56 years old male, same job 30 years, can retire if I’d like but would be tight. Family life ok, one great daughter never gave us an minute problem, I credit her mother, gone with an accounting degree working in Atlanta worried to death about her future just because. Scared I will get a terminal illness and die before I spend my retirement. Have traveled, enjoy two expensive hobbies flying and boating.

I give it a better then I deserve

I'm heading towards 50s, just ended 2nd marriage with a large financial loss, and 2years unemployed. My 2 pre-teens have lived with their father and despite my every effort I have limited visitation, and ive accepted ill never be mother of tje year.


I'm moving to a new state to start afresh with a job and life. I'm almost estranged from my formerly close family and most friends but it's for the best.

I hope to yet make the best of it, but it's not what I hoped or expected.

Anonymous wrote:Kids are fantastic
Health is great, knock on wood
Marriage is eh
Career is not great
Friends are fine
Life is overall good

Same here. But marriage and careers are important, aren't they?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. It hasn't turned out the way I wanted mainly due to secondary infertility (trying for baby #2 for two years now, probably not going to happen) and to career mediocrity. I'm in a part time job that I love but I make only $15 per hour. Not what I expected with 2 masters degrees. My job is very family friendly though,

You're over 50 and trying for a second?? I'm sorry, but it's probably not going to happen without donor eggs.

This poster is probably not over 50 (although this IS the over 50 thread.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nearing 60. Great kid, terrible marriage (separated), mediocre career. Obsessed with making my 60s the best decade of my life by going all out.

How will you go all out?

Move to a place I like and keep building my practice now that I have found what I am good at doing that companies are willing to pay for. I also want to teach as an adjunct, which I should have done years ago.

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. It hasn't turned out the way I wanted mainly due to secondary infertility (trying for baby #2 for two years now, probably not going to happen) and to career mediocrity. I'm in a part time job that I love but I make only $15 per hour. Not what I expected with 2 masters degrees. My job is very family friendly though,

You're over 50 and trying for a second?? I'm sorry, but it's probably not going to happen without donor eggs.

Yes and no. It hasn't turned out the way I wanted mainly due to secondary infertility (trying for baby #2 for two years now, probably not going to happen) and to career mediocrity. I'm in a part time job that I love but I make only $15 per hour. Not what I expected with 2 masters degrees. My job is very family friendly though,

Anonymous wrote:i thought I'd live in NYC doing journalism and have one kid.

Instead I have three kids and work part time. Great husband, regular sex, college sweetheart, financially stable - we are millionaires, live in suburbs in old but charming house, travel a lot but wish we could more, ids are great - no issues so far. Health is good but weigh more than I wish I did but don't obsess, exercise daily, eating decent.

I don't wish it were any different on balance.

How many pounds would you like to lose, ideally?

Anonymous wrote:Nearing 60. Great kid, terrible marriage (separated), mediocre career. Obsessed with making my 60s the best decade of my life by going all out.

How will you go all out?

Maybe I'm an odd duck, but when I was a kid I never really thought about what I wanted from life. We were really poor and I've been on my own since I was in my early teens. My focus was always on making rent. If I had dreams, it was of having a job where I didn't have to work Sundays. But, that was pretty much it. My life has definitely well exceeded that bar. In hindsight, I wish I had had more money to travel when I was younger and single, but that's the only thing i would change. And I wish my mom had not died. Other than that, I'm happy and fulfilled.

Happily married, semi retired. Spent too many years in a career that I really did not enjoy and that really did not produce enough income.

What went well- We 'get each other" in our marriage;symbiotic and we appreciate each other. We are healthy, 2 kids who were happy,had everything we needed, if not everything we wanted...we were both public servants with limited income opportunities- but stable jobs. Lovely dogs who were part of the family- all of them...and we miss them! We were close with our families.

What did not go well: We are Ok financially, but not super secure should something happen with a lot of cash. we do have pensions, savings. We don't spend much, so we don't feel we are lacking. One kid divorced and moved far away so our close family was no longer-no fun filled afternoons with getting together like we did for years with kids and spouses, or like we did with our own extended families in years past, no grandchildren and not likely to have them, which is a big heartbreak.It isn't fair that we should expect it, it just is. My parents died - very hard in those last years when everything just slips through your fingers so fast- and then they are gone.No chance to go back to say those things or do those things that are undone. About to go through this with husband's parents. Life is lonely sometimes- friends have retired and moved away, etc., making new friends is hard without the usual connections of kids and work. People are in different places in their lives- older, have grandchildren, travel a lot, etc.


What I would have done differently- different job, better financial advice and practice, would not have spent so much for kid's weddings- fun,but a waste of $$ and it is not what is important, I would have had the kids pay for some of their own college- they would have been more invested, would have spent more time with my parents while they were alive.

Glad I married who I did.

Anonymous wrote:Nearing 60. Great kid, terrible marriage (separated), mediocre career. Obsessed with making my 60s the best decade of my life by going all out.

My mom's life imploded when in her late 50s (career and relationships in the toilet, homeless, bankrupt, lost pretty much everything you can lose, etc.). She moved, changed careers, and began again. This time she did what she loved, lived in a place she loved, and saved like crazy. She consciously decided to set aside romantic relationships and just focused on being happy on her own. It took a few years, but eventually her new career took off, she found a great apartment in a wonderful town, made a ton of friends, traveled the world, and found great meaning and joy volunteering with a local theater company. Without a doubt, the last 20 years were the happiest of her life. Losing everything was the best thing that ever happened to her.

You can do it too, pp. Just focus on what makes you happy and do that.

i thought I'd live in NYC doing journalism and have one kid.

Instead I have three kids and work part time. Great husband, regular sex, college sweetheart, financially stable - we are millionaires, live in suburbs in old but charming house, travel a lot but wish we could more, ids are great - no issues so far. Health is good but weigh more than I wish I did but don't obsess, exercise daily, eating decent.

I don't wish it were any different on balance.

Anonymous wrote:Well, I was feeling close and then we had the election. Now I face the last years of my civil servant career in an environment that is likely to be hostile and not respectful.

not forever - buck up.

Nearing 60. Great kid, terrible marriage (separated), mediocre career. Obsessed with making my 60s the best decade of my life by going all out.