Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 12:17     Subject: Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
You only tell her if it's about to come out anyway from someone else. Then it should come from you. Other than that, keep your mouth shut. You're the one that should be feeling bad. And double bad on you for thinking about doing it during the holidays.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 12:12     Subject: Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
Cheated on wife here. Don't tell her. I wanted to know so I did my own "research" and found out, but of course things would be better if I didn't know, in a way. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 12:07     Subject: Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
Anonymous wrote:You have to tell her. She deserves to choose a reaction for herself, not have you decide what's best for her.


This is where I'm falling too. Are you going to break two promises or just one?
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 12:01     Subject: Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
Another vote for not telling her. It will eat her up.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 11:41     Subject: Re:Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
Telling her would be Christmas present she'll never forget! If you are serious about wanting to make your marriage work you need to confess to someone. Priest, minister, therapist?
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 11:37     Subject: Re:Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I thought wives of dcum are okay with a cheating husband as long as they never discover it, especially if DW is a sahm that's how it goes right ? Honesty is not really expected in the marriage right? If they are kids involved DW is no going to leave because of an affair or multiple affairs anyway right? If your wife follows the dcum wives marriage philosophy then you have nothing to worry about as long as s you say nothing.


No, that's not why he should keep it to himself. If he truly can remain faithful from now on, he'd only be victimizing his wife by telling her.


LOL How the hoops women will go through to keep their heads in the sand.

Once of your own is hurting this lovely morning DCUM, lift your heads in prayer for Jason Miller's wife, mistress, and two unborn children.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 11:34     Subject: Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
She has a right to know if there's a chance she contracted sexually transmitted disease. STD tests are not that reliable. Prophylactic measures are not that reliable. Your affair partner's self-report of her sexual health is not that reliable.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 11:19     Subject: Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
Anonymous wrote:Take it your grave. That's your cross to bear. You don't get to absolve your guilt by telling her.


This do get yourself tested though.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 11:16     Subject: Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
You have to tell her. She deserves to choose a reaction for herself, not have you decide what's best for her.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 11:05     Subject: Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
No. Stop talking about it. Forever.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 10:59     Subject: Re:Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
No. This will never happen again.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 10:58     Subject: Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
Its selfish to have the affair. You tell her so she can make the choice. I'd leave you in a heartbeat. Thank goodness for savings. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 10:54     Subject: Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
Admit it, you really only want to tell her in order to punish her with the knowledge.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 10:46     Subject: Re:Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, PP.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2016 10:44     Subject: Re:Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?
Never tell her, you selfish SOB. Take it to your grave. I had an affair 8 years ago. No one found out. We are happy. Should I tell her now? Of course not and neither should you.

The only thing more selfish than having an affair is running your spouse's nose in it for no reason than to unload your own guilt. Sheesh