Anonymous
12/20/2016 20:14
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
I read threads like this and I'm glad I'm not dating in this age of texting. Tone is lost which then leads the reader to add in his/her own tone. And that can quickly lead to miscommunication.
Yeah, it was a pain in the butt waiting by the phone and hoping that the light on the answering machine was blinking when you got home, but at least you could hear the person's voice on the other end.
Yeah, it was a pain in the butt waiting by the phone and hoping that the light on the answering machine was blinking when you got home, but at least you could hear the person's voice on the other end.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 20:11
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
His story sounds a little sketchy to me, and I'd be ticked off if someone cancelled a date for a work dinner. Emergencies, sure. But cancelling because a better opportunity came along is pretty rude. If anything, it's a sign he doesn't set good boundaries with work.
My rule was I let it slide if someone cancelled on me once, but if it happened twice I stopped seeing them. I think what you said to him was fine, you were letting him know you how cancelling affects you. Give it a few days and if you know of a date in the future you can meet up, let him know.
My rule was I let it slide if someone cancelled on me once, but if it happened twice I stopped seeing them. I think what you said to him was fine, you were letting him know you how cancelling affects you. Give it a few days and if you know of a date in the future you can meet up, let him know.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 20:05
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
OP I don't know if these people replying are single parents, which I am. I get where you are coming from. Apparently, he doesn't.
I would say your "I'll reach out" comment was a bit cold.
His response was snippy.
I'd let it go at this point.
I would say your "I'll reach out" comment was a bit cold.
His response was snippy.
I'd let it go at this point.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 20:01
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
Oh honey, with your attitude there are going to be many "he's probably not for me" dates.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 20:01
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing he doesn't have kids. You're probably better off with someone who does. They will be far more understanding of the complications that arise when you have kids (sickness, canceled babysitter, importance of booking a babysitter, etc). Someone without kids isn't going to get it (and it doesn't make them a bad guy) and it can be tough
It's not smart to weed out an entire group of men because they might not get it. Some will.
Don't be too hard on the guy. He does not know you yet.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 19:59
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing he doesn't have kids. You're probably better off with someone who does. They will be far more understanding of the complications that arise when you have kids (sickness, canceled babysitter, importance of booking a babysitter, etc). Someone without kids isn't going to get it (and it doesn't make them a bad guy) and it can be tough
This has nothing to do with having kids vs not having kids. OP was needlessly rude.
- a single mom of two.
Well yes, I agree. But my advice was just some general advice.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 19:58
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would also be turned off by his response but his reaction was to your awful response. "I'll reach out if my schedule opens up???"
Sorry, this one is on you. It sounds like he made a sincere effort to keep the date on track...
+1. You made it sound like you were completely done with him. I understand your position here but you definitely could have been warmer with your response. I wouldn't worry about giving HIM another chance, I wouldn't want to give YOU another chance. You made it sound like it was entirely his fault and like he was a dick on purpose.
Yeah. You started it OP.
I say meet up, and see whether you two can get over it.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 19:55
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing he doesn't have kids. You're probably better off with someone who does. They will be far more understanding of the complications that arise when you have kids (sickness, canceled babysitter, importance of booking a babysitter, etc). Someone without kids isn't going to get it (and it doesn't make them a bad guy) and it can be tough
This has nothing to do with having kids vs not having kids. OP was needlessly rude.
- a single mom of two.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 19:42
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
I'm guessing he doesn't have kids. You're probably better off with someone who does. They will be far more understanding of the complications that arise when you have kids (sickness, canceled babysitter, importance of booking a babysitter, etc). Someone without kids isn't going to get it (and it doesn't make them a bad guy) and it can be tough
Anonymous
12/20/2016 19:30
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
You are better off single. Please leave that man alone
Anonymous
12/20/2016 19:27
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
You're a PITA, OP. 48 hours is ample time as you guys aren't even a thing and he absolutely did not cancel on you last minute so don't let yourself think that your cold and snippy response was warranted. It wasn't. I don't think you're cut out for dating and you should probably avoid it.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 19:09
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I appreciate this perspective. To answer a PP's question, I'm 41. Before I had kids, 48 hrs wasn't last minute to me either. It's different now, if for no other reason than I can't keep good sitters and cancel on them. I haven't dated much (my child is 4 so it isn't a top priority right now) but I've been blown away at guys being unable to follow through, and these are for first dates that are arranged, not second dates where there's maybe been a change of heart. My "I'll reach out if my schedule opens up" was sincere, I really can't see this as "awful". But yeah, flakiness (which I can't do) aside, the red flag for me was his last reply. A guy who gets defensive when we barely know each other (and he's the one who cancelled!) is probably not for me.
Thanks DCUM!
Sounds like you should stay single and focus on raising your kid.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 19:04
Subject: Do I give him another chance?
I agree that "To be fair, 48 hours in advance isn't exactly last minute" is a bit snippy. But I assume that he has already decided that it isn't going to work out, and this was just a little face-saving parting shot.
Anonymous
12/20/2016 19:00
Subject: Re:Do I give him another chance?
Anonymous wrote:You are a single mom right? Thats right-
... and you will remain a single mom with this attitude
Anonymous
12/20/2016 18:59
Subject: Re:Do I give him another chance?
No