Anonymous wrote:It's weird to compare what you got vs what another coworker gets. Perhaps they are closer to the coworker than you. Still not a reason to feel slighted.

Not a weird thing to do at all OP. PP here, I know because it used to happen where I work. People were feeling slighted until these changes were put in place. Even if they are closer to the other coworker, the response from the company should not show preferential treatment. So Susie's friends at work can still get her flowers, a card, bring a casserole, attend the funeral, and whatever else they want, but the head of the company should NOT do this unless she's ready to do it for everyone. It was really affecting the moral of our employees. I suggest letting it go, but just know what you are feeling is totally normal.

It's weird to compare what you got vs what another coworker gets. Perhaps they are closer to the coworker than you. Still not a reason to feel slighted.

This is bound to happen when your workplace doesn't have a policy about this. We do everything from recognizing weddings, births/adoptions, prolonged illness/hospitalization, retirements, death in immediate family incl. grandparents, retirements, the same way for everyone regardless of her position. it's all spelled out. It should be everywhere, otherwise, this defaults to a popularity contest and feelings get hurt. Maybe you can propose this OP? Sorry for your loss.

Are you Jewish by chance and the other coworker isn't? Jews don't typically do the flower thing.

Anonymous wrote:I watched the other 6 people in the office shower each other's desks with expensive gifts today and did not receive so much as a card.

I will be finding another job in 2017 to work with nicer people. It is time.

That's rough. Sorry. I have been on the same team for six years and always felt unappreciated because the holidays were like any other day. We have a new team leader this year and for the first time I got an AWESOME gift. My point is, being recognized around the holidays really does matter AND it can just take one person to make a difference. Glad I hung in there, but I totally get why you'd want to leave.

I'd rather have the card, honestly. "Sending flowers" is the office admin ordering a bouquet and sending it to the funeral home, then expensing the charge. It's not personal. Nobody put any effort into picking them out or even deciding to do it. They get a "FYI, sending flowers for Susie's dad's funeral" email. Signing a card at least takes a slight bit of effort and people are maybe aware of why they are signing.

When my mother passed away, we requested donations in lieu of flowers to the hospital where the nurses and doctors took great care of her. We did not want flowers. Maybe he requested flowers.