Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a nmsf. #1 in class at academically rigorous private. All the right extracurriculars, internships, national and international awards to be competitive at Ivy and top private schools. We will be paying full freight--absolutely no aid. We can do so, but DH and I are first generation to go to college, do a cost benefit analysis for everything and have spent years supporting family members. We have a 529 plan for DC which would pay for excellent state school in this area but are not the best schools for DC's likely majors--plans to double major. DC has applied to said schools as "likely" admissions. If DC is admitted to Ivy or Ivy-lite is it really worth paying $65000 a year on top of the $250,000 we have already paid for grammar school and high school? This seems so crazy, and yet, DC has worked hard to get to this spot. What would you do? DC will likely ultimately seek a PhD so there are a lot of years of school ahead.

Your mistake has already been made. You spent the college money on grammar school and high school! I pray you don't live in a good school district!

It was not a mistake at all. The best decision we could have ever made for DC and we would do it again in a heartbeat. We are simply gathering information regarding whether another $250,000 for college will be similarly "worth it."

It's probably MORE worth it than private elementary school! College actually matters and can help you land a job after school. I'd spend money on college before private elementary school.

You remind me of my inlaws though. They would say the same thing. They spent at least 500k educating each child. My parents spent $0. I have done just as well, if not better, than my husband. My inlaws think it was worth the money and they are better parents because of it. Yet they can't afford to retire.

Wow. So defensive. Retirement is not an issue, but thank you for the concern. Most parents try to do what is right for their children and public vs. private is just one of the many decisions we make as parents. Neither is a better choice for everyone only a better choice for a particular child. You sound very angry and resentful.

I don't think anything I wrote seems angry.

Anyway, if you're all set for retirement then just spend the money. Your child got to attend a fancy elementary and high school so it's kind of unfair to stop not and demand they attend a state school.

I think it would be strange to spend all of this money on elementary and high achool but then demand your child attend a less expensive college for financial reasons. You already made the decision that you'll spend whatever it takes for education.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a nmsf. #1 in class at academically rigorous private. All the right extracurriculars, internships, national and international awards to be competitive at Ivy and top private schools. We will be paying full freight--absolutely no aid. We can do so, but DH and I are first generation to go to college, do a cost benefit analysis for everything and have spent years supporting family members. We have a 529 plan for DC which would pay for excellent state school in this area but are not the best schools for DC's likely majors--plans to double major. DC has applied to said schools as "likely" admissions. If DC is admitted to Ivy or Ivy-lite is it really worth paying $65000 a year on top of the $250,000 we have already paid for grammar school and high school? This seems so crazy, and yet, DC has worked hard to get to this spot. What would you do? DC will likely ultimately seek a PhD so there are a lot of years of school ahead.

Your mistake has already been made. You spent the college money on grammar school and high school! I pray you don't live in a good school district!

It was not a mistake at all. The best decision we could have ever made for DC and we would do it again in a heartbeat. We are simply gathering information regarding whether another $250,000 for college will be similarly "worth it."

It's probably MORE worth it than private elementary school! College actually matters and can help you land a job after school. I'd spend money on college before private elementary school.

You remind me of my inlaws though. They would say the same thing. They spent at least 500k educating each child. My parents spent $0. I have done just as well, if not better, than my husband. My inlaws think it was worth the money and they are better parents because of it. Yet they can't afford to retire.

Wow. So defensive. Retirement is not an issue, but thank you for the concern. Most parents try to do what is right for their children and public vs. private is just one of the many decisions we make as parents. Neither is a better choice for everyone only a better choice for a particular child. You sound very angry and resentful.

I don't think anything I wrote seems angry.

Anyway, if you're all set for retirement then just spend the money. Your child got to attend a fancy elementary and high school so it's kind of unfair to stop not and demand they attend a state school.

Please do go back and read what you wrote. You truly do sound like you have unresolved issues about what you didn't "get" vs. what your someone (presumably your husband" was afforded by his parents.

Nope. I'm looking forward to my inheritance .

Depends on what you think "worth it" means. If it means simply, the best education you can give him then yes. If it means a high paying job, security, and a lifetime of happiness, of course there is no guarantee. But odds are in his favor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a nmsf. #1 in class at academically rigorous private. All the right extracurriculars, internships, national and international awards to be competitive at Ivy and top private schools. We will be paying full freight--absolutely no aid. We can do so, but DH and I are first generation to go to college, do a cost benefit analysis for everything and have spent years supporting family members. We have a 529 plan for DC which would pay for excellent state school in this area but are not the best schools for DC's likely majors--plans to double major. DC has applied to said schools as "likely" admissions. If DC is admitted to Ivy or Ivy-lite is it really worth paying $65000 a year on top of the $250,000 we have already paid for grammar school and high school? This seems so crazy, and yet, DC has worked hard to get to this spot. What would you do? DC will likely ultimately seek a PhD so there are a lot of years of school ahead.

Your mistake has already been made. You spent the college money on grammar school and high school! I pray you don't live in a good school district!

It was not a mistake at all. The best decision we could have ever made for DC and we would do it again in a heartbeat. We are simply gathering information regarding whether another $250,000 for college will be similarly "worth it."

It's probably MORE worth it than private elementary school! College actually matters and can help you land a job after school. I'd spend money on college before private elementary school.

You remind me of my inlaws though. They would say the same thing. They spent at least 500k educating each child. My parents spent $0. I have done just as well, if not better, than my husband. My inlaws think it was worth the money and they are better parents because of it. Yet they can't afford to retire.

Wow. So defensive. Retirement is not an issue, but thank you for the concern. Most parents try to do what is right for their children and public vs. private is just one of the many decisions we make as parents. Neither is a better choice for everyone only a better choice for a particular child. You sound very angry and resentful.

I don't think anything I wrote seems angry.

Anyway, if you're all set for retirement then just spend the money. Your child got to attend a fancy elementary and high school so it's kind of unfair to stop not and demand they attend a state school.

Please do go back and read what you wrote. You truly do sound like you have unresolved issues about what you didn't "get" vs. what your someone (presumably your husband" was afforded by his parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a nmsf. #1 in class at academically rigorous private. All the right extracurriculars, internships, national and international awards to be competitive at Ivy and top private schools. We will be paying full freight--absolutely no aid. We can do so, but DH and I are first generation to go to college, do a cost benefit analysis for everything and have spent years supporting family members. We have a 529 plan for DC which would pay for excellent state school in this area but are not the best schools for DC's likely majors--plans to double major. DC has applied to said schools as "likely" admissions. If DC is admitted to Ivy or Ivy-lite is it really worth paying $65000 a year on top of the $250,000 we have already paid for grammar school and high school? This seems so crazy, and yet, DC has worked hard to get to this spot. What would you do? DC will likely ultimately seek a PhD so there are a lot of years of school ahead.

Your mistake has already been made. You spent the college money on grammar school and high school! I pray you don't live in a good school district!

It was not a mistake at all. The best decision we could have ever made for DC and we would do it again in a heartbeat. We are simply gathering information regarding whether another $250,000 for college will be similarly "worth it."

It's probably MORE worth it than private elementary school! College actually matters and can help you land a job after school. I'd spend money on college before private elementary school.

You remind me of my inlaws though. They would say the same thing. They spent at least 500k educating each child. My parents spent $0. I have done just as well, if not better, than my husband. My inlaws think it was worth the money and they are better parents because of it. Yet they can't afford to retire.

Wow. So defensive. Retirement is not an issue, but thank you for the concern. Most parents try to do what is right for their children and public vs. private is just one of the many decisions we make as parents. Neither is a better choice for everyone only a better choice for a particular child. You sound very angry and resentful.

I don't think anything I wrote seems angry.

Anyway, if you're all set for retirement then just spend the money. Your child got to attend a fancy elementary and high school so it's kind of unfair to stop not and demand they attend a state school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a nmsf. #1 in class at academically rigorous private. All the right extracurriculars, internships, national and international awards to be competitive at Ivy and top private schools. We will be paying full freight--absolutely no aid. We can do so, but DH and I are first generation to go to college, do a cost benefit analysis for everything and have spent years supporting family members. We have a 529 plan for DC which would pay for excellent state school in this area but are not the best schools for DC's likely majors--plans to double major. DC has applied to said schools as "likely" admissions. If DC is admitted to Ivy or Ivy-lite is it really worth paying $65000 a year on top of the $250,000 we have already paid for grammar school and high school? This seems so crazy, and yet, DC has worked hard to get to this spot. What would you do? DC will likely ultimately seek a PhD so there are a lot of years of school ahead.

Your mistake has already been made. You spent the college money on grammar school and high school! I pray you don't live in a good school district!

It was not a mistake at all. The best decision we could have ever made for DC and we would do it again in a heartbeat. We are simply gathering information regarding whether another $250,000 for college will be similarly "worth it."

It's probably MORE worth it than private elementary school! College actually matters and can help you land a job after school. I'd spend money on college before private elementary school.

You remind me of my inlaws though. They would say the same thing. They spent at least 500k educating each child. My parents spent $0. I have done just as well, if not better, than my husband. My inlaws think it was worth the money and they are better parents because of it. Yet they can't afford to retire.

Wow. So defensive. Retirement is not an issue, but thank you for the concern. Most parents try to do what is right for their children and public vs. private is just one of the many decisions we make as parents. Neither is a better choice for everyone only a better choice for a particular child. You sound very angry and resentful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In some ways, it is NOT your decision to make. I don't mean that you don't have the right to spend your money the way you want to, just that you have spent YEARS and $100k for private school setting your DC up to be in this position. If you bail on the plan you have been following (since birth?), your DC might not be able to deal with the change. Having started at a top-25 school but graduating from my state flagship school after a lot of floundering, I can tell you that the biggest reason I had trouble in college was because I had to attend the school we could afford rather than my first choice. Talk to your DC, NOW, and figure out what they are thinking.

By the way, there are LOTS of things that need to be part of your ongoing conversations with your DC. For example, a good case can be made that double majors are a bad idea. http://calnewport.com/blog/2010/09/27/how-double-majors-can-ruin-your-life-two-arguments-for-doing-less/

I'm not saying a double major is a bad idea for your DC just that more is not always better.

We are not "bailing" and Ivy league was never the "plan." DC is extremely self motivated, academically inquisitive and will ultimately choose where to go to college. A mature discussion about a cost/benefit analysis is an important part of any big decision--college is no different. It is an important life lesson too many parents fail to teach their children. Regarding double major, DC has definitive interests and skill sets and for the particular field DC wants to enter a double complimentary major is the right path.

I agree.

I would add that you need to have a mature discussion about DC's priorities, personality, academic interests and goals. Never choose a school based on its brand name. Choose based on who your child is and what your child needs and wants.

Anonymous wrote:In some ways, it is NOT your decision to make. I don't mean that you don't have the right to spend your money the way you want to, just that you have spent YEARS and $100k for private school setting your DC up to be in this position. If you bail on the plan you have been following (since birth?), your DC might not be able to deal with the change. Having started at a top-25 school but graduating from my state flagship school after a lot of floundering, I can tell you that the biggest reason I had trouble in college was because I had to attend the school we could afford rather than my first choice. Talk to your DC, NOW, and figure out what they are thinking.

By the way, there are LOTS of things that need to be part of your ongoing conversations with your DC. For example, a good case can be made that double majors are a bad idea. http://calnewport.com/blog/2010/09/27/how-double-majors-can-ruin-your-life-two-arguments-for-doing-less/

I'm not saying a double major is a bad idea for your DC just that more is not always better.

We are not "bailing" and Ivy league was never the "plan." DC is extremely self motivated, academically inquisitive and will ultimately choose where to go to college. A mature discussion about a cost/benefit analysis is an important part of any big decision--college is no different. It is an important life lesson too many parents fail to teach their children. Regarding double major, DC has definitive interests and skill sets and for the particular field DC wants to enter a double complimentary major is the right path.

Are you set for retirement ? If you aren't then your child needs to take out loans to cover the difference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a nmsf. #1 in class at academically rigorous private. All the right extracurriculars, internships, national and international awards to be competitive at Ivy and top private schools. We will be paying full freight--absolutely no aid. We can do so, but DH and I are first generation to go to college, do a cost benefit analysis for everything and have spent years supporting family members. We have a 529 plan for DC which would pay for excellent state school in this area but are not the best schools for DC's likely majors--plans to double major. DC has applied to said schools as "likely" admissions. If DC is admitted to Ivy or Ivy-lite is it really worth paying $65000 a year on top of the $250,000 we have already paid for grammar school and high school? This seems so crazy, and yet, DC has worked hard to get to this spot. What would you do? DC will likely ultimately seek a PhD so there are a lot of years of school ahead.

Your mistake has already been made. You spent the college money on grammar school and high school! I pray you don't live in a good school district!

It was not a mistake at all. The best decision we could have ever made for DC and we would do it again in a heartbeat. We are simply gathering information regarding whether another $250,000 for college will be similarly "worth it."

It's probably MORE worth it than private elementary school! College actually matters and can help you land a job after school. I'd spend money on college before private elementary school.

You remind me of my inlaws though. They would say the same thing. They spent at least 500k educating each child. My parents spent $0. I have done just as well, if not better, than my husband. My inlaws think it was worth the money and they are better parents because of it. Yet they can't afford to retire.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a nmsf. #1 in class at academically rigorous private. All the right extracurriculars, internships, national and international awards to be competitive at Ivy and top private schools. We will be paying full freight--absolutely no aid. We can do so, but DH and I are first generation to go to college, do a cost benefit analysis for everything and have spent years supporting family members. We have a 529 plan for DC which would pay for excellent state school in this area but are not the best schools for DC's likely majors--plans to double major. DC has applied to said schools as "likely" admissions. If DC is admitted to Ivy or Ivy-lite is it really worth paying $65000 a year on top of the $250,000 we have already paid for grammar school and high school? This seems so crazy, and yet, DC has worked hard to get to this spot. What would you do? DC will likely ultimately seek a PhD so there are a lot of years of school ahead.

Your mistake has already been made. You spent the college money on grammar school and high school! I pray you don't live in a good school district!

It was not a mistake at all. The best decision we could have ever made for DC and we would do it again in a heartbeat. We are simply gathering information regarding whether another $250,000 for college will be similarly "worth it."

Anonymous wrote:DC is a nmsf. #1 in class at academically rigorous private. All the right extracurriculars, internships, national and international awards to be competitive at Ivy and top private schools. We will be paying full freight--absolutely no aid. We can do so, but DH and I are first generation to go to college, do a cost benefit analysis for everything and have spent years supporting family members. We have a 529 plan for DC which would pay for excellent state school in this area but are not the best schools for DC's likely majors--plans to double major. DC has applied to said schools as "likely" admissions. If DC is admitted to Ivy or Ivy-lite is it really worth paying $65000 a year on top of the $250,000 we have already paid for grammar school and high school? This seems so crazy, and yet, DC has worked hard to get to this spot. What would you do? DC will likely ultimately seek a PhD so there are a lot of years of school ahead.

Your mistake has already been made. You spent the college money on grammar school and high school! I pray you don't live in a good school district!

In my view, it is not worth it. Studies show that students who apply to and are qualified to attend Ivies but ultimately don't attend Ivies just do as well as students who ultimately attend Ivy League schools, income-wise. Most students who apply to Ivies usually have certain characteristics (along with academic qualifications) that position them for success no matter where they end up.

Below is a summary of the study:

Who Needs Harvard?

But maybe the kids who got into Yale were simply more talented or hardworking than those who got into Tulane. To adjust for this, Krueger and Dale studied what happened to students who were accepted at an Ivy or a similar institution, but chose instead to attend a less sexy, "moderately selective" school. It turned out that such students had, on average, the same income twenty years later as graduates of the elite colleges. Krueger and Dale found that for students bright enough to win admission to a top school, later income "varied little, no matter which type of college they attended." In other words, the student, not the school, was responsible for the success.

See also:

https://www.econstor.eu/bitstream/10419/51889/1/664668143.pdf

http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/21/revisiting-the-value-of-elite-colleges/?_r=0

If you do decide to send your child to an expensive elite school, I would consider top-tier SLACs and not Ivy League schools, because the class sizes will be smaller, the professors more available, and there will be no TAs teaching any courses. Consider e.g. Amherst, Williams, or Bowdoin.

If you go down a tier or two, your child could likely get a full ride or something close to it.

Best of luck! He has lots of great options.

In some ways, it is NOT your decision to make. I don't mean that you don't have the right to spend your money the way you want to, just that you have spent YEARS and $100k for private school setting your DC up to be in this position. If you bail on the plan you have been following (since birth?), your DC might not be able to deal with the change. Having started at a top-25 school but graduating from my state flagship school after a lot of floundering, I can tell you that the biggest reason I had trouble in college was because I had to attend the school we could afford rather than my first choice. Talk to your DC, NOW, and figure out what they are thinking.

By the way, there are LOTS of things that need to be part of your ongoing conversations with your DC. For example, a good case can be made that double majors are a bad idea. http://calnewport.com/blog/2010/09/27/how-double-majors-can-ruin-your-life-two-arguments-for-doing-less/

I'm not saying a double major is a bad idea for your DC just that more is not always better.

Anonymous wrote:I went to Penn - and both of my bosses went to state schools. Different individuals thrive in different places - and many thrive at whatever school they go to.

+1