We were closest to my paternal grandfather (lived in our neighborhood, saw each other daily) and my maternal grandmother (lived in another town, but visited several times a year for a couple weeks at a time). Paternal grandmother was universally adored, but we saw her less frequently due to distance. Maternal grandfather lived father away, but also wasn't quite as friendly. His wife (maternal stepgrandma) was kind of a witch. I became much closer to that Grandpa after she died, but I was in my 30s by then and lived far away. I really didn't like visiting them when I was a kid.

My own kids are much closer to my parents, due to a combination of proximity, circumstance, and DH's choice.

Paternal, but that's because they lived close by and my mom's parents died early.

Maternal, but my husband was closer to the paternal ones. My son will ?3 closest to my mom because his mom is nuts.

Well, my dad was a lot older than my mom, and his parend died when I was very young. And there were some family dynamics involved where one of my paternal grandparents had been abusive to my dad, although he maintained a relationship with that parent. My maternal grandmother lived longer so I had more of a relationship with her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mothers parents. I feel like I live in a matriarchy here. I also (dw here) manage our family aspect of the marriage.

Why?

Women plan everything related to the family. They plan the vacations, the holidays, the dinners and all the get togethers. Because of this dynamic you're always closer to the woman's family. I see this in my marriage too even though I work and my husband does 50% of the chores. He just sits back and lets either his mom or me plan everything.

Most of my friends have similar households.

Maternal. They lived far but they were interested in their grandchildren's lives. Paternal side never even remembered my birthday.

Maternal. They lived close, celebrated all the holidays, and had kids my age.

Dad"s side was all spread out geographically, and we were younger than the other first cousins by 20 years. They didn't host holidays.

Maternal side

We were closer to my maternal grandparents, but my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather died when I was young. All of my grandparents lived on the opposite coast. We were closest to my mother's father who would come for month long visits, although I didn't always get along with him. My dad's mother lived a long time and was an interesting character but she had some serious personality flaws so the relationship was not close. When it comes down to it, whoever made the effort to have regular visits was who we were closest to.

Maternal. Proximity.

My grandparents lived next door to one another (yes, my dad married the girl next door) so they were both equally close in terms of distance. But my dad's parents died much younger than my mom's parents so I was closer to them overall. But in the beginning, when I was very young, it was pretty equal.

Maternal. It was a personality thing. My parents absolutely would have facilitated a closer relationship with my paternal grandparents, but they never asked for sleepovers or to be the go-to babysitters. I loved them and I know they loved me, they were just kind of aloof people in general. For example, my dad's friends weren't really welcome to come over when he was growing up. My paternal grandmother raised six kids and very much had the attitude that she was done with all that. I talked to my dad recently about this - I remembered being babysat by them at their house once, but my dad reminded me that one of his sisters was still living at home at the time, and she was actually the one babysitting.

My maternal grandmother (grandpa died before I was born) was much more an extrovert and a warmly welcoming person. She loved having visitors, she loved getting out and trying new things, enjoyed interacting with kids and doing kid stuff.

Mom's parents far and away. Both local, paternal grandfather was (still is) an insufferable asshole within an hour, every hour. My dad was MUCH closer to my mom's parents until they divorced.

for me: I was closer to my mom's parents simply because we saw them more often and they were younger and would take us to do fun things/play with us/interact with us more whereas my dad's parents were older, had health issues, and couldn't engage with us as much when we were kids.

for my kids: right now my kids are really young so we'll see how it might change over time but for the time being, I would say it's quite equal. We don't live in the same city as either set of grandparents but we are a closer drive to my husbands' parents so we do see them a bit more often. However, when we see my parents it's usually for longer stretches at a time since they live farther away so I think it all evens out in the end. More frequent visits with my in-laws but longer on average visits with my parents=about the same amount of time spent with each and my kids love to be with both sets of grandparents as both sets are very involved, attentive, and really play w/ the kids. I hope it remains even. My kids are so lucky to have 4 grandparents who are so involved.

Anonymous wrote:Mothers parents. I feel like I live in a matriarchy here. I also (dw here) manage our family aspect of the marriage.

Why?