Anonymous
12/14/2016 16:48
Subject: Extreme emotional meltdown of 7 year old over very small things - self regulation problem?
Our DS was like that at that age. It was hard to help with the problem at school, but when it surfaced at taekwondo practice during a dodge-ball style warm up, it gave us a chance to address it head on. We spoke w his coach and basically dared him to purposely get tagged out. Over & over & over again. The coach made it easy to cycle back into the game, and DS got to practice better sportsmanship & learn that winning isnt everything.
It took two rounds, and pretty much broke the cycle of meltdowns & tears as related to sports and games. He's 11 now. It still resonates as a touchstone for all manner of competitive or stressful events. In middle school, the pressure to not melt down is huge & consequences are much more embarrassing.
Not saying this is all it took - we still proactively frequently prep him for stressful events and still have to talk him off the ledge sometimes. But that exercise was definitely a turning point.
It took two rounds, and pretty much broke the cycle of meltdowns & tears as related to sports and games. He's 11 now. It still resonates as a touchstone for all manner of competitive or stressful events. In middle school, the pressure to not melt down is huge & consequences are much more embarrassing.
Not saying this is all it took - we still proactively frequently prep him for stressful events and still have to talk him off the ledge sometimes. But that exercise was definitely a turning point.
Anonymous
12/14/2016 16:27
Subject: Extreme emotional meltdown of 7 year old over very small things - self regulation problem?
Children have to practice losing so I would still allow games. I think video games however, IMO, are different. They are way too stimulating and may exacerbate his intense feelings. This is just what I've seen from my own child with regulation issues.
My kid is climbing in the backyard right now. It's cold... but it's great therapy and free! My child has ASD and we've tried all types of therapy: social skills classes, CBT, OT. These short, cold days with less outside time are hard.
My kid is climbing in the backyard right now. It's cold... but it's great therapy and free! My child has ASD and we've tried all types of therapy: social skills classes, CBT, OT. These short, cold days with less outside time are hard.
Anonymous
12/14/2016 16:21
Subject: Extreme emotional meltdown of 7 year old over very small things - self regulation problem?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you can't handle loosing, don't play the game. I would drop all sports and get rid of all games,, gaming systems.
How is that going to help the kid practice emotional regulation and sportsmanship?
Try practicing at home with quick turnaround games like Uno and Spot It. If he starts down the path of a meltdown, calmly say, "I can't play with you if you throw a fit." If he continues, calmly put the game away and pull it out again another time. Effusively praise good sportsmanship. When my DS was younger we scripted things he could say like, "Good game. Would you like to play again?" that he could use if he lost. I always made sure we ended a session with him winning.
Battleship is another one. It takes longer but each hit and/or sinking is a chance to practice emotional regulation and kids that age seem to really like the game.
You can also talk about losing being a chance to get better at whatever it is. People who are really good at something have put a lot of time into practicing and have probably lost a lot of games to get where they are. Maybe if there's a particular sport and team he likes, he can look at their win/loss records and watch how the team handles losing.
Yup, throw out the baby with the bathwater.