You are on a trip out of town and you have not already planned to do something with your days and nights, why exactly???

Are you sitting in your hotel room waiting for the phone to ring instead of going out and having fun?

Do you expect this guy to be sitting home, pining for you instead of going out and having fun? (and by having fun I do not mean cheating on you).

I can just picture you staring longingly at your phone thinking "Oh, why doesn't he call me???" And him staring longingly at his phone thinking "Oh, why doesn't she call me???" Ugh. If you miss him, call him. Check in and then go out.

Anonymous wrote:Best thing is not to text. If and when he texts - be breezy and say oops sorry - didnt hear from you so made other plans.

This

OP, it is a sucky problem to have and I have been in your shoes--except I am also divorced and working around my custody schedule and his. It would annoy me to no end because if we didn't have plans, I wasn't lacking in things to do but I did want to know the plan if there was one and I just preferred knowing. I tried all the methods suggested and in the end, I realized I wasn't a priority but just an option for him...a last minute one too.
But out of all the suggestions, the best one is to be direct "are you free Thur?" -- that way if he wasn't, you can plan Thursday and you had not been passive aggressive.

Anonymous wrote:Current version: since I haven't heard from you, I assume I should fill the nights this week I haven't already filled with other plans, and I'll just see you when I get back after my trip at some point.

Supposed to be exclusive, but clearly his mind is elsewhere.

Just curious: how long have you not heard from him?

Anonymous wrote:If we're even having this conversation, then he's not that into. Lots more fish in the sea.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing is not to text. If and when he texts - be breezy and say oops sorry - didnt hear from you so made other plans.

This times a million.

This and only this. I beg you!

This x 2 million.

If we're even having this conversation, then he's not that into. Lots more fish in the sea.

Anonymous wrote:Your text isn't bitchy as much as it is needy and transparent. Please don't send it. If a guy isn't doing what you need him to do, tell him plainly (and not via text) and then wait and watch and see. If he can't pull it together, leave. Don't beg and whine and get pissy trying to get someone to act right.

+1. If you do hear from him before your trip, I agree with the suggestion to say "already made plans, looking forward to seeing you when I get back". Save the discussion about pre-planning or lack thereof until you are face to face, post trip.

Anonymous wrote:Current version: since I haven't heard from you, I assume I should fill the nights this week I haven't already filled with other plans, and I'll just see you when I get back after my trip at some point.

Supposed to be exclusive, but clearly his mind is elsewhere.

Nope. Make your plans, go on your trip. Don't use any "oops, sorry" when you get back. A straightforward "I didn't hear from you so made other plans" should suffice. Go from there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing is not to text. If and when he texts - be breezy and say oops sorry - didnt hear from you so made other plans.

This times a million.

This and only this. I beg you!

This seems kind of passive-aggressive to me. I feel like this kind of stuff always backfires. So she says the above, and then he says "Well, screw that," and tells her he's busy for the week after she gets back, and on they go.
I'm not sure why OP can't just pick up the phone and make a call. But, I'm a man, and this kind of stuff seems to be above my pay grade...

Anonymous wrote:Best thing is not to text. If and when he texts - be breezy and say oops sorry - didnt hear from you so made other plans.

Agree with this, except I'd omit "sorry".

When I've been in OP's shoes, my instinct is to send a message like hers. Objectively, it's easier from the outside what the best way to handle it is.

Anonymous wrote:Your text isn't bitchy as much as it is needy and transparent. Please don't send it. If a guy isn't doing what you need him to do, tell him plainly (and not via text) and then wait and watch and see. If he can't pull it together, leave. Don't beg and whine and get pissy trying to get someone to act right.

This

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best thing is not to text. If and when he texts - be breezy and say oops sorry - didnt hear from you so made other plans.

This times a million.

Yes, this.

Yes.

Yes to breezy

Your text isn't bitchy as much as it is needy and transparent. Please don't send it. If a guy isn't doing what you need him to do, tell him plainly (and not via text) and then wait and watch and see. If he can't pull it together, leave. Don't beg and whine and get pissy trying to get someone to act right.