Anonymous
12/28/2016 19:25
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Just dodge the hug with your hands up and say "No hugs for me." Others will assume that you've been sick but maybe with a pointed glare, he'll see your point.
Anonymous
12/28/2016 19:06
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.
Who else but another perverted abuser would say this?
Anonymous
12/28/2016 18:57
Subject: Re:Parent's Pervy Friend
Tell his wife and the host what he's been doing.
Anonymous
12/28/2016 18:42
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Disagree with the people who suggest that OP's husband should call him out. I agree that it's disrespectful, but having your husband be the one who does the calling out just reinforces the idea that women lack agency, which is something that he apparently already believes.
OP, next time you see him, when he goes to hug you, take a step back and tell him, "When I saw you over Christmas, you touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable. It wasn't the first time, and I'm not the only one who has complained. Please don't touch me again."
What do your parents think? He's THEIR friend.
My MIL thinks he's a perv too. His wife is more their friend.
Maybe she could mention it to him privately before the next party. "Phil, we love having you and Marina over, but some of the women at last year's party complained that they were uncomfortable with the way you greeted them last year. I'd really appreciate it if you could stick to a handshake this year so that no one is uncomfortable."
Why give this asshole another chance? He's a sexual assaulter, he should be in jail already. Stop inviting him now.
Anonymous
12/28/2016 18:40
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Anonymous wrote:Disagree with the people who suggest that OP's husband should call him out. I agree that it's disrespectful, but having your husband be the one who does the calling out just reinforces the idea that women lack agency, which is something that he apparently already believes.
OP, next time you see him, when he goes to hug you, take a step back and tell him, "When I saw you over Christmas, you touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable. It wasn't the first time, and I'm not the only one who has complained. Please don't touch me again."
What do your parents think? He's THEIR friend.
No, that's too polite.
Shout out real loud so everyone can hear: "KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, OR I'LL RIP YOUR NUTS OFF."
Anonymous
12/28/2016 18:38
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Why do your parents keep inviting him?
Anonymous
12/28/2016 18:38
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Yes, I think all of the women have been polite and embarrassed and he has continued the behavior. I would be loud and say "Don't touch my butt" so he is the one who is uncomfortable. I might game plan with some of the other women, too since there is strength in numbers.
Anonymous
12/28/2016 18:37
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.
Wrong answer. Would you tell your daughter this? Shame on you.
Sadly, it's this pervasive attitude that allows sexual harassment and abuse to flourish throughout society.
Anonymous
12/28/2016 18:22
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
The person closest to this guy needs to give him a warning that if he doesn't change his Benny Hill 1970's ooh-missus ways, he will not be getting any further invitations to attend.
Anonymous
12/28/2016 16:16
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.
Wrong answer. Would you tell your daughter this? Shame on you.
Anonymous
12/28/2016 16:14
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
As a victim of abuse by a similar Pervy uncle, what my 49+ self would tell someone else in the situation to do would be to say very loudly the next time something like that happens taht makes you uncomfortable say "hey DO NOT touch my butt" stare at my breasts, whatever it is. You might think it would be embarrassing to you, and maybe it will be, but I bet every woman in that room would think you are a hero.
Anonymous
12/28/2016 16:05
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.
This is great advice for anyone who is sexually harassed. OP, your discomfort matters less than this man's right to continue to sexually harass women around him without feeling embarrassed. Just don't say anything at all!
Who are you, PP?
Anonymous
12/28/2016 16:04
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Don't say anything, you'll embarrass him ... just let it go.
Anonymous
12/28/2016 15:56
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Anonymous wrote:Disagree with the people who suggest that OP's husband should call him out. I agree that it's disrespectful, but having your husband be the one who does the calling out just reinforces the idea that women lack agency, which is something that he apparently already believes.
OP, next time you see him, when he goes to hug you, take a step back and tell him, "When I saw you over Christmas, you touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable. It wasn't the first time, and I'm not the only one who has complained. Please don't touch me again."
What do your parents think? He's THEIR friend.
Good god, this is BRILLIANT and PERFECT. Say this. It's like "you proved to be incapable of touching me respectfully, so now you are punished and may not touch me at all, ever." Do this.
Anonymous
12/28/2016 15:55
Subject: Parent's Pervy Friend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Disagree with the people who suggest that OP's husband should call him out. I agree that it's disrespectful, but having your husband be the one who does the calling out just reinforces the idea that women lack agency, which is something that he apparently already believes.
OP, next time you see him, when he goes to hug you, take a step back and tell him, "When I saw you over Christmas, you touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable. It wasn't the first time, and I'm not the only one who has complained. Please don't touch me again."
What do your parents think? He's THEIR friend.
My MIL thinks he's a perv too. His wife is more their friend.
Maybe she could mention it to him privately before the next party. "Phil, we love having you and Marina over, but some of the women at last year's party complained that they were uncomfortable with the way you greeted them last year. I'd really appreciate it if you could stick to a handshake this year so that no one is uncomfortable."