you, we will not answer the door not unless it's a neighbor. We peep outside to see whose car is parked... if no car, then we know it's a neighbor and it is important.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2017 21:48     Subject: Petty Vent about MIL
How about instead of all the return insults, you just commuicate honestly? Whether it is frustration, hurt feelings, etc.. Wow, what a concept.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2017 21:46     Subject: Re:Petty Vent about MIL
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If it were me I'd give my MIL something to do like watch the kid.


I started to ask and she started in with how tired she was from shopping all day.


She dropped in. There is no asking. Next time tell her and if she whines about being tired say you are double tired.

Make her visits work for you. Oh and tell her to call before dropping in.


She called DH while he was at work. He was so busy he didn't get a chance to call me until it was too late. He did tell her to let me know she was coming. She didn't.


And here's where the fix lies: Your husband needs to respond with one of these 2 responses:

"I'll call Suzy. We might have plans tonight, but I can't remember. I'll let you know if there's a good time to stop by."
OR
"Sorry mom, that won't work. I know Suzy has some errands to run. Let's set up a time when I'm there and you can come by."
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2017 21:28     Subject: Re:Petty Vent about MIL
Anonymous wrote:I feel for you,, op! I don't know if I would want to leave my house just because MIL stops by unannounced.


Here is an idea: tell your DH to tell his mom not to call him to get permission to see you and child. She MUST call you directly. If she does not call than she is not allowed to drop by. She must get permission first. Once she does that maybe you can invite her over ( on your terms) so she doesn't feel left out.

Good luck!




You don't actually have to leave! Say, you know what, we're going to go potty before we hit the road. Good to see you for a second! Let us know next time! Or drive around the block.

OR, just stand in the doorway, say it's not a good time, and promise to make plans soon.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2017 20:41     Subject: Petty Vent about MIL
Who the hell let her in? Teach your kid not to answer the door, especially for grandma.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2017 20:39     Subject: Re:Petty Vent about MIL
I feel for you,, op! I don't know if I would want to leave my house just because MIL stops by unannounced.


Here is an idea: tell your DH to tell his mom not to call him to get permission to see you and child. She MUST call you directly. If she does not call than she is not allowed to drop by. She must get permission first. Once she does that maybe you can invite her over ( on your terms) so she doesn't feel left out.

Good luck!


Anonymous
Post 01/02/2017 20:31     Subject: Petty Vent about MIL
How about a baldly-delivered "really??" followed by a displeased look and a long pause. No other response. Then change the subject.

If she complains she's tired, then say and a goodbye tone "well, thanks for coming. Don't let me keep you. Go home and rest up, and we'll see you next time" and then start walking towards the door.