Anonymous
12/04/2016 13:25
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What were the signs?
For me, he wasn't like anyone else I knew. He arranged for a $200 loan from the bank when he was 14. Bought a lawn mower and mowed enough lawns to buy a car at 16. Paid his way through college with scholarships and work.
And without fail, he made 3 calls each Sunday. One to his mom and one to each grandmother.
Wow that is a red flag
I would love to find someone who does this.
Anonymous
12/04/2016 12:50
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
He's a good person, yes. Professionally respected. Honest. Shares the household/child burden.
Anonymous
12/04/2016 12:16
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What were the signs?
For me, he wasn't like anyone else I knew. He arranged for a $200 loan from the bank when he was 14. Bought a lawn mower and mowed enough lawns to buy a car at 16. Paid his way through college with scholarships and work.
And without fail, he made 3 calls each Sunday. One to his mom and one to each grandmother.
Wow that is a red flag
In what planet?
I think thread' like these are interesting because they highlight what different people value in a relationship and how different the same action can be perceived by different people.
Perhaps, PP sees this as a redflag because it might mean the man has difficulty putting boundaries in place with his mother, and that his wife would always play second fiddle to mom.
Personally, I would find the phone calls sweet assuming there weren't other behaviors pointing to him lacking boundaries.
On the other hand, a pp mentioned her boyfriend did her laundry for her I would have considered that a red flag for a man with controlling, OCD tendencies BTDT, but that is me.
What works for one doesn't work for another.
Really? I am the PP whose boyfriend did my laundry when we were dating. Why would you consider that OCD tendencies(I am curious)? He does the laundry for everybody now, kids and relatives who stay over included. He also does the dishes and the toilets. I cook and I vacuum as well.
I cannot even imagine how making 3 phone calls to relatives on Sunday can be considered a sign of potential lack of boundaries.
My husband calls his mother everyday. I too call my mother and one of my siblings everyday. Why is this strange? My mother (still married to my father) calls at least 3 of her siblings everyday(she has 10 of them).
Yes it is a problem. Sound like you talk to her about everything in your life. Grow up.
You see your coworkers every weekday, and you probably spend more time on small talk with them than I spend talking with my mother. Do you talk to them about everything in your life?
What is this irrational fear of mothers?
Anonymous
12/04/2016 12:12
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What were the signs?
For me, he wasn't like anyone else I knew. He arranged for a $200 loan from the bank when he was 14. Bought a lawn mower and mowed enough lawns to buy a car at 16. Paid his way through college with scholarships and work.
And without fail, he made 3 calls each Sunday. One to his mom and one to each grandmother.
Wow that is a red flag
In what planet?
I think thread' like these are interesting because they highlight what different people value in a relationship and how different the same action can be perceived by different people.
Perhaps, PP sees this as a redflag because it might mean the man has difficulty putting boundaries in place with his mother, and that his wife would always play second fiddle to mom.
Personally, I would find the phone calls sweet assuming there weren't other behaviors pointing to him lacking boundaries.
On the other hand, a pp mentioned her boyfriend did her laundry for her I would have considered that a red flag for a man with controlling, OCD tendencies BTDT, but that is me.
What works for one doesn't work for another.
Really? I am the PP whose boyfriend did my laundry when we were dating. Why would you consider that OCD tendencies(I am curious)? He does the laundry for everybody now, kids and relatives who stay over included. He also does the dishes and the toilets. I cook and I vacuum as well.
I cannot even imagine how making 3 phone calls to relatives on Sunday can be considered a sign of potential lack of boundaries.
My husband calls his mother everyday. I too call my mother and one of my siblings everyday. Why is this strange? My mother (still married to my father) calls at least 3 of her siblings everyday(she has 10 of them).
Yes it is a problem. Sound like you talk to her about everything in your life. Grow up.
Anonymous
12/04/2016 10:58
Subject: Re:S/O Did you marry a winner?
I did. Nerdy guy even among the other nerdy types at Yale. But very kind and very creative. Has worked incredibly hard and is way more professionally savvy than I realized. I got really lucky!
Anonymous
12/04/2016 10:55
Subject: Re:S/O Did you marry a winner?
I call my mother every Sunday and I am a woman. Is that a red flag to keep in contact with your parents? Sheesh.
Anonymous
12/04/2016 10:52
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What were the signs?
For me, he wasn't like anyone else I knew. He arranged for a $200 loan from the bank when he was 14. Bought a lawn mower and mowed enough lawns to buy a car at 16. Paid his way through college with scholarships and work.
And without fail, he made 3 calls each Sunday. One to his mom and one to each grandmother.
Wow that is a red flag
In what planet?
I think thread' like these are interesting because they highlight what different people value in a relationship and how different the same action can be perceived by different people.
Perhaps, PP sees this as a redflag because it might mean the man has difficulty putting boundaries in place with his mother, and that his wife would always play second fiddle to mom.
Personally, I would find the phone calls sweet assuming there weren't other behaviors pointing to him lacking boundaries.
On the other hand, a pp mentioned her boyfriend did her laundry for her I would have considered that a red flag for a man with controlling, OCD tendencies BTDT, but that is me.
What works for one doesn't work for another.
Really? I am the PP whose boyfriend did my laundry when we were dating. Why would you consider that OCD tendencies(I am curious)? He does the laundry for everybody now, kids and relatives who stay over included. He also does the dishes and the toilets. I cook and I vacuum as well.
I cannot even imagine how making 3 phone calls to relatives on Sunday can be considered a sign of potential lack of boundaries.
My husband calls his mother everyday. I too call my mother and one of my siblings everyday. Why is this strange? My mother (still married to my father) calls at least 3 of her siblings everyday(she has 10 of them).
Anonymous
12/04/2016 10:39
Subject: Re:S/O Did you marry a winner?
My husband grew up really poor. He works very hard to always make sure his work skills are razor sharp and earns good money, so we don't struggle economically. I really admire his dedication to being the best at his job. He is also really kind to people at work. When I meet his co-workers I always feel proud to be his wife because everyone raves about what great guy he is to work with.
Anonymous
12/04/2016 10:33
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What were the signs?
For me, he wasn't like anyone else I knew. He arranged for a $200 loan from the bank when he was 14. Bought a lawn mower and mowed enough lawns to buy a car at 16. Paid his way through college with scholarships and work.
And without fail, he made 3 calls each Sunday. One to his mom and one to each grandmother.
Wow that is a red flag
You are the red flag. What in the world is wrong with a man talking to his family members? OMG, people, you are so warped.
Title for next DCUM post?
"Met a guy who ignores the women in his family. Should I date him"?
Alternatively,
" My girlfriend got tix for a show on Sunday, it's our favorite band, and the tix are hard to get, but the show is at 3 and I always call mum at 3 on Sundays. Should I not go?"
Anonymous
12/04/2016 10:31
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What were the signs?
For me, he wasn't like anyone else I knew. He arranged for a $200 loan from the bank when he was 14. Bought a lawn mower and mowed enough lawns to buy a car at 16. Paid his way through college with scholarships and work.
And without fail, he made 3 calls each Sunday. One to his mom and one to each grandmother.
Wow that is a red flag
In what planet?
I think thread' like these are interesting because they highlight what different people value in a relationship and how different the same action can be perceived by different people.
Perhaps, PP sees this as a redflag because it might mean the man has difficulty putting boundaries in place with his mother, and that his wife would always play second fiddle to mom.
Personally, I would find the phone calls sweet assuming there weren't other behaviors pointing to him lacking boundaries.
On the other hand, a pp mentioned her boyfriend did her laundry for her I would have considered that a red flag for a man with controlling, OCD tendencies BTDT, but that is me.
What works for one doesn't work for another.
Anonymous
12/04/2016 10:25
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What were the signs?
For me, he wasn't like anyone else I knew. He arranged for a $200 loan from the bank when he was 14. Bought a lawn mower and mowed enough lawns to buy a car at 16. Paid his way through college with scholarships and work.
And without fail, he made 3 calls each Sunday. One to his mom and one to each grandmother.
Wow that is a red flag
You are the red flag. What in the world is wrong with a man talking to his family members? OMG, people, you are so warped.
Title for next DCUM post?
"Met a guy who ignores the women in his family. Should I date him"?
Anonymous
12/04/2016 10:04
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
yes! Took good care of me at my lowest point in life, encourages me to reach my goals, tells me I'm a good mom, and most importantly to me, he is a shark at work and I will never have to worry about money again. I grew up very poor and money anxious so this makes my entire life feel more secure.
Anonymous
12/04/2016 09:33
Subject: Re:S/O Did you marry a winner?
I lucked out. He is the mellow to my crazy and I am his motivation to his laid back attitude. He makes almost all the food in the house, has a good job and is great with our child. We share most responsibilities except the cooking.
Anonymous
12/04/2016 09:31
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What were the signs?
For me, he wasn't like anyone else I knew. He arranged for a $200 loan from the bank when he was 14. Bought a lawn mower and mowed enough lawns to buy a car at 16. Paid his way through college with scholarships and work.
And without fail, he made 3 calls each Sunday. One to his mom and one to each grandmother.
Wow that is a red flag
In what planet?
Anonymous
12/04/2016 09:25
Subject: S/O Did you marry a winner?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What were the signs?
For me, he wasn't like anyone else I knew. He arranged for a $200 loan from the bank when he was 14. Bought a lawn mower and mowed enough lawns to buy a car at 16. Paid his way through college with scholarships and work.
And without fail, he made 3 calls each Sunday. One to his mom and one to each grandmother.
Wow that is a red flag
You are the red flag. What in the world is wrong with a man talking to his family members? OMG, people, you are so warped.