Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 20:36     Subject: Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Sure sounds like everyone over-reacted, except that pastor - thank goodness there are a few good people out there.


This.

We have something called free speech in this country. That includes offensive speech. I agree that the girl should have known better, but she does have the right to express herself in whatever (possibly offensive) way that she wants without having to accept threats of violence.


Uh, that's not actually how "free speech" works. You have a First Amendment right to express yourself without fear of reprisal from a government. But you don't have a right to duck consequences of people reacting to the things you say.

I agree that people shouldn't threaten violence. But that has nothing to do with her right to free speech.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 20:26     Subject: Re:Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Something very, very similar is happening to a teen in my extended family. The mother of one of her peers, a member of the offended minority group, started a social media account where she posts photos of the "bigot", a 15-year-old girl, at her afterschool job and outside her school and home. Lawyers are involved.


Why/how are lawyers involved? That sounds potentially excessive, but photographing someone in public probably isn't illegal. I assume there's much more going on here than just that example. If people (old enough to do better) do something wrong & shameful, they can expect that to become part of their reputation and bring embarrassment and shame.


I'm not a lawyer and I'm not privy to the discussions, but there is a case for harassment, from what I understand. I disagree that teens should be punished *forever* for this kind of stuff. Relative has been disciplined by her school (private, so they have a lot of leeway when it comes to issues outside the classroom) and her parents, and her reputation has certainly suffered. I disagree that this type of behavior should haunt someone forever. And I think it's grossly unhinged for an adult to target a minor in this way, regardless of the offense. And in this case, it was much milder than using the n-word, in my opinion.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 19:36     Subject: Your thoughts on this please....
My thoughts on this is parents need to do their jobs not just teaching history, diversity etc, but that actions have consequences.

Every single day we have threads on here with people excusing their kid's behavior.

This is the result of never holding or allowing others ( teachers, neighbors in-laws, the other parent) to hold your kid accountable.

Start young with teaching them character and you won't be disappointed.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 19:33     Subject: Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Sure sounds like everyone over-reacted, except that pastor - thank goodness there are a few good people out there.


OP here, yes I was very impressed by the pastor. Actually another black pastor in the area posted that he would welcome the 16 year old and her family to his church. He talked about having a "correcting philosophy" instead of a judging one.

Many posters felt that the pastor was way too easy on the girl. I felt he displayed true leadership and I'm sure it was not an easy thing for him to do.


The AA community has a word for these type of "pastors"..... sure death threats are wrong but the girl should have known better and I don't care about her feeling "suicidal" I feel like that has become the go-to when your get caught in your actions.

Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 19:00     Subject: Re:Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My (white) neice uses the n word (ok the slang "nigga" version) a LOT in social media posts and usually about other white kids, its so weird. She lives in a diverse area and her friend group is literally about 50% POC, what gives?!

Unacceptable and the AA community has made it clear it doesn't matter if it ends in an 'a' or an 'r'. Her parents should be horribly ashamed of her.


Her parents should share this situation with her so she can understand what the potential consequences are. And they should make her close her SM accounts until she stops.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 18:58     Subject: Re:Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:I get it, the kid is ignorant. And there's a teachable moment and a chance for her to grow and make better choices.

That said, I don't think normalizing this language under the guise of kids being kids is okay. I don't think the kid should be stoned or whatever, but I do think the natural consequence of engaging in abhorrent, racist behavior is probably social ostracism. I felt the same way about that Stanford rapist guy whose parents were whining about his life being ruined by being brought to justice. Uh, this is a natural consequence, man. Don't rape. Don't do racist things.

I also think parents are idiots when it comes to raising their kids in the age of social media. People need to instill the point that there is no such thing as a "private" conversation when it occurs online and to conduct themselves as though God is watching them. If they wouldn't do something in front of our entire church, then they shouldn't be doing it online period end of story.


Although I agree with most of what you're saying, I don't think it's appropriate to compare the truly violent rape of the woman at Stanford (on the ground, behind a dumpster while she was passed out) to a 16-year old girl pulling off a really stupid, ignorant and insensitive social media posting...the two things are simply not comparable. I would advise you to find another example to compare. Of course, racist and insensitive talking and social media posts should not be tolerated and should absolutely be called out, but let's not compare it to what happened in Stanford.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 18:58     Subject: Re:Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:Something very, very similar is happening to a teen in my extended family. The mother of one of her peers, a member of the offended minority group, started a social media account where she posts photos of the "bigot", a 15-year-old girl, at her afterschool job and outside her school and home. Lawyers are involved.


Very scary! Are lawyers involved due to the need for a restraining order?
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 18:57     Subject: Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:
Sure sounds like everyone over-reacted, except that pastor - thank goodness there are a few good people out there.


OP here, yes I was very impressed by the pastor. Actually another black pastor in the area posted that he would welcome the 16 year old and her family to his church. He talked about having a "correcting philosophy" instead of a judging one.

Many posters felt that the pastor was way too easy on the girl. I felt he displayed true leadership and I'm sure it was not an easy thing for him to do.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 18:40     Subject: Re:Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:Something very, very similar is happening to a teen in my extended family. The mother of one of her peers, a member of the offended minority group, started a social media account where she posts photos of the "bigot", a 15-year-old girl, at her afterschool job and outside her school and home. Lawyers are involved.


Why/how are lawyers involved? That sounds potentially excessive, but photographing someone in public probably isn't illegal. I assume there's much more going on here than just that example. If people (old enough to do better) do something wrong & shameful, they can expect that to become part of their reputation and bring embarrassment and shame.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 18:37     Subject: Re:Your thoughts on this please....
Something very, very similar is happening to a teen in my extended family. The mother of one of her peers, a member of the offended minority group, started a social media account where she posts photos of the "bigot", a 15-year-old girl, at her afterschool job and outside her school and home. Lawyers are involved.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 18:31     Subject: Re:Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:My (white) neice uses the n word (ok the slang "nigga" version) a LOT in social media posts and usually about other white kids, its so weird. She lives in a diverse area and her friend group is literally about 50% POC, what gives?!

Unacceptable and the AA community has made it clear it doesn't matter if it ends in an 'a' or an 'r'. Her parents should be horribly ashamed of her.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 18:27     Subject: Re:Your thoughts on this please....
My (white) neice uses the n word (ok the slang "nigga" version) a LOT in social media posts and usually about other white kids, its so weird. She lives in a diverse area and her friend group is literally about 50% POC, what gives?!
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 16:31     Subject: Re:Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No one actually beat her or dragged her anywhere, right? She is 16 and should have known better. So no I don't feel sorry for her at all and think that being ostracized from her community is fine.


+1. Nobody should be threatening anyone, and certainly actually harming someone is unacceptable, but freedom of speech is not freedom from other people's judgement or social consequences for when others choose how to treat you based on how you act. This is an older teen who should have known better or at least known to consider potential consequences before making a decision.


This times a million.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 15:46     Subject: Re:Your thoughts on this please....
Anonymous wrote:No one actually beat her or dragged her anywhere, right? She is 16 and should have known better. So no I don't feel sorry for her at all and think that being ostracized from her community is fine.


+1. Nobody should be threatening anyone, and certainly actually harming someone is unacceptable, but freedom of speech is not freedom from other people's judgement or social consequences for when others choose how to treat you based on how you act. This is an older teen who should have known better or at least known to consider potential consequences before making a decision.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 15:37     Subject: Your thoughts on this please....
She may not have known the history of blackface, but surely she knew that the n word is unacceptable.