Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm, perhaps I'm heartless, but "breaks my heart" seems a bit strong. I'm sorry some women are too scared/intimidated/something of IVF to do it, but my broken heart is reserved more for women who can't afford it or who try it and fail.

I think it's incredibly sad when women turn down IVF when it's really not that awful. It's what...9-10 days of shots, one appointment where you're out under and another one that's similar to an annual visit. Being so scared of the medication and procedures that you choose not to have kids is sad.

You people are ridiculously heartless and lack empathy. Perhaps IVF wasn't so bad for you, but I know women for whom it was a horrible experience. Why do you assume your experience is the only experience? And worse, there are some women who went through multiple rounds of IVF, had negative physical consequences, and still never ended up pregnant.

Not to mention, some people have moral or religious objections to IVF. Anyone on here who is against abortion but mocks women who have a moral objection to IVF is a hypocrite.

And then there are some for whom IVF wouldn't solve the problem anyhow (i.e., they don't have a problem getting pregnant). Not everyone can afford donor eggs, by the way -- especially on top of costs associated with IVF and then all of the daycare costs once the baby arrives.

I find it incredibly sad when women talk about empathy and then in the same post show a complete lack of empathy by judging other women who make different choices in the face of heartbreaking circumstances.

And you know what? This thread shouldn't be in infertility support because it seems to assume that everyone on the infertility forum eventually ends up with a baby. That's not the reality.

Anonymous wrote:I regret sex turning into a job for my husband and I. Luckily we powered through okay but I can see how this can really mess up relationships.

+1.

Everything! but specifically the IM shots. I worried myself sick for days thinking about these -- watching videos over and over on youtube. they didn't hurt at all.

I just worried non-stop. IF is horrible and all-consuming. I had my first naturally after 2 failed IUIs and finally went to DE for the second one, who is now 9 months old and beautiful. Warms thoughts to all of you.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this thread OP!

I started this hoping those of you still in the weeds could learn from those who have gone before

I regret all the anxiety I poured into the process. IVF is already stressful - infertility is stressful! But every monitoring appointment trying to interpret the facial expressions of doctors and compare measurements of follicles and numbers of follicles and were there enough follicles and was my lining thick enough and - oh crap, I had gluten and dairy and ate a raw vegetable against my accupuncturist's advice. Then transfer day and my doctor told me I had two "AC" eggs (not AA) and I sobbed all the way home believing the cycle was doomed. My twins are 3 today and the most amazing gift I've ever received - I adore them. Just wished I chilled out about the IVF process.

I regret sex turning into a job for my husband and I. Luckily we powered through okay but I can see how this can really mess up relationships.

Thanks for starting this thread OP!

I worried too much about switching doctors/practices, to the point that I think I stayed too long in one place and wasted precious time.

To 18.53,

This is 18.38. Your welcome! And, I hope you had a happy infertility ending already....or that there will be one in 2017.

Best wishes to you!

Anonymous wrote:I wish I did not worry that I would "have" a baby (somehow) because after 5 years of treatments, I adopted a healthy newborn girl---as it turns oit, quite easily (especially for a single woman in her 40's.) She is a million times better than what I could have created with my eggs (even when they were good!)

That is beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really wasn't that bad and I find pregnancy to be much more challenging.

So happy to hear these lovely stories - this highlighted section caught my eye. DH and I used to talk about how he just wanted to get the babies born so he could stop worrying (I had multiple high risks with all three but no actual complications). We went through the exhausted days and years of infancy and toddlerhood. But, dear fellow moms, your REALLY fun days are when you have a 12yo DD. I need to ask this same question about tweens/teens of moms to older kids. Enjoy the stage you are in (even pregnancy!), at all phases of babyhood, childhood and (gulp) adolescence - the stage coming up is harder and will make where you are now seem to be a cakewalk!

Hugs, mom to DD/12, DD/10, DS/8 (and I'm 52)

Enjoy the stage you are in?? You know this is an infertility board right? Like some women on here might never get pregnant. What is wrong with you? Do you think "infertility" is a stage that goes away?

Infertility has made my IVF twins seem like a cakewalk.

I wish I did not worry that I would "have" a baby (somehow) because after 5 years of treatments, I adopted a healthy newborn girl---as it turns oit, quite easily (especially for a single woman in her 40's.) She is a million times better than what I could have created with my eggs (even when they were good!)

I completely gave up diary, caffeine, gluten. It seems super silly but that was the FET that stuck!!

I agree the cycles weren't that bad. I expected worse. And after the actual IVF and an FET, I knew my body way better.

I don't necessarily feel silly for the fear or grief of infertility. It is not something I wish for anyone. I did worry a lot of how people would judge or interact with me because I used IVF/am part of an infertile coup and I think that was silly. I am really happy about my IVF babies and I talk about it freely so a woman and her partner going through IF don't have to disclose but know they aren't alone.

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm, perhaps I'm heartless, but "breaks my heart" seems a bit strong. I'm sorry some women are too scared/intimidated/something of IVF to do it, but my broken heart is reserved more for women who can't afford it or who try it and fail.

I think it's incredibly sad when women turn down IVF when it's really not that awful. It's what...9-10 days of shots, one appointment where you're out under and another one that's similar to an annual visit. Being so scared of the medication and procedures that you choose not to have kids is sad.

Anonymous wrote:Oh god, the diet things I did:

Ate pineapple cores during IUIs.

Gave up ALL caffeine one cycle. (A BFN with a PGS normal embryo.)

Stopped drinking completely. (Not necessarily a bad thing, to be honest.)

Cut was back on sugar. (okay, also not a bad thing.)

Yes! This! Also running around to acupuncture, massage, etc. appointments, and trying to eat only hot foods. And all the supplements. I spent a fortune on supplements.

I did none of these things on the cycle that worked.